So, have 20 days sober, started off "high on life"...now, well, I'm just plain bitchy lol! I feel this tension and anger that's like insane, I'm constantly trying to keep it in check( haha working w the public doesn't help). Is this normal? Did anyone else feel these mood swings early in sobriety? Or am I just discovering that I'm, well, a bitch? Hahaha
You bet I've felt that way. I think EVERY dry alkie feels that way and is that way, until they work the steps. As it says in the Dr's Opinion in the Big Book, an alkie dry is restless, irritable and discontented until he or she can experience the sense of ease and comfort that comes with taking a few drinks...
In other words, when we stop drinking, we still have all the stuff there that made us drink in the first place...until we work the steps...
Good news, once you've worked the steps, you won't need to feel that way anymore. :)
Welcome to the club ... ... Yep ... Early sobriety had me going through so many changes, I didn't know which end was up half the time ... The 'Serenity Prayer' was something I said almost constantly the first few months ... ... Then, you know what ??? ... ... I started seeing ME in what I DIDN'T like about others .... WOW .... what a revelation that was ... and I started to look for why others ticked me off ... then I realized I was doing the same thing to them or someone else ... go figure!!!
If you're a 'bitch', well, that's normal for short periods of time ... Remember, we are trying to change our old way of thinking ... and that takes a little time ... I think you're doing great ... if something is bothering you, you ask about it ... great job ... You Go Girl ...
God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Completely normal. And as far as working with the public... When they anger me, I kill them w kindness, come home, vent, run... And come back home with a runners high. Steve was right on with the dr opinion, and python had a valid point, we hate others when they remind us of ourselves.
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sober: showing no excessive or extreme qualities of fancy, emotion, or prejudice
I think you are just discovering you are a person, a normal human being that feels different things at different times. We used to numb out and now we experience anger, testiness, frustration, etc. without having a drink to turn the emotion off. Nice thing about feelings? They change. If you don't like the one you are having now, don't worry, this too shall pass. :)
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I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
Typical stuff. It's hard to be nice but it's what will make you feel better about yourself. Practice giving out compliments to random people, strangers even. You won't believe how uplifting it is when they smile like you made their day.
Thanks guys !! Was starting to think "well maybe this is why I drank, cuz I'm an a**hole otherwise" lol. I mean I drank for so many years from an early age.. I probably don't really know who or how I am without it yknow? The tension and irritability I feel is more internal than being directed towards others. I was thinking last night, and this is strange, but during my angst (ha thanks for philosophy lesson pappy haha..was my major in college for a year haha) ridden teenage years i was a "cutter". Yup took straight razors to my arms on a nightly basis. Well, one night I had a mishap and cut too deep. My skin was wet and I hit an artery in my wrist.. Blood shooting straight out in a steady stream. Scared the hell outta me. Its something I remember so vividly. I also remember thinking "I'm not going to ER in my bathrobe w no makeup (no really..THATS what I was thinking lol)".. So I got dressed while holding a towel on arm to stop the blood. What scarede more than potentially bleeding out in my foster mothers bathroom was first, that this comforting habit that I did on a nightly basis and had complete control over had somehow "betrayed" me and become out of control. Secondly, my concern was foremost with appearing "normal" and put together for the doctors and other patients in ER!!!!???? Wtf. I managed to talk my way out of a stay in the psych ward (how? Dunno..I was maybe 17yrs old). I never cut again. Never. I was also thinking last night that this insane, destructive, but comforting habit of the past isn't all that different from my drinking in a sense. Except now I can't "just stop", I need to do work to stay stopped. And it's probably gonna suck sometimes. And I have to actually have the courage and strength to understand and DEAL with the reasons why I've done all these crazy things to myself. The self loathing I've felt my entire life is coming to the surface I think. Haha thanks for listening.
Thanks Tasha..ya it's kinda the same thing/illness/compulsion or addiction I guess. Just like a mindless dark tumultuous storm of self destruction. Haha I have a feeling I have a lot of work ahead of me, as we all do I suppose.
Steve P.- Good news, once you've worked the steps, you won't need to feel that way anymore.
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Once I put the drink down, I was left with the real problem. My thinking.
I have a diesase the centers in the mind, that effects the way I think, feel and behave. I suffered from a spiritual malady. The 12 Steps got me to a HP and changed the way I think, feel and behave. A psychic change. I no longer seek(obsess) over the solution(alcohol) to my problems. The 12 Steps is my solution today.
