Okay Angel, ... ... not sure too many stories are going to top the one you already have posted ... ... But, I had a similar test, you might call it, to occur to me:
I was two weeks away from getting my "One Year Medallion" ... ... ... Sober 11 1/2 months and @ 3 a.m. one morning, wife and I got a call from Tenn. ICU unit at Vanderbilt Hosp. (we live just south of Atlanta, Ga.)(4 1/2 hour drive to Nash.) ... ... ... Our youngest son, 28 y.o., was in 'critical care' following a multiple roll-over accident in his truck, he had been ejected (we'd never, ever known him to drive without his seat belt on ... but he'd been drinking and wasn't wearing it) ... He'd broken his back and neck in multiple places and they weren't sure he'd live through the next 24 hours ... So off we went ...
He did make it and after a 7 to 8 hour surgery to install steel rods in his back, he regained cognitive thought, so, no brain damage ... ... he did, however, become a 'high functioning' 'quadriplegic' ... meaning he has some use of his arm and hands but not total use ...
We brought him to our home, along with his dogs, after months of being in the hospital ... We had to cath him, do his bowel program (which you DO NOT want me to describe), use a lift to get him into and out-of his wheelchair, etc. ... (full time job) ...
This was THE MOST 'heart-breaking' thing to go through in my entire life ... He had been an 'ace' Cadillac engine mechanic with a number of certifications to build a car from the ground up ... He was making a very decent wage and was in high demand between 'dealerships', who kept trying to hire him away from each other ... He was going to be the son to take care of me and the wife in our old age ... (our eldest son is 'mentally retarded' and requires 24 hr care) ...
So ... ... ... The second or third day after the accident, while still in ICU, he asked me to get his truck towed out of an impound lot to his house ... (they charge a small daily fortune to store those things) ... So, since his accident was on Friday, Feb. 13th, it was wintertime and the high temp for the day was 32 degrees ... I went to his truck and had to wait an hour for the guy to get there to release it ... in the back of my son's truck was three cans of my favorite beer ... ... ... undamaged ... ... ... keep in mind it's 32 degrees outside ... ... ... I managed to get a few personal things out and run back to the comfort of my warm car, where I immediately prayed for strength and courage to leave that beer alone ...
A few weeks later, when I was back with my home group, by the sheer grace of God, I received my one year chip ... My D.O.S. is Feb. 25th, '08 ... my son's accident was Feb. 13th, '09 ... He's, of course, still quadriplegic, but doing well except I think he may, nope, I know, he's now addicted to 'pain killers' ... Please keep him in your prayers ... Thanks
God Bless, Pappy
P.S. This is all true ... I did not share this to get your sympathy nor your congratulations on staying sober thru the ordeal ...
It was most definitely a 'GOD THING' ... That's what you should take from this part of my life ... thanks ...
-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Tuesday 5th of June 2012 02:42:31 PM
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Great thread guys and one in which there are valuable lessons.
For me, as will happen to most who stay sober a while, I lost all my "rocks". My father, my sponsor and then my wife after a long illness. I am so grateful that my sponsor helped me find the God of my understanding and taught me that people have feet of clay. He helped me put my dependence in the right place, with God.
Through God's grace I was able to do what needed doing in each of these circumstances as a sober person with compassion and understanding. I nursed my wife through the trials of her disease and managed to look after the children and keep the family business going, the thought of a drink just never came up.
I had also done something my sponsor suggested a long time previously, I had let each of my loved ones, and I include my sponsor in that, know exactly how I felt about them, so when they passed there was nothing left unsaid, no regrets. And in all three I saw the power of their faith, and their selflessness. None were concerned for themselves, all were concerned for family, friends, and the wonderful nursing staff.
God has indeed blessed me.
> And my prayers go out for you and your son, Pappy.
God bless, Mike
-- Edited by Fyne Spirit on Tuesday 5th of June 2012 03:43:42 PM
I avoided this thread and still don't feel like sharing. I know that my trivial problems wouldn't compare, to what would be shared later. I don't know if it's perfectionism or a sense of shame. Maybe it's some tiny bit of humility that I swear I don't seem to have much of. One thing is for sure, I've be extremely blessed and am overwhelmingly grateful for this charmed life given to me by my HP and you wonderful people.
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Tuesday 5th of June 2012 05:05:00 PM
"He clamors for this or that, claiming he cannot master alcohol until his material needs are cared for. Nonsense. Some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth: Job or no job--wife or no wife--..." Big book p. 98
The book goes on to say, "Burn into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone." I would add to that - 'or anything'.
Many of us believed we couldn't get sober 'until' something was taken care of - some need met. Later, we discovered that we were wrong. Since then, many of us, particularly if we have been in sobriety for any length of time, have faced adversity in sobriety that easily eclipse the issues we thought needed to be resolved before we could put the bottle down.
When I was a newcomer, the greatest teacher I had was 'Roger' who stayed sober despite his young daughter dying in an accident mere inches from him. Since then, I have had my own tragedies that I have stayed sober through. Knowing Roger could make it through such an unthinkable horror and not pick up gave me hope.
Few of us have likely gone through something as traumatic as the loss of a child but we've had our own troubles. Unemployment, loss of our home, death of a family member, etc. What have you stayed sober through?
For me, probably wasn't even the toughest individually, but there had been so many things in rapid succession leading up to it that I was in no condition for another blow and so, my wife being denied parole in 2009 was the toughest. Having made it through that, then I know that if I continue to work this program and keep my spiritual house in order - I can withstand at least that much.
That knowledge strengthens me, gives me confidence in my ability to stay sober and gives me more hope for a successful today than I had twenty years ago. So again, what have you stayed sober through?
I haven't stayed sober thru anything significant (except my 21st birthday... Proud of that) but recently swim's daughter died in an auto crash involving a drunk driver. He (to my knowledge) has made atleast 3 meetings a day, and has thrown himself into the service of others. I thought he was a great example..., could you imagine... Burying your child?!?
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sober: showing no excessive or extreme qualities of fancy, emotion, or prejudice
A Buddhist monk was brought before the emperor and was asked to write a family blessing for the emperor's family. The monk produced six words which had a blade at his throat in a moment. The blessing was:
Grandfather dies; Father dies; Son dies.
The emperor gave the monk one chance to explain. The monk replied, "Everyone dies, but no man should die before he sees his grandchild born and no one need ever bury his child."
The emperor, to his credit, fell to his knees and begged the monk for forgiveness. *nods* Burying ones child is certainly one of the worst fates, if not the worst, that I could envision.
What a tough thing to go through Pappy. I'm glad you made it and my thoughts will remain on your son.
I was hesitant to post the original post because frankly, I didn't want to elicit comparisons - some people feeling that what they went through and what they succeeded in remaining sober through is somehow 'not as good' or 'wasn't as tough' as something someone else might have gone through. Mountains are mountains and though some are higher than others - we have all reached the summit on a daily basis since entering sobriety. When I first got sober, I thought being around people without a drink was impossible - but I did it. Then getting a job....then having a relationship. Each step is a challenge and each challenge successfully met makes us stronger in our sobriety...or so I have found. You've been through alot and stayed sober - in my mind that makes your ESH extremely valuable.
Thanks for the kind words Angel, ... ... ... I loved how you put it ... ... 'mountains are mountains' ... all difficult to climb for people like us ... If we stay sober today, then will can be prepared for and look forward to tomorrow's climb ...
Let's just work daily to stay in fit 'spiritual condition' so that we stand ready to meet the challenges of tomorrow, IF we are granted another tomorrow ...
God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
A bunch of stuff has happened...death in the family, spouse's illness and an accident, new career and more. Every time I make it through a challenging life event and don't drink my gratitude grows deeper, my faith gets stronger. It's truly a joy to realized how extraordinarily blessed I am and how I don't do it alone. God brought me to AA and brings me through so much more.
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I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
Great thread, really got me thinking. Life still happens when you are sober and I didn't have any rough years till I was 16 or 17 years sober.
I got married, moved, lost a job, lost a lot of investemnet $$, Grandparents and parents passed, wife started drinking etc.
None of these things are that rough, but they affected me way more than they should have, my program wasn't as strong as I thought and I really had to take a hard inventory of myself and my values and work on myself.
I'm grateful to God and AA for the gift of sobriety for almost all my adult life and a great journey it has been. Like it says on page 132, Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence. I don't make my own misery today.
People places and things can come and go. The 12 promises will always be in my life as long as I keep working for them....if that's all there is, it will be enough, nothing can take them away from us but us.
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Aloha Angell...had to think about this one as it has been many 24 hour periods of time for me. I guess there have been many events that have happened since 2/8/79 that I stayed sober and didn't drink thru and then that seems most natural to me cause I wanted to never drink again once I was done for any reason. I don't believe that there is or has ever been a good reason for me to drink and I just did because it was there.
In thinking what comes to mind for me was my first recovery chip ever received. It was my 16th anniversary and I didn't know it was coming. The secretary of the morning meeting in Hilo remembered my anniversary and arranged for the chip and I was surprised by it and the announcement. I took the chip and my head told me you're cured now...you can leave and I was facing the door of the cabana we were meeting in. I looked around the room and saw Louis sitting there with his shirt off and a pair of dark glasses on and a large tattoo across his stomach of the area he came from. He was the picture of arrogance and I related. I was done now I could leave and just as I started for the door way a newcomer who would for a while become a sponsee shouted out from behind Louis, "Keep coming back" and I woke up and then I sat down and then I was grateful just after being pissed for about a second. That was a good day for me. Great shares ((((hugs))))
Hey Nutasha, ... ... Don't forget, you can stop anytime, anywhere, ... AND START your day over ... I learned that I didn't have to embrace the 'stinkin' thinkin' If I didn't really want to ...
Go get a small bowl of 'ice cream' or a 'Popsicle' ... treat yourself for a few moments ... say the 'serenity prayer' ... and start the day over ... You're kids are just doing their job, trying to aggravate you ... Turn it around, try to aggravate them for a change ... act like a monkey or something, just change the pace for a little while ... Make your kids laugh about something ... Hard to be serious and depressed when you're laughing ... try it ...
Pappy
P.S. Oh, one other thing, what ever kind of day you're having ... it's what you chose to have ... We are what we think, so think ...'happy' ...
-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Wednesday 6th of June 2012 11:24:55 AM
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I'm having a shitty day. It's all in my head too... that's the bad thing. You guys talking about the hardest things you've stayed sober through, and I feel terrible when the hardest thing for me is just raising my own children, being me! I'm just crap today, and going to take them to the neighbors before I "break". So today, the hardest thing I'm overcoming, is just being me.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
since becoming sober life has the feeling of being charmed, like Dean said. But, i did make it through the passing of my Mom in 2010. i helped care for her for the year preceeding the cancer stealing her life away from us. But my God was sufficient to get me through the whole ordeal without a drink. Now, like Tasha says, i have head issues (that my committee yammers about being cured or won't hurt anybody else) when temptation finds me. sometimes it is the little things i have to really watch out for... getting out of my head/out of myself really helps me gain perspective, how insignificant my problems are by todays standards in our country. thanks, Angel, sheila
I guess the message of this thread is that God never sends you more than you can handle for one day. I can remember some early sobriety disasters like losing my job, or the break up of the most incredible relationship of all time, or when my cat was run over, and a number of other things that would have made good plausible excuses for drinking. But I was commited to a different path and, day by day, AA and God taught me how to handle adversity, big and small.
