Welcome back Shariw. I've been there myself dear, so I know how you feel. I relapsed so many times that my family wanted nothing to do with me, literally. I guess the turning point came many years later when I found myself reaching out for the bottle more and more. And 'why' might you ask? Well, the 'why' part is a little different for each one of us, but recovery was my only option. Once I stayed connected though A.A. and my sober network, everything else fell back into place, over time. So here's my suggestion dear; get re-connected, start the recover process again and never give up hope. We won't, either should you. Welcome, once again.
~God Bless~
-- Edited by Mr_David on Thursday 31st of May 2012 12:05:23 AM
Struggling with wanting to drink. Had over 2 weeks of sobriety and fell flat on my face Friday nite again. Starting over. My husband has left me due to my drinking and we were doing so well that he said he wasnt going to file for divorce and that he expected us to get back together soon...and now I've done this and may have blown my chance at being back together. I'm am such a nice and calm person when sober but become and awful mean and ugly person when drunk. I just don't understand why I would do that.... but I have almost another week of sobriety and am scared that I can't stay sober.
Thats exactly what happens shariw. Alcohol turns some of the greatest best people into someone who noone even wants to be around, its happened to me and many others. A sober life is something that can give you so much more than you even know if you take certain steps to rid yourself of the problem. Welcome and keep helping yourself.
thank you for the encouragement... I have my list of AA meetings and plan to attend as many as possible (my work hours are all over the place). I had know idea alcohol could have such a hold on a person, like it has on me. Gives me sympathy for people that struggle with addictions. I actually cry when I can't get something to drink. I drank in my early 20's and then stopped for many years while raising my family. Then once my children were grown I met a man who introduced me to drinking again and it has just gone downhill. Have done rehab, counselling, been commited. took pills that were supposed to help me with drinking and had classes to stop drinking and nothing seemed to work. I feel like a failure. But I have been sober for 5 days, so I know I can do it with God's help and making sure I get to meetings...One day at a time...
hi shari, we are here, we have been through what you are going through. you are not alone. alcohol has a very strong grip and we cannot break it alone. AA is a "we" program that helps awaken the spiritual life in us, finding a higher power, a sponsor, working the steps, all these things we learn in AA help us stay sober. keep coming back. hugs, jj/sheila
that's me...I had to be driven home because I was so angry and obnoxious. And this was at a friend's home and now it'll be a while for I am welcome back and I understand. I was blacked out and dont know what I said or did...came to when she got me home. I tell myself that it's in the past and move on and God has forgiven but the hurt is so raw and I'm so ashamed of myself. I just dont understand why I did it..
thank you for the encouragement... I have my list of AA meetings and plan to attend as many as possible (my work hours are all over the place). I had know idea alcohol could have such a hold on a person, like it has on me. Gives me sympathy for people that struggle with addictions. I actually cry when I can't get something to drink. I drank in my early 20's and then stopped for many years while raising my family. Then once my children were grown I met a man who introduced me to drinking again and it has just gone downhill. Have done rehab, counselling, been commited. took pills that were supposed to help me with drinking and had classes to stop drinking and nothing seemed to work. I feel like a failure. But I have been sober for 5 days, so I know I can do it with God's help and making sure I get to meetings...One day at a time...
Hi, the people on this board, and the people in the rooms are people who will understand. Were all very alike and if your having trouble Id suggest you go to some meetings, they can really help!.
I travelled a similar road before AA. I so wanted to be one of those who could be fixed with a little counselling and some medication but it wasn't to be. It seems a huge number of those that are identified as problem drinkers are able to straighten out either on their own or with a little medical help, and good for them. Some of my old school mates were in this class and just grew out of it.
But then there is the bunch to which I belong. The best efforts of the professionals, rehabs, and even from me just don't seem to work. I am one of those that must be a source of tremendous frustration to all those that try to help, a hopeless case. It seems I was beyond human aid. I was suffering from an illness which only a spiritual awakening could conquer. And that's what AA provides for me. A means of accomplishing a spiritual awakening through the 12 steps. And it has worked for me and countless others. All I needed to make a start was honesty, open mindedness, and willingness. If you have these three qualities, regadless of anything else, you can recover too.
Hi Sharlw, and welcome to the board. Get a sponsor and work the steps asap. Right now keep focusing on the first step (and that this disease kills people from the inside out), and don't look back on the days when you could get away with drinking. We have a saying "once a pickle, never a cucumber again". Once we turn the corner and our drinking takes that turn for the worse, it never gets better again, only worse yet. Question, you said that you "met a man who introduced you to drinking again" (your husband?). Is he/was he drinking in the home while you are trying to stay sober? Is he willing and able to not drink around you and not keep booze in the house for say a year or so? It's really tough to try and get sober while living with someone who drinks at home, even occasionally. It didn't work for me, my x told me that "it was my problem". She was Not willing to not drink around me. Well she was right (about it being my problem) but I had to choose to live and get sober. A couple decades later, I still am still sober and I'm happily married to someone else, 15 years today exactly. I'm not telling you to get a divorce, just saying that you need to have the conversation about not drinking in the house, and not expecting you to go to drinking functions for awhile (probably a year+). Most of the sober people that I talk to (including the ones on this board) went to 90 meetings in the first 90 days. We scheduled the meetings and worked our life around them. Sometimes it involves having a confidential conversation with our boss, letting him/her know that we're in recovery and how vital it is to make a daily meeting for a few months. Many of us attended 7am meetings before work, noon meetings, and 5:30pm meetings right after work, to get them in and sometimes more than one a day, if we still had an urge to drink or a "bad day". It's crucial to get to 90 days and it gets progressively easier from there, and the chances of success greatly improve from that point as well. Good luck, one day at a time.
I could never understand why I did the things I did .. especiall when I was drunk. And even when I was sober I was doing some pretty stupid/sick stuff, cuz I wasnt really sober ... the effects of booze were still in my head and my body therefor affecting my whole system of being.
Took me a LONG time to realize that I was a very sick individual and that I did 'these', or 'those' things cuz Im an alcoholic and thats what alcoholics do ... they drink. Plain and simple.
It wasn't until I suffered what I pray to be my last drunk and it struck me ... I would die if I didnt stop. My sponsor was right there for me ... she guided me via the BB of AA and God thru the steps and Im sober today!
You sound like the rest of us ... you're in the right place and there were a lot of good shares here already ... So I'll just say, glad you're here, looking forward to talking more ... and keep coming back ...
God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Im sober almost 3 months however,I know if you aint doing it for yourself it just wont work,,,,I stayed sober a long time for my daughter when she passed away I fell hard..........DO IT FOR YOUR SELF,YOUR WORTH IT........We love you and are here for you stay strong and find your self worth........I will keep you in my prayers
Stop putting things before your AA program and you will stop "failing." Do 90 meetings in 90 days - no excuses. You have only failed because you have not done the 1 thing that is necessary to stay sober. Commit fully to AA and take suggestions. Have you ever gone to 90 meetings in 90 days? Have you ever gotten a sponsor and worked all 12 steps? Have you ever really immersed yourself in the program? You are only a week sober and are already saying you can't make meetings cuz your work schedule. No excuses if you really want this....get busy and do the work. It is worth it and you are worth it.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
