I was working with a new client today, when she brings up her alcoholic son in law. [insert typical story... DUI/fines ect..] and I replied "to each his own" she looks me dead in the eye and puts down her lunch, straight faced and says "at 50 years old, don't you think he'd cut it out?" [did this comment remind anyone of the story in the bb about the jay-walker? Cause this is immediately what I thought of and I almost died trying not to crack a smile] I simply told her there are free programs out there to help problem drinkers and their families. ... I wanted to use words or phrases that may make it obvious that I have access to recovery info if she wanted it, with out actually saying it. I wasn't sure if she was simply venting or asking help. But I was also thinking about dean and Jerry and pythons responses about anonymity. [old timers use it loosely new comers usually as a security blanket] . ....... How would you have handled the situation?
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sober: showing no excessive or extreme qualities of fancy, emotion, or prejudice
When you said: I simply told her there are free programs out there to help problem drinkers and their families. ... Excellent response ...
Depending on how she responded ... you could have said you were 'close to someone that you know who is working the program' and just come out and ask if her 'son-in-law' has ever showed interest in stopping, that she knows of ? ... then state that you may can put her in touch with someone who will help only if the son-in-law is willing to try and stop ... I don't know ??? ... the conversation could go in so many directions at this point, it's hard to guess where it would end ... good topic ...
God Bless,
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I simply told her there are free programs out there to help problem drinkers and their families. ...
Nice reply Ruhig. I couldn't have said it better myself. Remember, we can carry the message but we can't carry the drunk. And you did just that, carried the message. Thanks.
It's always difficult to second guess the situation because we weren't there. I had a similar situation where a third party was talking about a colleague with a problem. In the converstation I let it be known that you usually can't help someone unless they want help, but I know a little bit about this and if they think it is serious enough, I could make a few suggestions.
They were interested so I told them about my AA membership and suggested (from Working with Others) that I would be happy to work with him to plant a few seeds, and respond with a 12 step call when the opportunity comes up. The process is well explained in the Big Book, I will sit quietly in the wings until the time comes when our prospect, probably after a bad session, will be open to talking to someone with a solution. Could take a while, but I can always work with someone else while I am waiting. In regards to anonymity in this situation, for me it would be a total breach of the principle of anonymity if it prevented me from offering help to a suffering alcoholic.
Enough said, it's not like you could tell the mother in law how to get her daughter's husband sober. This was an excellent example of where it may do no good to break your anonymity and might have harmed you professionally.
