Wow...I like your message Tasha; it was direct and to the point. I don't get fooled by those impulses either, same as you. It's just another reason why I 'choose' to remain sober today, that's all. Thanks...
-- Edited by Mr_David on Wednesday 30th of May 2012 02:53:18 PM
I passed out in our pop up camper in the front yard. It was noon, and my kids were playing video games next to me. Since the painter was 20 feet away painting our garage, and still needed to be paid, I must have thought that if I died, at least he would be here for my kids.
Ya, I know.
Ironically, the thought of loosing my kids after that occured, was what created my bottom. That, and now I see, EVERYTHING ELSE MY LIFE CONSISTED OF.
I started 90x90 immediately. I did whatever was told of me. I prayed.
If you handed me a glass of wine today, I would not smash it against the wall. I am not angry. I would not cry as I poured it down the drain. I am not sad. I would not lecture the pourer. I have nothing to prove. I just wouldn't take it. I have no desire to drink. I'm not afraid of it...
I'm repulsed by it.
Not myself.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
I think of it like cyanide. I don't loathe the stuff or find it to be evil, but I do know it would kill me to have a glass, so I choose not to and am grateful to my Higher Power that I have a life worth living. :)
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I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
The other day I saw a man outside the grocery store and he asked me for some money. I said all my moneys on debit and I walked passed him. By the time I was picking up my food, I thought, "you know what, thats a man with an addiction" and I recognized what he might be going through and I picked up a couple cheap food items to hand him as I walked out. I am by no means a rich man or someone with even a middle class life, but I do remember my lowest times and how grateful I am that I can at least live with a sane mind and a clean healthy lifestyle. I dont ever want to feel the things I did when I was out getting my drinks everyday and having all the handfuls of problems that go with it. When I gave him the food he said "Thankyou, I appreciate it, I really do, have a good day" and I was reminded how awful of a disease alcohol or any addiction really is. I am not rich, I am not someone who has made his dreams a reality, but I am saner than ever, I have a home I take much care of, I can go outside on a sunny day and walk for an hour or two, and I am thankful. Some of the greatest things in life come from good health and understanding of ones life. thanks for sharing.
-- Edited by Closer on Thursday 31st of May 2012 12:11:43 AM
My kids always bring up the days we've stopped along side the road and dumped their snack bag out in someones lap. They have such compassion for people without judgement at all... It's inspiring.
I usually bring it up at the dinner table when they don't finish their peas ; )
I drank myself to the point of not eating, or bothering with it I guess you could say. People brought me food, cooked it, practically fed it to me. I really shouldn't be alive. I woke up with that on my mind today (which is unusual). Just so grateful for the life I have, the choices I can make, the health that's left, the program and my HP.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
