Who here can Understand, Participate, and Control a Conversation?
(I am beginning to learn)
Who can sit in a room and understand when someones on drugs/drunk?, when someone is lying? Who can understand when someones your friend as opposed to someone else? Who can read between the lines and just simply sit and know exactly whats going on??
I am still not 100% there but I am amazing myself at 6 months of sobriety.
also, does anyone believe in Angels or something that watches over you when your? perhaps not at the best!?
I am beginning to spot people in my life. I am spotting all kinds of people. Its really interesting as opposed to the drunk I was a while ago...
I do believe that growing up with an alcoholic will over develop your sensitivity to peoples actions, intonations, and the like.
I agree. I grew up with an overly sensitive father figure who rather enjoyed his own company, and not his family. It felt like we were walking on eggshells most of the time, partly due to his bad decision making. We tried to help, but his ego wouldn't allow any such thing. So I had to learn certain mannerisms, like patience and tolerance, before I could navigate my surroundings effectively.
I use that same strategy today when dealing with others. I'm not a pushover, not in any real sense, but I can manage situations today more effectively, now that I've discovered that gift. And so can you. Remember, we might be new to A.A. and recovery, but were not new to the world. A.A. helps us get sober, and 'recovery' helps us live life on life's terms. So keep doing what you're doing Closer, okay. Life will happen sir, it certainly will, but our responses can change over time. So keep the momentum going, for now...okay. Its worth fighting for, it truly is.
-- Edited by Mr_David on Tuesday 29th of May 2012 02:14:58 PM
hmmm... I grew up with a responsible alcoholic. I tuned into his every move and sound. My sponsor says I'm still doing that with people. I'm trying to let people be what they are, and just focus on how I'm feeling.
Plus, we all have multiple personalities... I can't even figure all mine out, let alone keep a record of everyone else! I act different, in a meeting, with my "regular" girlfriends, after a meeting, with my family, in public... we all do it... hence the saying, treat your family at least as well as you'd treat a stranger on the street. There is just no point in trying to create order from all that chaos. (I still do it though, just trying to stop).
Also, I'm not sure if you're talking about psychic stuff here, and that is not me. I do believe that growing up with an alcoholic will over develop your sensitivity to peoples actions, intonations, and the like.
__________________
Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
My interpretation of your post is that your referring to getting more in tune with your instincts in dealings with others? Or perhaps seeing people with more clarity..without the foggy blur or booze to filter through. And yes, I definetly believe in "guardian angels". I feel as though given the insanity of my own upbringing and the various stupidly dangerous situations I've put myself in while drinking someone HAD to be looking out for me. I've always felt, even as a young child, the presence of something or someone spiritual that was kinda looking out for me. Whether this was a coping skill I developed to help me cope with an abusive situation I don't know, but I don't believe so. Faith is a powerful thing. I'm not crazy about organized religion, but I've always felt a strong relationship with God. Even when I was drinking.. Haha I was just pissed at him.
Who here can Understand, Participate, and Control a Conversation?
(I am beginning to learn)
Who can sit in a room and understand when someones on drugs/drunk?, when someone is lying? Who can understand when someones your friend as opposed to someone else? Who can read between the lines and just simply sit and know exactly whats going on??
I am still not 100% there but I am amazing myself at 6 months of sobriety.
also, does anyone believe in Angels or something that watches over you when your? perhaps not at the best!?
I am beginning to spot people in my life. I am spotting all kinds of people. Its really interesting as opposed to the drunk I was a while ago...
What are your thoughts?
Hey Closer, ...
The skills you mentioned, or asked about above, commonly grow as we stay away from 'mind altering' stuff ... When we drank, our abilities to do what you described disappeared because we took the 'edge off our awareness of things going on around us ... Now sober, we can 'tune' into things we never noticed before ... LOL
Example, ... you learn to control a conversation by asking qestions you know the answers to ... (Preachers do this a lot) ... and the other stuff is simply learning to read people ... I was a liar and a cheat and thief and many other things before I got sober ... this, in essence, gave me the ability to spot the very same traits in others as I learn to obsevre them and what they have to say ... (Sorry about this Tip, but Tipsy is a good example of someone you can 'see through' ...)
Angels? ... by all means we have angels watching over us ... They are just an extention of God's reach to protect us from harm (usually from ourselves) ... Have you ever done 'anything' that you could have, or should have, died from??? ... and yet you're still here!!! ... I rest my case!
God Bless, Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
The skills you mentioned, or asked about above, commonly grow as we stay away from 'mind altering' stuff ... When we drank, our abilities to do what you described disappeared because we took the 'edge off our awareness of things going on around us ... Now sober, we can 'tune' into things we never noticed before ... LOL
Example, ... you learn to control a conversation by asking qestions you know the answers to ... (Preachers do this a lot) ... and the other stuff is simply learning to read people ... I was a liar and a cheat and thief and many other things before I got sober ... this, in essence, gave me the ability to spot the very same traits in others as I learn to obsevre them and what they have to say ... (Sorry about this Tip, but Tipsy is a good example of someone you can 'see through' ...)
Angels? ... by all means we have angels watching over us ... They are just an extention of God's reach to protect us from harm (usually from ourselves) ... Have you ever done 'anything' that you could have, or should have, died from??? ... and yet you're still here!!! ... I rest my case!
God Bless, Pappy
Thats what Im noticing. Its amazing to see the difference we have when weve been sober for some time. I drank for a lot of years and the sanity I had was PITIFUL! I crashed around every stupid place with a bottle of liquor in my hand and Im suprised Im not dead or on the street!
I like your point about asking questions in order to control a conversation..I do that a lot without even thinking, and its amazing how many people are just telling you to directly walk off a bridge or whatever...something always guided me to the safe place though...
I do believe that growing up with an alcoholic will over develop your sensitivity to peoples actions, intonations, and the like.
I agree. I grew up with an overly sensitive father figure who rather enjoyed his own company, and not his family. It felt like we were walking on eggshells most of the time, partly due to his bad decision making. We tried to help, but his ego wouldn't allow any such thing. So I had to learn certain mannerisms, like patience and tolerance, before I could navigate my surroundings effectively.
I use that same strategy today when dealing with others. I'm not a pushover, not in any real sense, but I can manage situations today more effectively, now that I've discovered that gift. And so can you. Remember, we might be new to A.A. and recovery, but were not new to the world. A.A. helps us get sober, and 'recovery' helps us live life on life's terms. So keep doing what you're doing Closer, okay. Life will happen sir, it certainly will, but our responses can change over time. So keep the momentum going, for now...okay. Its worth fighting for, it truly is.
-- Edited by Mr_David on Tuesday 29th of May 2012 02:14:58 PM
Thanks for sharing that, I grew up in an Alcoholic household too and had the same situation, I dont resent my father cause Iver learned its toxic to hate your family, but sometimes I feel like a psychopath who has to condemn himself to a quiet place...And I can still hear them complain
Thanks for sharing that Mr. David, I grew up in an Alcoholic household too and had the same situation, I dont resent my father cause Iver learned its toxic to hate your family, but sometimes I feel like a psychopath who has to condemn himself to a quiet place...And I can still hear them complain
Yeah, I hear you. It's not easy getting over that hurdle, but look where you are now Closer. You're sober today and a lot healthier than your past ever was, so be proud of that, okay. The best is yet to come, it truly is, but only if we remain sober, so please do. Welcome again Closer, we missed you, we really did.
-- Edited by Mr_David on Wednesday 30th of May 2012 11:48:07 PM
I belive its not our resposibility to judge wh is lying or not,I believe God takes care of the less fortunate ones whom live in lies,pretend to be your friends,as well as the ones whom judges others.......I believe my children and husband,dad ,grandparents or my angels watching over me from above ,I believe God put this fellowship and my sponsor in my live to guide me to as well as through a better way of life so I can learn my calling and I DO HAVE ONE....God Bless you,n thank you we need to be reminded once in a while so we dont stray...
