Yeah, I hear you Ruhig. Expressing ourselves in a more congenial way isn't easy, especially in the beginning. I had to work on myself first before I could work on those other glaring issues, like anger. My sponsor was keen on having me write things down, like 'who' am I angry with and 'why'. The 'who' part seemed easy enough, but when it came to the 'why', well, it wasn't as such. The reason why I was so angry had a lot to do with 'me' and not so much the other person. I was angry with myself mostly and what I'd become. When I finally discovered the horrible truth behind my alcoholism, I felt aghast. I was disturbed with the image of my alcoholic self, plain and simple. What was really disturbing though was my lack of self-control. I became so disgusted with myself that I started to blame others for my misery. That was until my sponsor pointed out the obvious. His reply, "you have no one to blame but yourself". How true. Remember, "When were deeply disturbed no matter what the cause there's something wrong with us". The 'us' or 'me' part is what I need to work on every day, same as you. The key to my success since has a lot to do today with step 10 and my own inventory taking, not someone else's. Only then can I discover the real reason behind my anger. I hope this helps.
-- Edited by Mr_David on Tuesday 29th of May 2012 02:21:59 AM
So, I've been searching thru posts on aa and aa related topics. And making a neophytes attempt at prayer/meditation. (super impose image of 2nd grader attempting to do calculus) I walked thru some nature trails today, Ive been developing a warm up/stretch/run routine, and ran in barefeet today. And then it occured to me. Maybe, if I stick with my program, and pick up a hobby or two, and work on developing a relationship with hp, maybe hp will show me I can express my anger in a healthier way. [ps, I found out I love running]
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sober: showing no excessive or extreme qualities of fancy, emotion, or prejudice
So, I've been searching thru posts on aa and aa related topics. And making a neophytes attempt at prayer/meditation. (super impose image of 2nd grader attempting to do calculus) I walked thru some nature trails today, Ive been developing a warm up/stretch/run routine, and ran in barefeet today. And then it occured to me. Maybe, if I stick with my program, and pick up a hobby or two, and work on developing a relationship with hp, maybe hp will show me I can express my anger in a healthier way. [ps, I found out I love running]
Hello Ruhig, ...
A long time ago when I first tried AA ... I had a sponsor tell me something that took me years to understand ... (and a lot of 'coming back') ... He said: When you know that you know, you'll never know ... But when you start doing the things we tell you to do and not to do, then you'll begin to know that you don't know ... I said, Hell, you're crazy! ... He said, I know ...
I was really struggling with all this 'higher power' and praying talk in AA ... My sponsor told me when I went home that night, that I was to get on my knees and pray to God, thanking Him for the day ... I said I wasn't going to do it ... I didn't believe in it or that it would do any good, I hate you, I hate the group, I hate AA, SO, I wasn't going to be a hypocrite ...
He said doesn't make any difference what-so-ever and what I thought did not matter ... He said that it's the ACTION you're taking, that you don't know you're taking, that's going to cause all these things to happen, that you had no idea was going to happen ... and once all the things happen that you had no idea was going to happen, then what you think needs to happen, will never need to happen ... then it's going to happen over there ... I said what's going to happen over there ... He said 'We don't know, but it ALWAYS happens' ... I said well I understood all that for God's sake, heehee ...
He told me God was not going to depend on me for my relationship with Him ... He told me God would take care of that all by Himself ... So re-read pgs. 86 & 87 in the BB and follow the suggestions ... and at some point, it's going to happen ... and you'll be amazed at what changes will come about, in you ...
Pg. 84 "Are these extravagant promises? ... We think not, they are being fulfilled among us ..... sometimes QUICKLY ..... sometmes SLOWLY. They will always materilize if we work for them ..."
God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Thanks for sharing Ruhig. Prayer and meditation is a process that's still developing for me. It's seems to be different for everyone. I like what Pappy stated: it's the ACTION that delivers the results. Not necessarily the words in the exchange. God knows where you're at and what you need. He will provide as long as you put the foot work in. It's in the trying that we succeed in The Program.
I became a runner in The Program. Never ran before and hated it when I had too. Shin splits, sore knees etc.......... I now run several times a week. It clears my head and in a way is meditating. So I consider it good for my physical, emotional and spiritual health.
You guys can pound your joints into saw dust, I do my laps in the swimming pool.
- LOL Dean. I would love to swim. Very easy on the joints they say. One problem; I sink. I've never been able to swim. My kids can swim better than I.... That's good, I never know when I may need them to save my *ss!
I use to live across from the beach and I found that running in the water along the shore line was a stress anger reliever as well as a way to stroll thru gods creation at a fast pace.......
