Faster and faster, I pedal along... push it up the big hill, my legs burning, then I finally reach the top, throw my hands up and yell "Weeeee" as I soar down effortlessly, my hat blows off in the wind.
Towards the bottom I start to think about what's ahead, and when I open my eyes, I see it's another, even bigger hill. I wonder if I can make it up another one, my legs are pretty tired from the last one, and I didn't get much of a break.
I start to think of how much work it is to have just a few moments of bliss.
I climb another one. This time, as I'm going down, I come to a long straight stretch at the bottom, and I just pedal along for a while comfortably, but soon, another hill is on the path, and I'm really tired now. I'm not 13, I'm 33, and I'm out of shape. I haven't really tried to do anything like this in so many years.
I push on to make it over the next hill, my bike a little wobbly as I pedal so slowly up the hill I'm hardly keeping my balance. I get to the top. I stop. I just want to stay at the top now, the moments of bliss aren't seeming worth it. I stand there, and enjoy how beautiful things look from this veiwpoint, at this moment. My head clears, and then I begin to wonder how beautiful things will look from even higher, and off I go.
-- Edited by justadrunk on Monday 28th of May 2012 09:32:22 AM
-- Edited by justadrunk on Monday 28th of May 2012 09:32:58 AM
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
God bless you, Tasha. glad you are here. at 58 i am content to enjoy the beauty of your journey through your eyes. my goals and growth are just as exciting, but, admittedly come at a much slower pace. so glad you share your heart with us. we are staying sober together understanding we only 'have' today. there are no more coulda woulda shouldas to mope over, just conquer the next freaking hill the best we can and enjoy the exertion and the view. it isn't the destination, it is the journey that counts. keep coming back. love you, sheila/jj
I start to think of how much work it is to have just a few moments of bliss.
This resonated with me in probably a different context than you meant it but...
How much work it became to escape into the bottle and get the illusion of bliss. It is easier for me to forgo the moments of escape and enjoy the moments without alcohol.
I start to think of how much work it is to have just a few moments of bliss.
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Angell wrote:
How much work it became to escape into the bottle and get the illusion of bliss. It is easier for me to forgo the moments of escape and enjoy the moments without alcohol.
Angell you helped me make a connection here. I'm always pounding my keyboard about getting out into the NOW! Taking a walk early in the morning to hear the birds sing and watch other animals come out and do they're thing. A walk through the woods are down by a lake. By I never thought of it as "moments of escape and enjoy the moments without alcohol." We all need to escape what's between our ears with a trip to reality, which would feel like "La La" land compared to the usual self centered crap going on in our head.
Great stuff Tasha. I can remember my first real test in sobriety. The hill I had to climb seemed so insurmountable, but the payoff was huge. Thanks for reminding me of that.
