During the first 60 days, I've experienced horror, delight, tears of joy, tears of sorrow. Sleepless nights, tantrums and calmness. Some days the air smells so sweet. Others It smells like goat poop. Literally. Some days I was crawling in it. Literally.
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~Congrats on 60 days dear. Some days are better than others, but no day would be complete without the blessing of another day sober. And you, dear, have achieved that mark for 60 straight days. So be proud of that, okay. ~
justadrunk wrote:
I understand now about the head needing to clear. The fact that it takes a couple months. I thought it was clear the second I stopped sweating and shaking out the booze. Nope. It wasn't. I had a feeling you guys would be right. Again. You were.
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~It took me over 2 years before that fog started to lift, but I never gave up hope, just like you. Now, you can work on yourself and your next sober step Tasha, just like us. ~
justadrunk wrote:
I didn't believe there could be such a thing as a spiritual awakening. That was only for those religious types that wore "what would Jesus do" bracelets. Not me. But I know now we are not alone.
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~You can rest knowing this spiritual awakening -you've just talked about, does exist -now that you've experienced one yourself. The next phase of that development is truly up to us...onward. ~
justadrunk wrote:
I didn't think I would ever be a calm, cool and collected mother, for an entire 24 hours. I accomplished that today. I didn't yell for 24 hrs. I was not perfect, I was still selfish in a lot of ways, but my kids never covered their ears due to me projecting a voice at them that could break glass.
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You are a good mother Tasha, regardless. Who says mothers are perfect anyway, because they're not. There's a nurturing phase, a guidance phase and then there's the 'I learned what not to do next time' phase, so give yourself some time to adjust, okay.
justadrunk wrote:
I didn't believe I would ever feel worthy of love... and I'm starting to. I believe my husband loves me for me, for the first time in our marriage. I believe I could shave my head, have no boobs, yank out my teeth, and still be loved. I believe there is something inside of me worth loving... and He has shown me that.
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Okay, the "I believe I could shave my head, have no boobs, yank out my teeth, and still be loved" part was a bit much even for me, but I get where you're coming from -especially the shave your head part (I'm bald by the way). There's something inside all of us the wants to be loved and you dear have figured that out...it's you.
justadrunk wrote:
I have a life today I couldn't have imagined ever possible, and in such a short time. Perfect and wonderful every moment? OH - HELL NO! Something I couldn't have imgained possible 2 months ago though.
All I really had to do was keep an open mind, and keep going back.
You're so right dear. You should never confuse a good life with a carefree one, but it does make for an interesting start to a day, doesn't it Tasha? Life, as we know it, is much more manageable today now that we're sober; wouldn't you agree dear? And for all it's worth Tasha, your posts are such a delight to read, they really are. This forum, Tasha, is a lot more brighter, a tab bit livelier and lot less lonely now that you're around -it really is.So for that and everything else you do, we say...thank you. Congrats on your 60 days Tasha, and welcome dear to day 61.
~God bless~
-- Edited by Mr_David on Friday 25th of May 2012 02:13:50 AM
During the first 60 days, I've experienced horror, delight, tears of joy, tears of sorrow. Sleepless nights, tantrums and calmness. Some days the air smells so sweet. Others It smells like goat poop. Literally. Some days I was crawling in it. Literally.
I understand now about the head needing to clear. The fact that it takes a couple months. I thought it was clear the second I stopped sweating and shaking out the booze. Nope. It wasn't. I had a feeling you guys would be right. Again. You were.
I didn't believe there could be such a thing as a spiritual awakening. That was only for those religious types that wore "what would Jesus do" bracelets. Not me. But I know now we are not alone.
I didn't think I would ever be a calm, cool and collected mother, for an entire 24 hours. I accomplished that today. I didn't yell for 24 hrs. I was not perfect, I was still selfish in a lot of ways, but my kids never covered their ears due to me projecting a voice at them that could break glass.
I didn't believe I would ever feel worthy of love... and I'm starting to. I believe my husband loves me for me, for the first time in our marriage. I believe I could shave my head, have no boobs, yank out my teeth, and still be loved. I believe there is something inside of me worth loving... and He has shown me that.
I have a life today I couldn't have imagined ever possible, and in such a short time. Perfect and wonderful every moment? OH - HELL NO! Something I couldn't have imgained possible 2 months ago though.
All I really had to do was keep an open mind, and keep going back.
Oh - and if you hadn't done the same, I'd probably be dead. So thanks.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
There is much to learn 'Grasshopper' ... so cherish these moments of clarity when they come ... Please remember that this is a program of 'spiritual progress' ... and in the book of life, which has many 'chapters', you have just finished one chapter ... WELL DONE ...
The spiritual tools you are in the process of collecting is just the beginning ... Your tool box will need more tools as you journey toward your next station in life ... Seek and ye shall find ... Always keep your eyes open for opportunities to learn and be of help to others ... Never ever get overconfident ... Alcohol is a subtle foe, lurking around every corner ... stick around for a while and make sure you collect all the tools your spiritual 'toolbox' will need ...
Oh, and just so you know ... life and recovery are full of 'spiritual awakenings' ... one miracle usually leads to another, and another, and another ...
May God's Grace continue to Bless you and your family, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
And things will keep getting better, more interesting and more real. Somebody (rehab? doc? someone qualified anyway) once told that the real clear head comes at about one month per year of abuse. I'm thereabouts but each week I look back and see that I've progressed touch from the last. It's a nice feeling. But then even when that times comes and goes I've still got the life time spiritual journey to look forward to. Pretty cool, huh?
Congrats Tasha, more than just another saying but the beginning of LIFE IN RECOVERY..Lost dreams awaken and new possibilities arise!!Stay in the solution,keep giving back and more is always revealed......
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Congrats to you, Tasha! You really do deserve the best and it brings my heart joy to watch you discovering that one day at a time. :)
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I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
Congrats !! 2 months sober..that kicks ass. It's truly inspiring as a newer member (9 days sober today. . I havent been sober that long since I was 14..for real haha) to read old posts and see other peoples progression. You know that you have a family who loves and supports you unconditionally and that's all one could ask for or want. Congrats again:)
