Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions. (It says so in Tradition 12 right?)

The Traditions are the foundation of AA.

Therefore, Anonymity is the Spiritual Foundation of AA, now the way that was explained to me, was anonymity evolved for AA as much as it evolves for each of us personally, the first few years I was super uptight about my "anonymity" (don't let anyone know I am a drunk for God's sakes!!) when in fact before I got sober everyone -knew- I was a drunk because I was drunk all the time.

My fall from grace and bottom was pretty spectacular and public, therefore, when I slowly reappeared, re-instated at the Fire Dept, back with my girl, tending bar for the Fire Chief, people noticed...they started bringing me their children, their husbands, their wives, dozens of people approached me and asked how I did it, and asked me for help I put young men up on my couch, and those people in turn helped literally hundreds, I ran into an old sponsee a few years ago and he called me "The AA Pied Piper of West Marin", and he was asking me "Don't you realize how many hundreds of lives you touched? How many people you helped?"

Anonymity means we help people and don't look for or ask for recognition, a common exercise to learn humility and anonymity is to do something helpful or nice for a different person for 30 days and if -anyone- finds out, it doesn't count.

That exercise nearly broke my brain, I had NO clue of how much I did for recognition, how I used honesty and integrity and being nice to others as tools for manipulation, that exercise taught me that virtue is it's own reward, because when virtue gets "gifts" or "strings" attached, even when we don't even realize we are doing it, it's no longer virtue, it's something else...manipulation...or...playing God...or...being selfish and self centered.

After a few years most of us stop hiding, we don't shout it from the rooftops, like dean says, we wear it loosely, it gets dropped in conversation, and people come to us for help, even now, being super low key I get 2-3 people a year asking me for help, I have a person I am working with on day 7 now actually...we aren't so anonymous people can't find us.

Pythonpappy wrote:

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Anonymity ?

Wow Ruhig, ... Big word ... Huge meaning!!!

Anonymity is a lot like spirituality ... it's a personal thing which can take on different meanings at different stages in our lives, or in our sobriety ... With reference to our sobriety only ... anonymity, especially early in our sobriety, should be the order of the day ... we should not advertise the fact that we are alcoholics ... nor should we deny it ... Mostly it is to help protect those we associate with in our recovery, from a preconceived idea from their friends and associates(family and co-workers) that may carry a bad stigma on anyone being labeled an alcoholic ... If we are in 'recovery', there is absolutely nothing to gain by letting others know we have a problem with alcohol ... (excepting our doctors of course) ...

Some of us do, in fact, start openly admitting we are alcoholics and flaunt that fact that we haven't had a drink in years ... kinda' as a 'badge of courage' thingy ... this of course, is unhealthy ... and the sobriety of those who do that usually doesn't last too long ...

Typically, anonymity means more, or is more important rather, to younger types ... those with a long time ahead of them ... Not so much with those like me or Dean, whose time is starting to run short, HeeHee (sorry Dean, couldn't hep it) ... A lot depends too on our community status and how others regard our positions in the community ... We should not, for instance, mention that we are members of AA because then we may be held to a 'higher' standard and if we were to ever fail(relapse), then AA would suffer the stigma of 'not working' ... The 'Good Book' as Dr. Bob called it, says that we should not let our 'right hand' know what our 'left hand' is doing ... and that when we give alms, or help others, it is more rewarding to do so anonymously, AND that when we 'pray' we should do so in private, for it is the matters of our heart and personal between us and God, and not anyone else's business ...

As far as me and my anonymity? ... I'm a lot like Dean said ... I wear mine pretty loosely ... It really doesn't matter to me anymore who knows about my alcoholism, to me ... I have had doors open to allow me to assist and help others by being open about my disease ... and when asked, I say I haven't found it necessary to take a drink in a while ... but that I haven't found a reason to drink today was the most important thing for me ... Okay, I'm getting diarrhea of the mouth ... So I'll close now ... Hope this helped in some small way ... (Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions ....)

God Bless,
Pappy

-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Tuesday 22nd of May 2012 10:34:19 PM

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 I really like what you had to say Pappy, except can you do me a favor? You write "Some of us do, in fact, start openly admitting we are alcoholics and flaunt that fact that we haven't had a drink in years ... kinda' as a 'badge of courage' thingy ... this of course, is unhealthy ... and the sobriety of those who do that usually doesn't last too long ..."

can you show me any cases of this happening? Even one? With so many celebrities out there, there are bound to be hundreds of cases where this happened, I personally have -never- seen this happen, or even heard of this happening, I don't mean the Darryl Strawberries or the Lindsay Lohans, but guys and girls with good solid sobriety using their celebrity status to selflessly help others...I can give you three examples (with links) of people who have done so and remain sober. I was wondering, can you show me where people with long term sobriety announced they were sober and promptly drank?

 

Example 1: Craig Ferguson

This is a wonderful "pitch", I -really- recomend watching it, he speaks truth.

Example 2: Robin Williams (I've actually met him a -bunch- of times "doing the deal", super good guy)

Example 3: Roger Ebert

http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2009/08/my_name_is_roger_and_im_an_alc.html

 

In August 1979, I took my last drink. It was about four o'clock on a Saturday afternoon, the hot sun streaming through the windows of my little carriage house on Dickens. I put a glass of scotch and soda down on the living room table, went to bed, and pulled the blankets over my head. I couldn't take it any more.

On Monday I went to visit wise old Dr. Jakob Schlichter. I had been seeing him for a year, telling him I thought I might be drinking too much. He agreed, and advised me to go to "A.A.A," which is what he called it. Sounded like a place where they taught you to drink and drive. I said I didn't need to go to any meetings. I would stop drinking on my own. He told me to go ahead and try, and check back with him every month.

The problem with using will power, for me, was that it lasted only until my will persuaded me I could take another drink. At about this time I was reading The Art of Eating, by M. F. K. Fisher, who wrote: "One martini is just right. Two martinis are too many. Three martinis are never enough." The problem with making resolutions is that you're sober when you make the first one, have had a drink when you make the second one, and so on. I've also heard, You take the first drink. The second drink takes itself.That was my problem. I found it difficult, once I started, to stop after one or two. If I could, I would continue until I decided I was finished, which was usually some hours later

 

So Pappy, maybe you can help me, I do tell people I am a sober alcoholic, and I tell people pretty freely, and many people come to me for help, but maybe you can point out how it makes me unhealthy and how it will lead to my imminent relapse?

I don't announce it at the level of Press, radio or film, although last I checked everyone knows Bill Wilson's name, Dr Bob's name, many of the early members, Chuck Chamberlain etc. Clarence Snyder etc ad nauseum, perhaps you can point me in the right direction how this behavior is unhealthy and leads to relapse. Thanks in advance.

 

-- Edited by LinBabaAgo-go on Wednesday 23rd of May 2012 01:03:27 AM

I wear it pretty loosely, if at all. My classmates knew before I did, and they're glad that I'm sober now. I'm self employed (entire sobriety except 1 year) so my "Boss" is very aware lol. My family is my mother (36 years sober) and my wife's family all know (19 years that I've been with them). Most of them drink regularly so the last thing that they want to do is ask me about sobriety lol. I think nothing of telling my customers (or anyone else) that I'm 22 years sober. It always seems to bring a smile to their face, and everyone knows or has a family member who is a drunk. It's not a mystery to anyone what someone with a drinking problem looks like and the problems it brings to their family etc... What is does do is make me available to help someone. Most of the folks that I've "helped" are the family members who just are beside themselves not knowing what to do. I'm digressing now. Great topic.

"What is does do is make me available to help someone."

period

Mahalo Dean.

Great topic and share from everyone.  It means less to me personally as I recovered from a hope state of mind, body and spirit.  Today, I have no issue discussing I'm an alcoholic and in a 12-step program of recovery and maintenance.  To the right audience.  That meaning it's usually a response to someone inquiring about the diesase. 

My family knew what I was and know what I'm doing about it.  They see the change.  I don't have to talk much about it. 

I like this statement: 

"What it does do is make me available to help someone."

Sounds like our primary purpose.  To stay sober and help another Alcoholic recover from Alcoholism. 

I wear it loosly as well. I get to talk to lots of people about alcoholism and what AA is really suposed to be about as a result. As a result of having had a spiritual awakining by taking and living in the steps and traditions i am not as conserned with my self as i once was but have changed to careing about others. So if what dr bob said was true and i believe it is. he said that AA boils down to love and service. Anonymity becomes more about me having respect for you and for the fellowship that saved my ass and your ass. I also believe people can be too anonymous inside of AA. And that should not be either. I mean, there are three guys named chris where i go to meetngs. Known all three for ten years or so and if i needed to talk to one of them i would either have to keep coming to meetings till they showed up ( i would forget what i.wanted to talk to them about by then ) or ask someone where was bald headed chris or biker chris was and how i could get a hold of them. If i knew there last names, it would be a whole lot easyer. Eddy H was in the hospital one time and a few of us went to visit him. When we got to the info desk we asked to see Eddy H. No one could find him. No one knew his last name. We never got to see Eddy H again. I guess just like anything else that can be good, we alkies can twist it out of shape. AA makes it so my life is ok wheather it is or it isnt , kinda like alcohol did when it worked. Such a deal. I think love and service is a hell of a deal for following a few simple rules for a hope to die alcoholic like me....

Wonderful posts in this thread with which I whole heartedly agree. Like others have said I am not hung up on personal anonymity, being too anonymous could deny another alcoholic the help they need. And I certainly do not want to be anonymous within AA for the same reason. How can I help if I can't be found? Dr Bob had something to say on this.

In terms of the tradition on personal anonymity at the level of press, tv etc, I feel it is not only any reflection on AA as a whole that might come from any public pronouncements, but, equally important and perhaps more damaging would be the cult of celebrity, were it to penetrate our fellowship. Anonymity is the great leveller that preserves equaltiy in our fellowship.

God bless,
Mike H.

This is a great discussion, and I also agree with the Dr Bob quote, but the funny thing is 99% of the "flaunting of sobriety" I see in the Program is by pulpit pounding book thumpers that say "my way or the highway" when in fact the BB says exactly the opposite, it says "this is what worked -for us-"

The "cult of celebrity" that has actually developed in AA which I personally view as unhealthy is the worship of "time served" with people getting their personal value by how much time they have, it's kind of gross and in many cases it's people getting unhealthy validation from outside they couldn't get from inside, you see it all the time, the snide "how much do YOU have?" where the person with more time is obviously "the better human being" and is right simply by being sober longer. It's gross, and it's the cult of celebrity I think Bob was referring to.

Ego is dangerous to sobriety no matter what hat it wears, and the hat I see it wearing most often in AA is by the Bible thumping BB thumpers that think they know it all, which is ironic, because I am sure that's how I come across here in this venue, but the truth be told those guys stay sober forever (I know because I have had to endure decades of their pompous tirades) it's just they are miserable human beings.

I think I like the Gonee approach, who personifies love and service, who's entire family life revolves around helping others, first by applying it in his home then reaching out to others, who's entire life is a testament to the program.

 

I think ultimately it comes down to "Ego is dangerous to sobriety no matter what hat it wears"

Great posts guys. Eye opening and I guess this is where balance takes place.... Too anonymous, no message carried. Not anonymous enough, message lost. Thanks guys!!!