Hello Colleen and welcome to MIP! Yup stopping was most likely something WE   all could do but the stopping became less frequent and staying stopped was the monster...Our program does offer a "solution" and it begins with admission,surrender and a willingness to do whatever it takes. Its not a magic bullet and takes daily work through the application of our STEPS,worked with a sponsor and applied in all our affairs guided by a Power greater than ourselves,  that  Power can be whatever keeps you from that first drink.You have nothing to lose and can always refund your misery at any time .For US, abstinence must come first but there is much more to do for recovery,the physical part of our illness,the compulsive use of alcohol and our inability to stop once were fired up.The mental aspect,the overpowering obsession,desire to use even when we know it is destroying our lives and all around us.The spiritual part,the total self centeredness that permeates all areas of our lives is where the work has to head.WE  always suggest the same things,make a meeting listen to learn and learn to listen,be honest ,openminded and willing to do 'WHATEVER IT TAKES' and work toward getting into the solution..Hope to hear back how your first meeting went.There is some info and a site to click few messages back(ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WEBSITE YOU CAN READ SOME PAMPHLETS(ip-1,2,3 etc.) ON WHAT TO EXPECT AT A MEETING)Give yourself a break,WE are sure you could use it peace......