I was feelin really bad today. I started the day off with coffee w my sponsor(2 hours). Went to an interview. Picked up a friend and hit a meeting. Went back to my sponsor(30 minutes) Went home and showered. Went back to my sponsors(2 hours). Came back home.
We get out of our heads by listening to other people, right? Their good and bad.
But now I'm feeling like a clingy sponsee, and I never wanted to be that kid that needs their sponsor available 24/7.
Did I do the right thing, or should I have handled it differently?
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sober: showing no excessive or extreme qualities of fancy, emotion, or prejudice
You just continue to do whatever it is that is helping you to not drink today ... This period in your sobriety will pass ... Cling to your sponsor as much as needed ... his commitment to you should include being available 24/7 for a while, at least until you get your 'sea legs' .... YES ... You most definitely did the right thing, if it kept you from having a drink today ...
Tomorrow is a new day and it will take care of itself ..
God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Thanks pappy. After this post I read the sponsorship pamphlet. Funny how sometimes what they say can feel sufficiently non-committal/ambiguous.
I want her to like me, I don't want to be a pain.
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sober: showing no excessive or extreme qualities of fancy, emotion, or prejudice
Pardon me for being blunt ... the first 90 days are a 'b.tch' to deal with ... Not only are we cutting off the flow of alcohol, we are dealing with changing health issues, both mental and physical ... I just read where one lady had a 'miscarriage' ... WOW, what a thing to have to deal with right now ... SO ... ... knowing that drinking or using is a 'fatal progression' ... you need to call your sponsor ANYTIME you feel you are about to lose it and go drink ... 24/7 ... Just make sure you're not doing the ole 'Chicken Little' thingy ... ONLY call after hours, if you're really about to do something stupid ...
Sponsors have already been through what you're going through and will understand ... if not, try a different sponsor ... 1st 90 days is monumental ... (not all sponsors are created equal)
Take Care and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I had a great sponsor like yours. He literally saved my life by always being available and spending large amounts of time with me, just like your sponsor. He had an amazing sobriety and showed me the rewards that come through helping others. Now I try to follow his example and I find it incredibly rewarding. I am sure your sponsor does too.
My sponsors spent many hours helping me when I needed it the most. Today I pay back by being a sponsor my self to those in need. Each squares his debt by helping others. So just use your sponsor as much as you need to, and when your turn comes just pass it on. In fact my turn came just about a month into sobriety. Newcomers used to "cling" to me and I had to "cling" to my sponsor. It was like a pyramid system and many were helped.
You did the right thing! You need Sponsorship and they need you. You won't realized that until your on the other side of the equation. I to used to think I was being a pain and a burden. Now I help others and get the benefit from that. The Program is all about 1 Alcoholic helping another. Sometimes we have to lean hard on others(Sponsors included) to get through rough spots. It's o.k. That's why they're there. We all learn and grow from it.
I try to pass on what my Sponsor and The Program has so freely given me. It's my way of being responsible to my recovery and The Program. It's the least I can do for the life it's given me.
Thanks for your input, all of you :)
last night I missed a call from my sponsor, her neighbor died. I called her and left a message when I checked my phone at 7am, texted her at eleven this morning. She hasn't gotten back to me. It's 4, now. I feel like a douche but prayed for her after my 3rd step epiphany today (yay for epiphanies!!!!)
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sober: showing no excessive or extreme qualities of fancy, emotion, or prejudice
In the past I always feared becoming a clingy needy sponsee. I wouldn't call and check in daily. I wouldn't call if I was struggling or feeling like shit, scared, confused, etc. Not surprisingly, in retrospect, all that not calling and not wanting to come across as clingy or needy meant that I didn't call when I felt like drinking...so I just drank. This time I'm going to do my best to let go of my ego and not worry about appearances. Because that's all it is really, ego.
I to used to think I was being a pain and a burden. Now I help others and get the benefit from that. The Program is all about 1 Alcoholic helping another. Sometimes we have to lean hard on others(Sponsors included) to get through rough spots. It's o.k. That's why they're there. We all learn and grow from it.