Yesterday marked one year since I have taken a drink. It still seems amazing to me that I have found a program that has shown me how that is possible after so very many years of crashing and burning while trying to do it my way.
I am filled with joy knowing a Higher Power is in control now and that I am developing a close relationship with Him that allows me to do what I need to do and allows Him to do what He does best.
I am filled with humility in knowing I am like so many others that struggle with this disease, I can soar to the great heights like many in recovery have seen or I can forget who I am and fool myself into thinking I am different and none of this applies to me. I am no better or no worse than anybody else and yet am as special as each of you are.
I am filled with the excitement of what is yet to come. I practice this program one day at a time but I still see a future full of learning, growing, sharing, giving and loving. There is something to live for now. I have a purpose and it isn't based on momentary satisfactions or running from pain. It is based on aligning my will with One who sees the whole picture while I am only able to sneak peeks through a pinhole.
I am filled with gratitude from the tips of my hair to the nails on my toes. By the grace of God I am now able to accept help from those who know the solution to my disease. I have the willingness to take actions that move me in the right direction. I have a fellowship of wisdom to draw from and am able to give back to in return. I have so much more than I ever even knew to want.
I went to AA to quit drinking. By working the steps I had that obsession lifted from me and if I stay spiritually fit I don't have to drink today. That's a miracle I get to wake up to every single day. There don't seem to be enough words, or at least the right ones, to convey how powerful and how meaningful that truly is.
For 365 days I have taken the advice of those who have gone before me. I have learned to listen to my Higher Power and how to turn down the voice of my disease. Most days it is barely a whisper and yet I know it is still there, ready to scream out and try to convince me just one wouldn't hurt. God's voice is strong and clear though and I am hearing it more and more each day.
Just for today I will not drink. I will be open to the miracle. I will listen more and talk less. I will remember the One who runs the show. I will judge less and love more.
Just for today...
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I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
I celebrate both on the 9th, so one year without a drink and eight months without pot as of yesterday. Best choice I ever made was deciding to work an honest program and focus on healthy sobriety and not just sodryity...lol.
Thanks for kind words and well wishes above. :)
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I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
No synthetic happiness at all Vixen? It's an inside job huh? Good for you and your work and passing it on to others will show that it works there too. ((((hugs))))
Excellent! Congrats!!!!! The best thing about 1 year is that you know now that no holiday, no birthday....no specific day of the year has the power to make you drink!
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Big thanks to you all for taking the time to read and comment. I don't think it is a coincidence that I haven't had a drink in a year and I have been a member here at MIP for a year. My online fellowship has been such an awesome part of my program and I appreciate this community of people so very much. :)
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I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
