Im so annoyed at myself. I keep telling myself i am going to make a meeting. But... [insert justification here].
Reading through lit, my brain telling me i've got down my first 3 and I'm ready for the 4 step.
Tell me ruhig, just how honest are you if when asked you'll claim 3 years, instead of just saying that you honestly don't know which date is your actual clean date?
How willing are you when you can't just get up off your socially awkward butt and go to a meeting?
OMG RUHIG JUST STFU AND GO FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND PEOPLE!!!!!!
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sober: showing no excessive or extreme qualities of fancy, emotion, or prejudice
If it help we have all been dishonest for years until we understood the AA program. :} My head was messed up and I needed to turn my stinking thinking around.
The more meetings you get to,the more people you introduce your self to the more people can help you :}
Its easy when you understand how,and things just get better. :}
Thanks Polly.
I went to an aa meet right after this post. And I shared about that woman who I posted about earlier and how she died infront of me.
Apparently even though it was as short as I could make it, alot of people responded to my share. And I went and introduced myself to another chick.
Tomorrow is a womans meeting I enjoyed. I'm going to that one too. We'll see.
Thanks.
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sober: showing no excessive or extreme qualities of fancy, emotion, or prejudice
I have the same problem with making excuses as to why I can't make a meeting (not being able to drive makes an easy out) but I've found every time I hit a meeting I feel great afterwords. I always have the same awkward dread of being around people, but goddmmit, it helps.
This disease will put anything it can between it and anything that can help you. It doesn't want you at meetings. It likes to have you all to itself. The meetings you make excuses to skip are probably the ones that you need the most.
Hi Ruhiq, I don't know my actual dry date. I never took note because I didn't think it would work. My sponsor told me when I was three months sober, so we just worked back from that. It doesn't matter that much. Sometimes we confuse honesty with accuracy.
Like you, I think I came in with the first two steps done, and after a relatively short time aournd the meetings, and my sponsor, I began to see the vital importance of the rest of the steps and at the same time felt the need to get on with it. Feeling the need was the first spiritual experience, a reversal of attitude - my will = avoid painful looking steps. God's will = take the steps. First three steps were a bit like this:
1) Beaten? yep! 2) Am I willing to believe a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity? Yep, my AA group has more power than me! 3) Turn my will and my life over? Yep, I will follow the instructions from the book as given by the group and my sponsor, no argument, no challenge!
The first thing I picked up was prayer, and amost immediately I felt the need to tackle the 4th step, which is funny because that is how the Big book describes the process, i.e the 3rd is at once followed by the 4th. So I think you are on the right track.
Just one qualifying note, I had managed to reduce my IQ to about my shoe size, so I had little understanding of what I was doing. This apparent handicap turned out to be a non-issue as the understanding came later, with experience. Being stupid is not a bar to recovery I have found. Procrastinating on the steps can be fatal by the same token.
Here's an annoying quote: "If you are thinking about going to an AA meeting. Go to an AA meeting and then think about it." The saying obviously is there for a reason. We all need smart feet and to just get to those meetings as top priority.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Here's an annoying quote: "If you are thinking about going to an AA meeting. Go to an AA meeting and then think about it." The saying obviously is there for a reason. We all need smart feet and to just get to those meetings as top priority.
