Hi. I'm new to this site; I've struggled with alcohol addiction on & off for many years. I've decided that I really want it this time. I work at a bar that is very stressful & of course, everyone is always drinking. I'm beginning to think that I need to quit this job in order to be successful at sobriety as I am tempted by it constantly. Money would be very tight, but I think we would be ok until I found another job. So, I guess I'm looking for any input or suggestions. Also, any suggestions on the first few weeks of not drinking, anything I should know, or try to make it easier?
Hi and welcome. You will gain a lot by reading and posting on this forum. You say money would be tight but your willing to do this. Thats a good start. I needed to go to all the meeting I could get to when I first came round.5-6 a week. I asked for friends to help me understand what it was that I needed to do to ''' STAY SOBER ''.A day at a time.
I needed to put the work into it for it to work. Half hearted is of no use at all. I started to help at meetings making tea,and putting the chairs and tables away, this is a way to help to talk with others and introducer myself.
I knew I needed their help and they too needed me to help. :} :} If your willing to get to meetings and put all your heart into it your in for a fighting chance rather than continue with a pointless '' struggle ''.A year is a long time to struggle along. ! :{ If your able to stop work for a while till you find new more rewarding work try getting involved in helping other. Voluntary work is great. working with the homeless and others in need. Ask at a meeting how can you try to get more involved alongside and with a sponsor. You have so much to offer AA in your share on your struggles the past year, we need to hear your share/path. This will help others too. :}
Please keep posting too. I / we would love to hear of your progress. Hope you have a lot of AA books to keep you busy reading. Plenty of prayers asking for guidance helps too. You will get there I am sure,your first post is saying that you want sobriety :}
Thank you. I went to an AA meeting about a year a go & never went back. I've always felt that I had a handle on it, or atleast that's what I keep telling myself. Now I'm at a point in my life where alcohol is ruining me, my marriage & distants me from my family & friends. I honestly worry that I can't quit, probably because I haven't.
You have a good worry there,because unless you do what us AA do you will not get there. Simple :}
I make AA my number one priority if not I will drink again. I live in the here and now,one day at a time,and I get to as many meetings as I can. This I will need for the rest of my day. I have a killer illness. AA is my medication. If I slip on it I COULD DIE. :{
Once you become involved in AA meeting new people you start to look forward to going and see how everyone is doing. You find new found understand friends. AA get into your heart :}
Let AA into your heart and you will be happy. and live life on life's terms. You worry you wont quit because you haven't, But you have done nothing to help you stop and keep stopped. AA will help you live the rest of your life sober,happy and content.
How do I know this because AA has done this for me. :}
Do something about it now,get to a meeting. get started. There is a whole new way of living to be had. :} Its bloody wonderful :}
To make a longer story less long, after almost 4 years, I decided to confront this gnawing monkey on my back that had been inside me ever since I met my boyfriend's parents about 3 years ago. He had flown me out to meet him in Arizona, where his parents live, for Christmas. When I got off the plane, I was wasted. I tried to keep it together but I am sure if I saw a video of myself, I would cringe. He didn't have to drag me home from the airport, but I am certain that I did NOT make a good first impression. I didn't drink the rest of the weekend (hated it - kept hoping wine would come out).
2 years later (last month) I finally had the courage to ask my boyfriend what his parents had thought. He is extremely quiet and after practically having to pull his teeth out, although he attempted to say something so diplomatically as to not upset me, I don't even remember what it was he said. I only know that it was enough for me to finally write to his mom and apologize. I was still in some denial as to what I was the way I was (oh! I took my meds too early...etc.) but I did apologize and did at least acknowledge in some sort of way that I had drank on the plane and acted like an idiot.
The reply email I received from his mom was what knocked me into reality. Along with everything else she put in there that made me dread the NEXT email - she wanted to get her husband's input before giving me an in-depth reply - which scared the **** out of me- there was really only one sentence that summed it up for me. She said "I bear you no ill will." Tears poured down my face as I realized this is NOT what you hope are your future in-laws! I want to hear how happy they are that their wonderful son found such a wonderful woman, blah blah blah - Not "I bear you no ill will!" As they say, the truth only hurts when it should.
I replied back - told her many things, and among them was that I was an alcoholic. It just sort of came pouring out and I also sent the letter to my boyfriend. I must say that I am still drinking, but I immediately looked up and began attending AA. Of course, I chose the morning ones to start and I am now on day 4 of 4 meetings in a row (in the beginning I thought - 90 in 90? Are they kidding?) Now I see that I could see myself going to 2 or even 3 since I obviously started with the EASY part of the day, at least for me.)
I am loving the meetings and although I am still scared to quit, and shocked that I did at least have only ONE beer yesterday instead of SIX, I need to pick a day to stop. And I mean within 3 days. Any more than that and I can see myself drinking as much as I can before I quit (like smoking).
So - Thank you if you actually got this far, I look forward to the Tuesday night online meeting. I think it is a great idea for me to do BOTH. There are things I will share here that I may not feel comfortable sharing in the beginning at the reg meetings. Now, back to that deadline. AHHHH! Oh! And reading the Big Book is REALLY helping me!!
Yep 90 meetings in 90 day if you can do it :} I needed a meeting every time I needed a drink I went to one, I felt safe at the meetings.
I was asked one do I want to live or do I want to be dead. We have an illness that wants us to drink ourselves to death. Yes this is very true.
We who are in A.A. came because we finally gave up trying to control our drinking. We still hated to admit that we could never drink safely. Then we heard from other A.A. members that we were sick. (We thought so for years!) We found out that many people suffered from the same feelings of guilt and loneliness and hopelessness that we did. We found out that we had these feelings because we had the disease of alcoholism...
I have never met anyone who has stayed stopped drinking without the help of AA.
AA is more important than anything else in our lives because if we did not have AA we would have nothing. We loose, boyfriends, Families,jobs,homes,cars. Drinks is a very very powerful drug. And it kills us in the end.
We done you for getting to your meetings,up them and keep them very important in your live. People around you will notice you change and become proud of you,but first you will start to love yourself, and be proud of yourself too. Far better than making a mess of everything you have and want. :}
How ironic I was seriously JUST thinking the other day what an uncommon name Polly is (it is the name of my best friend of 45 years!) and that never in my life have I met another Polly - Until now!
By the way, after throwing a party the night before, Polly, who had drank her whole life, woke up one morning and all of the booze was in the trash. It turned out that her teenage daughter had thrown it away. That was the day that she quit drinking forever. I think for her, that was all it took.
Welcome, both of you newcomers! it was strongly suggested when i was a newcomer to make 90 meetings in 90 days, as it takes about 90 days to break old habits and make new ones. do what you can to get a sponsor from one of the meetings and follow the suggestions. and of course, keep coming back. looking forward to hearing your experiences and questions. big hugs, jj/sheila
Hi. I'm new to this site; I've struggled with alcohol addiction on & off for many years. I've decided that I really want it this time. I work at a bar that is very stressful & of course, everyone is always drinking. I'm beginning to think that I need to quit this job in order to be successful at sobriety as I am tempted by it constantly. Money would be very tight, but I think we would be ok until I found another job. So, I guess I'm looking for any input or suggestions. Also, any suggestions on the first few weeks of not drinking, anything I should know, or try to make it easier?
Hi I so hope you are still viewing this forum and have found a few meetings to attend. When you next go to meeting buy the living sober book. Its full of good things for early days in AA and what to do to avoid picking up that first drink.
Never give up and never give into that first drink. And keep coming back it gets better, :}
