Are you hard of reading? I just did the first step! And I'm pretty confident that I can whiz through the next 11 by June now that I cleared the god hurdle. That's the toughie as far as I'm concerned...it's all wind at my back smooth sailing from then on.
Spoken like a true alc; unless of course your saying it "tongue in cheek."
McTipsy, I'm glad you are having this dialog with yourself about HP. I'm thinking you really want to believe it's just that all those voices telling you not to trust human intrepretations of God keep belching out their white noise, making it hard for you to see the miracles in the rooms and to say to yourself, "Hey, none of these people could do it on their own; there's no experts here and yet...I see magic; small miracles of growth and happiness...right before my eyes."
How could this be? Thing is, you don't have to listen to the interpretations of others; just stay quiet and listen...to your own. You will eventually hear the loving voice of something greater than yourself steering you to be...greater than yourself. Shhhh! Are you listening?
-- Edited by rayted32 on Wednesday 2nd of May 2012 12:26:30 PM
That's good news T.M. Didn't know that you were stuck on the HP thing. Where did you get the idea that "a man made definition of God" was a requirement in AA? "A God of our own understanding" is what is suggested, or none at all. Many AAs have gotten sober using the group "Group Of Drunks" or other in other objects as their "Higher Power". It can be anything, as long as it isn't US. A psychological model to work the steps with. For most of us, something does happen, along way. Many compare it to the "spiritual experience" that Bill had, others not so much. I had mine, right after finishing my 5th step, one evening, with a priest. I was not "saved", he was Catholic. I just walked outside and it felt like 100 lbs. had been lifted off of my shoulders and I was walking 3' off of the ground. It's hard to describe in words. I've haven't had a serious thought of drinking since. It's been awhile.
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Wednesday 2nd of May 2012 06:56:11 PM
I refuse to believe in any man made definition of god, heaven, hell or afterlife. In fact I've searched and found them all to be laughably rediculous. As you can imagine this has made acceptance of the Alcoholics Anonymous program somewhat difficult...impossible actually...but last night lying in bed I think I found a way around it for myself. I have lost some close relatives, my grandparents, an auntie and most recently a favorite uncle. I'm my heart I know they didn't simply cease to exist when they died. I know because I feel their presence and sometimes the subtle hand of their guidance in my life. So instead of praying or seeking help from some nonsensical religious "god" I will consider my higher power these once living breathing loved ones who I believe have moved on to somewhere unknown but still exist and actually care about me.
So there you have it, 10 years of struggle with this whole higher power business has been put to bed. Now how soon til I'm cured :)
You are twelve steps away from finding out you can't be cured but you can have an awesome, inspiring life in recovery. :)
__________________
I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
Are you hard of reading? I just did the first step! And I'm pretty confident that I can whiz through the next 11 by June now that I cleared the god hurdle. That's the toughie as far as I'm concerned...it's all wind at my back smooth sailing from then on.
There you go Tipsy...a bit of honesty...out loud. You've been hanging on to NO!! for a while now and are willing to try what AA suggest...your own understanding.
By the way in my culture the explanation for your belief is "Na Aumakua" the spirits of our ancestors who have passed on and still guide us. It is very ancient and valid. There is a deep, long lasting, standing to it. Maybe they touched you and gave you the suggestion just before you made the decision. The standing for this comes from the indigenous peoples of this planet...the ancient tribes, many of whom still exist and still practice the culture.
Okay...That was step 1 & 2. Do a sanity check and see if that is beginning to hum. Sanity...a continuous and orderly process of thought...for me. It works when you work it.
-- Edited by Jerry F on Wednesday 2nd of May 2012 07:14:17 PM
Personally, I'm not religious, and had a hard time identifying a higher power that could be meaningful to me. Now I visualize my HP as a giant spiderweb with the "spokes" as the people and institutions in my community who care about and support me and bring meaning to my life. When I wonder what to do, I think about falling back into the web and the direction they would want to "bounce" me back into. If I can think of a course of action upon which they would mostly agree (which coincidentally almost always ends up sounding like "doing the next right thing"!) I know that's what I should be doing. Plus, I have faith that no matter how badly things might go, I can always fall back into that web and they will catch me.
