so i'm off to a meeting. Get to drive myself there!!! yay!!
my car's a tad noisy, rusty...but hey it works.... among other things i know that work...:)
if it works...work it..right?!
i've been doing some heavy thinking on my daughter this week. I got her report card...its not good...she's in the 40's for most of her classes and she only has 3 of them!!!
she gets an attitude of total indifference...like i'm interfering when i try to talk to her about it. I told her i'm not giving up or in and that i'll keep badgering her till she smartens up. A few weeks ago i told her that I'd be asking her friend to move out if she didn't straighten out. Well i don't know about that. Why should her friend be put on the street because of someone elses actions.
i'm quite sick about this. She is in her last year of high school. Wants to go on to take social work. It 's not going to happen at this rate. She's convinced i don't understand....like i've never been there....
A friend of mine says he told his daughter its school or you move out...his daughter moved out. I don't want that. I missed too much of my daughters life due to my crap to give her an ultimatum like that.
she's not spoken to her dad since she moved in with me last december so hes not part of the solution.
i feel like a martyr....i'm tired of the daily fight to get her up for school. a couple of times i've thrown water on her. she still didn't get up. I know when i was that age no one could tell me anything. Total ears filled with cotton sorta thing. My heart breaks to see her giving up.
i jsut don';t know what to do....
well i'm off to a meeting. Have a great, sober day. I wish for you all, heart smiles today.
wow.. life thru the generations doesn't change much, eh? When I was a senior in high school life seemed just too overwhelming, and I got behind in school, and once behind couldn't catch up... so I just didn't go.. didn't quit but didn't go and was taken off the rolls,, so I didn't graduate. I went back the next year and did graduate. Then my dad wanted me to go to college, and even offered some money that had been put in trust for me.. college or a car,, I bought a car. I was not told it was college or out, but I was told it was either college or work. I got a job. But then I saw how limited my job opportunities were. My father had already given me money for the car so I was not offered more for school, but I did it on my own,, working and taking a course or two at a time. I think I needed to gain those perspectives, and to be inner motivated instead of feeling controlled by my parents.
Same story with my son. I was the one to try to wake and get him up... told him school or work or out.. he left and had a horrible time, and I'm not sure I made the right decision. It's so hard to know where that fine line is between helping and enabling and controlling. Now he is older and would like to go back to school, but has to support himself.
About the other one in your house.. that's hard to say.. is the other one a bad influence? a good influence? Are there other options?
The Steps here would be Steps 10, 11, and 12 for me. Checking myself and my behavior in this, and asking God to give my wisdom to do the wisest things and then sharing the message by my example.
God bless you and your family,
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Hmmm, tough call for you Wendy. At her age it is time for her to take some personal responsiblity for her actions, but you certainly don't want her to fail. Letting go of the kids was the hardest thing for me to do, but they went and seem to be doing ok without my input all the time. But it's hard to remember that I don't have the final word anymore.
