"Fear is often the force that prevents me from acquiring and cultivating the power of faith. Fear blocks my appreciation of beauty, tolerance, forgiveness, service, and serenity." - daily reflection
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Not all my days are priceless, but none of my days are worthless, anymore.
When I started to except everything just as it is and understand that if I do not pick up that first drink everything will work out ok is when my fears started to go away. But first I had to understand that it was my higher power that guided me, protected me from myself ! and lead me to AA. For I could not have done this by self alone.
When I look back on how things were I am able to say that I do not have any fears today. Some people may smile at this and say its impossible ! Its not.
When I look back on how things were 99% of my day or week is Happy and content. Not always but most of the time.
I do not think of drinking but I do get fleeting moments of suicidal thoughts these frighten me ! And my sister killed herself and I know my illness wants me to think these ways its an illness of my thoughts. My thoughts are how I feel so I am always aware of this. I suffer from severe physical pain and it reduces me to tears and to my knees in prayer.
I have a program for guidance and I will not allow these moments of mental insane thoughts to over take and win. I will not allow myself to become a victim of my thoughts I was a victim for far too long and drank on everything.
God is with me and he has given me a purpose. To stay sober and help another Alcoholic. I work hard at that ''purpose'' today :}
Fear of tomorrow will make me drink again. Keep it in the day.. Sometimes its just for a moment at a time.
Time changes always and so must I.
I have been fear free for quite some time now, today I may have a few worries but they never need to bring about fear.
I work at things I used to put off or avoid. I no longer do this. I just get on with what is needed to be done.
I sure feels far better than sitting in my nightdress full of fear and with a drink killing me !
Yep, no fear, I have a bed to sleep in today and not a box our in the cold or the soup kitchen food or walk the streets looking in the trash for leftovers.
Yep I look after myself the best way I know. The AA way. :}
Spare a thought for the still suffering Alcoholic that has nothing tonight. I have a brother poor man lives this those mentioned here. Please de God give him some quality in his live and send a MIRACLE . Please God hear my prayers.
