Hello!

Epitaph · Newbie

Hello!

gonee · MIP Old Timer

Welcome. The book Alcoholic Anonymous has a lot of information for alcoholics.

justadrunk · MIP Old Timer

Welcome! This will be a good place to be!

rrib · Senior Member

Hello and welcome to the board. It's funny, whenever I left the bar i couldn't care less who waw me drunk. But sober up and I was shy too about admitting I needed help.

Epitaph · Newbie

Cool cool. Thank you. So I'm kind of wrestling with this.. I don't really want to give up the sauce totally, cause I don't reaaaally think my life would be more fun without it. It's sorta under control now, I got this breathalyzer a bit ago and it's sweet cause it's like an objective ruler that I can't talk myself around, if that makes sense.. I know if I'm over 0.14 or so when I get to bed someone might notice the next morning cause I work wicked early. I don't get hangovers.. sometimes maybe a little bit of a headache but I still do my job really well, it's not like I've ever showed up drunk not ever seriously, but maybe not totally back up to par?.. A few times. For years. I think I've been getting drunk like almost every single night for probably 5 years. but if I just cut back I think it'd be fine, keep myself under 0.10 or so and there's no problems. So that's sorta what I'm doing now.. Is that bad? I blow 0.00 every single morning with the exception of a 0.02 once, a month ago.

So I guess what I've been asking myself and what I don't really know is, if you're genetically an alcoholic do you absolutely have to swear it off?

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

Epitaph, for the majority of us here, we did have to give it up completely because we absolutely could not do controlled drinking. Only you can decide if you are that type of alcoholic or not. I know that for me, even when I did control my drinking (on rare occassion) I was usually just putting off getting smashed later and I was angry that I couldn't drink the way I wanted. The reason we abstain totally is because it is general AA consensus that after the first drink, we lose all control to stop. This doesn't mean every time we drink to oblivion (though in many cases it does mean that), but we have 1 drink and are then compelled to have more and more and don't reach a point of ever having enough. You are describing having some ability to stop, but you still want to drink more when you do so I don't know what that means.

We don't really swear off alcohol either. We surrender to the fact that it has whooped us and we don't try and just go on the wagon. We use a spiritual approach to help cope with daily problems and such and thereby we emerge more whole and full people without the urge to drink (ideally and if that make sense to you).

As far as the small town and being a pilot. Anonymity is central to AA so it shouldn't be a huge concern though I sort of understand your reservations. The point I want to make is that if you ever reach a point of suffering so bad from the disease, you have to weigh it out like this "Ask for help and a few people know I am struggling with alcohol vs. suffer in silence and die out of worry over others." Not sure you are there yet, but if you get there, cut your losses and go to that meeting. If the disease gets worse, you wont have a job to worry about anyhow.

In support,

Mark

gonee · MIP Old Timer

well explained, Mark.

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Hello and welcome to the board.

SoberSteve · MIP Old Timer

Hello, the only requirement to join us is a desire to STOP (not moderate) drinking. WELCOME!

Wolfie55 · Senior Member

Welcome Hah. I had that old worry too that someone might find out I was in AA, getting help for a problem that everyone knew I already had. I never worried too much about who seen me crawling around in the gutter, but I was worried they might find out I was sober....Ironic.

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Hah, Like you, I knew that I was an alcoholic long before I decided to do something about it. It just occurred to me that many of us have to have a lot of loses and consequences from our drinking before they are willing to admit it. This is a progressive disease due to a number of factors, it gets worse over time, as in "stages of alcoholism". What's "working" for you now, won't necessarily work in 6 months or a year, or maybe a couple years. This is a disease of the body and mind. The physical aspect has to do with the increased sensitivity to alcohol (as in allergic reaction) and the liver's decreased ability (or fluctuating ability) to remove alcohol from the blood stream. For example: You're drinking till .14 and waking up in the morning 0.00. Eventually, the live partially or completely shuts down and fails to remove the alcohol from the body (or does it at a slower rate) so you may wake up with .7 , .10 , or even .14 after 8 hours or 2 days. And thirdly, the body's increased tolerance to alcohol as a sedative (ability to mood alter, stress relief etc...) like other drugs, where the addict has to increase the dose just to feel "normal" or to keep from getting sick. It's a very cruel process where alcohol goes from being our best friend to our worst enemy. Then there is the affect alcohol has on the mind of an alcoholic, which is much more complicated, but described very well in the Book Alcoholics Anonymous, which you can read here free. Beginning with the "Doctor's Opinion"

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_doctoropinion.cfm

-- Edited by StPeteDean on Sunday 15th of April 2012 08:24:14 AM

SteveP · MIP Old Timer

Howdy, Epitaph, welcome.

What pinkchip said. I remember that I wanted to get myself a breathalsyer. Thankfully, I never did...I got into AA instead. After some time in AA I realised that was my obsession with alcohol that made me want to get a breathalyser.

BTW, I see that you're pilot. I'm a bit a of a plane geek and tried (in sobriety) to learn to fly gliders -- it quickly become obvious that I am too uncoorodinated and clumsy (one of the things I cannot change ; ) ) to keep one of those things in the air and I wisely gave it up...BUT whenever I need a lift, no pun intended, I read this story from page 522 of the Big Book. Someday I hope to meet Lyle P, the author, at an AA convention

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_theylostnearlyall11.pdf

Keep coming back!

Steve

-- Edited by SteveP on Sunday 15th of April 2012 01:57:54 PM

-- Edited by SteveP on Sunday 15th of April 2012 02:07:19 PM

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

Epitaph, it's also a big ball and chain and not "normal" to be blowing into a breathalizer every morning. I'm not saying you are insane, but this is they stuff that we alcoholics engage in during our active drinking and we accept it as normal. That's not normal and it's keeping you chained and prisoner to alcohol even more. You think the breathalizer is helping but it really seems like a tool to keep you a slave to alcohol. There is a way out if you are ready.

Fyne Spirit · MIP Old Timer

Epitaph wrote:
Cool cool. Thank you. So I'm kind of wrestling with this.. I don't really want to give up the sauce totally, cause I don't reaaaally think my life would be more fun without it. It's sorta under control now, I got this breathalyzer a bit ago and it's sweet cause it's like an objective ruler that I can't talk myself around, if that makes sense.. I know if I'm over 0.14 or so when I get to bed someone might notice the next morning cause I work wicked early.

Sounds perfectly normal to me, for an alcoholic that is.

Welcome to MIP Epitaph. Stick around, try and keep an open mind, and we'll try and help you towards a solution.

God bless,

MikeH

Epitaph · Newbie

Such a nice group. Thank you all for your thoughts and viewpoints. But right now I can't side one way or the other, just wanted to dangle my feet in the water and read a bit about it. You all make quite a lot of sense though, which is kind of scary, but really thanks.

LinBabaAgo-go · Senior Member

Welcome

The AMA defines alcoholism as a disease, so I looked up the definition of disease and it said:

"An unhealthy condition of mind or body with certain recognizable signs and symptoms"

Yet we are alcoholic even if we are not drinking, so I started studying about alcoholism and alcoholics

Alcoholics are people that obsess that they can control and enjoy their drinking, yet if they are enjoying it, they aren't controlling it, if they are controlling it, they aren't enjoying it, and they also suffer from denial, which is they wonder if they are an alcoholic even though deep down they know something is wrong, but the truth is they suffer from the obsession that someday they will control and enjoy their drinking

I suggest reading the first few chapters of the book suggested above, it will get your attention although you may or may not quit drinkiing, even if it causes you to lose everything, including your life, alcoholics have the ability to look down on others even face down in a gutter

from here, you score 10/10 as an alcoholic, and if you read those chapters you will see that, but, it takes what it takes, I for one hope you stay around, and I hope you decide to stay sober and stop making excuses why you can't go to meetings, I know cops, doctors, fireman, and pilots that go to meetings, when getting sober becomes your priority instead of controlling your drinking you will make the decision to make a decision, from there it's up to you

Have fun regardless, sober or drinking, because life is too short to suffer, if you are going to drink, go drink, if you are going to sober up, do that, but drinking and thinking about getting sober is a painful and wasted existence

mikef · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to MIP! WE are here for each other ,no big I's or little U's just one reaching out to another in a loving and caring manner.Stick around,WE need you.Peace. smile

Mike B. · MIP Old Timer

Welcome! Not much I can add to the experience others here have offered. I can relate to all of them. Which I'm grateful for. I know about sitting on the fence, been there, soon your b*lls will start to hurt. It will be painful. biggrin Pick a road, more will be revealed. wink