Aloha Family...I've been pondering the Police Commission meeting which was called this last Friday. They were hearing my complaint of the assault and I went. They have open meetings just like Al-Anon...LOL however it isn't a Family Group meeting except for yours truely.
My PTSD and lack of sleep have been raging since Nov 8th so I wasn't in such great shape mind, body, spirit and emotions. My recourse was to pray..."Place me where you want me and tell me what to do" and then listen. I don't listen to well because the voices in my head all have been loud and out of control and then while I was sitting out side of the room waiting for my complaint number to be called I told HP "its getting close to time and I don't know what to do!!" And I didn't except HP clued me with the "tell me what to do"..."Do what your sponsor taught you to do when you were in a situation and feeling powerless." I had an AHA!! revelation as I remember my sponsor telling me "When you get in those situations tell the truth...that you are feeling powerless and say it out loud so everyone can hear it." It actually doesn't get any better than that because when I did it ...everyone there including myself were all on the same page. They were just as powerless as I was and I watched the body language of the 13-14 people in the room and they all relaxed into submission. The Country Attorney was at my left and I told him I never in my wildest dreams ever imagined sitting with him in a Police Commission meeting where I was the person complaining about an assault. I told them my intention was to put my wife at ease by going to buy a rain hat to keep the rain off my head when I worked outside. "I was going to get a rain hat and ended up in jail, wet and in an airconditioned cell...blah blah blah...until I just don't like going over the event anymore. There were some questions and then it was over and I left to "we will be notifying you of our decision". I'm powerless over that also. One of the people in the room was the internal investigation officer from the police department who said the same thing over a month ago and I've never gotten their decision.
Its turned over now...what is done up until this point is done and HP has it back in HP's "In File". I'm staying powerless until the next time I am told where HP wants me and then tells me what to do. Funny...didn't suggest anything more unique than what my sponsor taught me. Sponsors are instruments of HPs...don't you think?
I've got other things to do in the meantimes. Thanks for being here and for your loving support. (((((hugs)))))
Hey Jerry, sounds like it went pretty well, all things considered. Thinking about my unmaneageable life I remember appointing a new manager (God). He an I consult a bit, and I try to make decisions in line with His will for me. But, as He is the manager, He gets to be responsible for the results so I don't have to worry about that. I just leave it up to Him and, so far, even the blackest situations have worked out fine.
It is truly amazing no matter how far along we get working our indiividual processes we sometimes have to STOP and remember our 1st step,yes we are powerless over our_____ our lives could once again become unmanageable(a little para phased)Our spiritual principles are our solution,when we are able to incorporate them in "all our affairs" we feel that Power "in the care of"....Our pain shared is most always our pain lessened. In prayer and support Jerry.A daily learning lesson, I know for this hard head,application and not lipservice keeps me in my Gods will to the best of my ability..WE try not to waste the trials of our lives but seek what our God may be trying to teach us.......Peace my brother!!!
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
I got tense, had to take a couple deep breaths, just reading your post Jerry. When I'm sitting in the little room getting ready to go into the big room,
I always ask my HP to go in with me and keep me calm.
I hang around with spiritually, emotionally, mentally rich people at MIP. I hope you're all doing as well physically. I am deeply grateful for your expressions of how it works for you and that I can apply it myself anytime for free. Mahalo Nui...Thanks Much. Jerry.
Thanks for sharing. I hope your case turns out for the best. All I kept thinking about while reading was what I learned when I was in HI, what is the slogan?? Just hang loose...
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
When I'm sitting in the little room getting ready to go into the big room,