I was about two years into AA, and everything was falling apart. I had surrendered to the bottle and the bag, so why was everything getting worse and worse. I knew I was an alcoholic of the hopeless variety, I was not drinking, making meetings twice a day, sometimes more. I had done the steps to the best of my ability with a sponsor. Why was my family falling apart, marriage in shambles, self esteem in the toilet, working way below my self appointed station in life. It sucked bad, BUT I WASNT DRINKING. When this movie came out in 02 " Changing Lanes ", it got my attention, I had not surrendered to the unmanageably of my life. My total inability to run my own life on my will power only. In step three I voted for new management, and in the following steps I show, by my actions that He is my new employer. This has been my biggest struggle in my sobriety. My #1 defect, playing God. Thank God its progress not perfection...
-- Edited by billyjack on Wednesday 14th of March 2012 04:32:39 PM
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Since it cost a lot to win, and even more to loose, you and me gotta spend some time just wondering what to choose.
I hid in the rooms for my first two years, and my life did fall apart....mainly because it is impossible to get or keep a job when meetings became my new addiction, and I thought everything else was handled with Step Three...
Get a job.. Okay, I'll turn that over...
The landlord is asking for rent... I'm powerless...
Lights are turned off... I'm walking in the sunlight of the Spirit!
True this. But I also benefited greatly from recognizing my dysfunctional behavior and from a spiritual gift, learned a number of organizational and self motivational skills: Goal setting on paper, most important of all. Making "to do lists" daily, Imagining my new life, career, destinations, picking some people that I would like to be like and studying them to see what postiive things that they were doing and duplicating them. Asking for help <--- another huge revelation. I realized that I could take the second most important part of the program (Duplication) "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path" and apply it to ALL parts of my life. If I want to be the best car salesman, find the best and learn from them (Zig Ziglar), do what they do. Ask people to mentor you in the areas that you wish to excel. I believe that, if asked, your Higher Power will put people into your life to help you, but then it is up to us to get on the prescribed path and duplicate the successful efforts of others, whom we are trying to imitate. Of course, as alcoholics, there are a few hurdles (setbacks in our thinking) that we have to get over such as inability (or lack of desire) to follow directions, "Terminal Uniqueness" - blazing your own path is exciting (sometimes) but it's rarely successful. And of course there is the "Authority figure issues" we have to overturn. And with most of us there is also "Attention deficit" issues, where we get bored easily and seem to do "a little of this, and a little of that" instead of sticking to the plan and putting in the hard rowing in mid-stream.
Great post and sharing. Part II of Step 1, the unmanageability of life. It's subtle- cunning, baffling and powerful. I've been caught up in the unmanageability and felt like my *ss was fallen off. I would inventory my part and it would come to me, after a while...... Oh yea, who's driving the bus or running the show...... It was me.... damn it... no wonder I feel like sh*t. Back to Step 2 and 3.
The positive thing- today I jump into the drivers seat less often and when I do, I spend less time there. Thank you God and AA.
Hooked on disaster? of course!! I needed alcohol to bring me down from adrenalin a lot of times. It is in the 3 to 5 seconds between what triggers me and how I respond to it that I meet God. If I don't take that 3 to 5 seconds break and let my "self" react...I done for...toast!! I am not a good self manager. Jerry
GREAT FLICK........
Oh yea, who's driving the bus or running the show...... 
It was me.... damn it... no wonder I feel like sh*t. 
Back to Step 2 and 3. 