I don't know if the sex is better sober or not, because most of the sex I had when drinking I don't remember. I lost my virginity over a bottle of scotch, I poured my girlfriend the equivalent of two strong scotch & sodas, and drank most of the rest of the bottle myself. I do remember it...
I spent quite a few years celibate in sobriety with the occasional one nighter... of both the paid for and non-paid variety. Between my divorce and meeting my current wife was and interesting stretch of time for my personal growth and discovery. Had to come to terms with the fact that the women I was drawn to were manipulative and insane. I had a little fun but mostly frustration and had I had much more of that kind of fun, things might have turned out badly.
At the end of all this I found myself on my knees thanking my higher power for making me unattractive to the psycho women I was attracted to. Even the nutjobs weren't really interested in me.
However... I am fond of pepper. Still. One of my favorite lines in the Big Book.
Let the (us) boys have our fun Martina, it's why we got sober, and truly, as in no BS, sex IS a lot better as a sober, healthy man, would you want to take our sense of humor AND that away from us?
I think not. Lighten up Francis.
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Light a man a fire and he's warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
My part about "scoring more chicks" was a joke. Anyone who's been around here long knows im gay. That's why I'm allowed to say stuff like that :) Friggin breeders.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Those links may prove to be helpful for you, as for me and the others joking around:
we think cheerfulness and laughter make for usefulness. Outsiders are sometimes shocked when we bust into merriment over a seemingly tragic experience out of the past. But why shouldn't we laugh? We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others.
Everybody know that those in bad health, and those who seldom play, do not laugh much. So let each family play together or separately as much as their circumstances warrant. We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free. We cannot subscribe to the belief that his life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us. But it is clear that we made our own misery. God didn't do it.Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence.
An alcoholic in his cups is an unlovely creature. Our struggles with them are variously strenuous, comic, and tragic. One poor chap committed suicide in my home. He could not, or would not see our way of life.
There is, however, a vast amount of fun about it all. I suppose some would be shocked at our seeming worldliness and levity. But just underneath there is deadly earnestness. Faith has to work twenty-four hours a day in and through us, or we perish.
I got sober to laugh, to have fun, and if someone has a problem with others being silly and having fun, it's -their- problem, not those who are joking around, now this may seem to be an antagonistic response but it's not, I am trying to convey one of THE most important lessons I learned in Sobriety, if I have a problem with you, it's -my- problem, if I have a resentment about someone's behavior, it's -my- problem to deal with, this is of critical importance in learning to live a life that is happy, joyous, and free. To the precise extent that we allow ourselves to have resentments (or control others behavior) do we squander the hours that could be worthwhile.
Most of us participating in this thread have sought out help from other 12 step programs to deal with these very issues, perhaps it might be helpful to you as well?
Now excuse me, I am going to go start my day
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Light a man a fire and he's warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
Man, I aint joking here. I was fat, unfit and unattractive. I used to keep warm cans of beer next to me coz it was too bloody hard to walk to the fridge. What hope was there of a good sex life? That's if I could even be interested, which by the end I just wasn't.
Now I'm trimmed, fit and don't look like a dog's breakfast. I work my arse off in my job which is honest farm work and have energy to burn when I knock off. It shows in the sack, believe me.