You might find that after being sober awhile, that you may not need medication. My Mother, who's 36 years sober now, was a mental patient, on meds for a decade and half and regular psych visits, no longer needed either after a year sober. Her history was extensive, 2 nervous breakdowns, locked up in a psych ward a couple of times. Most of us have some real issues when we get here and most of us that stay sober come out of it pretty remarkably. Now I have a high school friend, who got sober before I did, who was not so lucky. He's bi-polar and has to be on meds. He's had 5 and 10 years sober, twice, stopped taking his meds (lithium) a couple of times (because he didn't like how they made him feel) and had lots of problems that took years to straighten out.
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Tuesday 21st of February 2012 12:29:18 PM
Hi, my name is Christine, I'm an alcoholic/addict and I'm 19 days sober.
The above statement is all I know right now. It seems like my identity is all wrapped up in that sentence.
Every day, I read some of the big book, I do some reading here, I watch episodes of "Intervention" on Netflix to reinforce my decision to make this change in my life and I go to a meeting.
The next day, I do it all again.
I've been suffering from the most awful headache and night sweats almost every day/night. My sleeping patterns are all messed up and today, the tears just keep falling. I'm just exhausted. I have an appt with my DR tomorrow afternoon, so hopefully some kind of relief is on the way.
When I go to meetings, I"m lost. I don't know all of the rules. There's cross talk and there's gossip and there's personalities that hinder my attention to policies.
For the most part, I sit down and shut up and open my ears.
Some times I can't seem to think clearly, like I've got a weird foggy brain.
Almost every day I have to take a nap. I've NEVER taken naps and now I can't get through the day without one.
I don't have a sponser, yet. I know I need one, but there is a true lack of long-term sober ladies in my meetings. Most of my meetings are filled with young ladies going through a 120 day rehab program that requires attendance or else they've been court ordered to be there.
I've gotten a few phone numbers from some young ladies, but they're all in the same boat I"m in, except I'm 25 years older than them. I can't bring myself to call a bunch of youngsters on the phone. I"m not trying to be better than them, but I am being slefish. I don't want to call someone else who is as confused as me. I want someone with reassurances that this will get better.
Maybe I'm just having a bad day.
My husband is being VERY loving and supportive and is glad I'm making this change, but he doesn't "get" it. Last night he said "you have this licked." Bless his heart, I know he's wrong, but I just don't have the energy to try and educate him, because I have no clue what to say. I just let the comment pass.
Any thoughts to make this a little better for me today?
PS - I also have a question - there are a LOT of older men with 20-30 years of sobriety in the meetings I go to. Would it be totally out of the question to ask one of them to be a temporary sponser until I can find a lady? I'm really feeling that I NEED a sponser, but there doesn't seem to be any available and the 2 women who are possibilities are already overloaded with sponsees because of the low # of long-term sober ladies in the area.
Hi Christine. The first 90 days, a new person just needs to go to as many meetings (assorted mettings) and absorb the program, talk about what's bugging you, find a sponsor, read and buy time. Buying time is essential as it takes about 90-180 days of continuous sobriety for the brain and body to level off of the roller coaster ride, that it was on during active drinking. During this time we also learn (again) how to manage stress naturally. In Early sobriety everything is a "big deal". We learn how to change our thinking, find a higher power, begin to use the 3rd step (turning it over) and learning how to have gratitude. There are lots of other non-program things we should be doing, eating well, taking vitamins, exercising (aerobic) every day. Caution about getting on some kind of medication during this time just because one is experiencing some anxiety and losing some sleep. That's just part of detoxing and getting sober. Now if someone is suicidal or so depressed they can't do anything (let take a shower), that might also be an indication. We're not supposed to give medical advise for or against, and I'm not. Just tossing out some observations. I was terribly stressed, depressed, and dysfunctional the first 120 days. I swear that I didn't have one "good day" in the first 30 days. The second 30 days, I probably had 3 or 4 "good days". After 60 days things got progressive better, where I felt good about half the time. At 4 months I was only having one "bad day" a week, but boy I could really make it worse by obseessing on someone or something that was not to my liking. The more time I was sober, the better I got. At this point I may go years without having a "bad day". I hope this helps.
About your male sponsor question. Yes I think that if you found an old timer (20-30 year sober) to be your sponsor and you felt comfortable that opposite sex issues weren't going to be a problem, then I would consider it. The main job of a sponsor is to help you work the steps, the sooner the better.
I am already on anti-depressants and my DR appt is my 3 month check-up for those, although I did let the nurse know I wanted to talk to the DR about being in AA now. I'm VERY reluctant to take anything (for the headaches) stronger than ibuprofen because that's where my addict issue comes in. I have a history of not taking RXs as they are prescribed and I do not want to have an RX in my possession that will tempt me. I'll be honest with the DR about that.
Thanks for letting me know that the good days may be sparse in the beginning. That makes sense. I'm probably just expecting too much and should just take some time to chill out and take care of myself.
Thanks for the answer on the old-timers - I'm 48 and totally devoted to my husband and our marriage. There's a fellow that's about 65-70ish that has 28 years of sobriety that I'd like to ask for help. I do not see an issue (for me) in an opposite sex sponsor, but I will ask him for his thoughts about helping me get started.
Welcome Christine. Glad to have you here with us. Sounds like you right where your supposed to be. Feet totally suspended in mid air and the brain that won't stop thinking. I've been there too. It will get better. Go to meetings- 1+ a day if possible, talk within the Fellowship, find a Sponsor who is willing to take you through The Steps.
In the meantime, ignore the negative thinking between your ears. It's just noise and our diesase that's out to get us. Then, talk with someone about the noise or issues your having. You'll find they're normal and part of early recovery.
On you Sponsorship question: Why not ask one of the oldtimers if he has a name of a female with some sober time that practices the Steps and The Program well? Chances are he will have names for you.
Christine; I really have nothing to add to the wisdom that has already been shared; just want you to know I am thinking about you! Oh those icky feelings! I kind of equate to going back to 16 years old; everything feels so dramatic and frustrating! But please hang in there...this too shall pass! Dolly
Hi Christine Im 76 days sober and Im finding that things get better than you could even imagine, if you keep coming back and working the 12 steps, you will start seeing an improvement...I cant give you any dr. advice. Im finding Im not quite back to "normal" but things are so much better than they were 76 days ago, Im really wondering what this program will do for me by the 100 day mark and upwards. keep coming back, it really does work if you use the twelve steps and stay off alcohol.
Pretty normal physical stuff your going through, they say to keep eating the sweets if we crave them, alchohol has a lot of sugar it so your body craves it. The need for sweets will subside.
I felt tired and sluggish the first few weeks sober, after that I got a huge energy boost that I didn't know what to do with. Taking a 1/2 tsp of powered cinnamon and washing it down with water works like a charm for my headaches and my wife's migranes.
It all gets better and the promises await you!
__________________
Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Usually I'm a chip/pretzel person and ingest tons of them, but lately I've been on a fruit & juice kick. It's almost like being pregnant with the craving thing. You'd think that ditching 10 beers a day PLUS the partnering bag of Doritos would be leading to an impressive weight loss, but NOOOOO. Plus, all this healthy fruit stuff. So far I've gained 5 pounds. That joined the 30 pounds of beer belly I already had, so I'm discouraged about that. My hubby says to work on one thing at a time, and right now that's "no alcohol" and he's right, but it's just all so weird and frustrating.
Thanks for the cinnamon hint, I will try that. It sounds nasty, but I"m desperate. :)
Your husband is right.....one thing at time.... When I was out drinking I would never eat sweets. Saved all my calories for beer. I was in heaven eating all the things I wouldn't let myself eat when I drank. I eat healthy and I have since become a long distance runner....but my oh my how I reward myself with cookies! lol Went for a walk yesterday with my boyfriend and dog. I told him to hang on I needed to run in the store. I came out with 4 cookies from the bakery. He laughed. I told him years ago I would have come out with a 6 pack. lol Times have changed and life is good. Good Luck! your right where your suppose to bel, dont quit before the miracle happens :)
