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Post Info TOPIC: Contempt Prior To Investigation
mrthumbscrews


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Contempt Prior To Investigation
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Last night at a meeting I was asked to share.  The topic was "Contempt prior to investigation".  While others before shared I kept thinking about contempt of ethnic and minority groups, the OTHERS, not so much the concept as it applies to religious or spiritual concepts.  It is so appropo because this is part and parcel of racism in general.  I regret that I fell into the habit of contempt and generalizations of other races throughout hte years, although I truly never believed myself.  I grew up in the era of Martin Luther King and the Civil Rights Movement, a time when, at least in my social circles, we worked to stamp out racism, subscribing to the truth that people are individuals and although they may share a common belief or cultural bias we find disagreeable, we can never know to what degree they hold dear to that value or what their values or beliefs truly are until we watch them in action and also engage in discourse with them.  

 

Contempt is a strong form of judgement.  So we can easily make the statement -

 

There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance - that principle is Judgement prior to investigation." - 

 

and apply it in the rooms of AA.  In fact, as I have learned, many of us struggle with judgement of individuals.  The Hastings Street crack addict, the biker guy, the gay man,  the homeless. I personally would like to step out of this habit of thought.

 

I remember an amazing experience during my first shot at AA.  At that time I was very scared of everyone and everything.  Old timers were making wise ass comments and laughing with each other, people were hugging each other, and of course I got singled out as a new comer and all the help they offered me fed my fantasy of inadequacy.  It was all so overwhelming.  But the clincher was a very dirty looking transient man sat next to me and I was mortified.  My imaginiation was running wild with fear.  I imagined lice jumping off him and landing on me.  Ugg!  But for some reason I never moved. I stayed put and endured it.  At the end of the meeting we all stood and (you guessed it) held hands and said the Lord's Prayer.  Then something amazing happened.  When that hobo took my hand I felt this great sense of relief.  He was taking My hand and joining with Me in union with a Higher Power.  I was no longer afraid of him.  In fact, as I went to more meetings I made it a point of sitting next to him as often as possible (not for him but for me) because I had crossed the threshold.  I felt free.

Martin


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Tasha


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Thanks for the topic Martin : )

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Rob84


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Martin,

I really enjoyed reading the thoughtful observations in your post. It made me think of one of the most valued acronyms HOW, Honesty, Open-mindedness, Willingness.

AA has taught me so much about using my brain and searching for the truth openly. I was fortunate to have gotten my start in AA in the Akron- Cleve area where the Four Absolutes are still in practice (original part of the AA program), I really love the section on Honesty (I will paste below).

I vowed to myself not to become a rigid, close-minded person as many do when they age. People assume you have certain views if you are a 52 yr old white male living in the Southern USA, so I hear all the jokes and get the chain-emails etc. I don't reply or force my views on others, I just keep trying to learn and seek the truth as much as I can.

http://www.barefootsworld.net/aaogfourabsolutes.html


Honesty
Over and over we must ask ourselves, "Is it true or is it false?" For honesty is the eternal search for truth. It is by far the most difficult of the four Absolutes, for anyone, but especially for us in this fellowship. The problem drinker develops genuine artistry in deceit. Too many (and we plead guilty) simply turn over a new leaf and relax. That is wrong. The real virtue in honesty lies in the persistent dedicated striving for it. There is no relaxed twilight zone, it's either full speed ahead constantly or it's not honesty we seek. And the unrelenting pursuit of truth will set you free, even if you don't quite catch up to it. We need not choose or pursue falsity. All we need is to relax our pursuit of truth, and falsity will find us.
The search for truth is the noblest expression of the soul. Let a human throw the engines of his soul into the doing or making of something good, and the instinct of workmanship alone will take care of his honesty. The noblest pleasure we can have is to find a great new truth and discard old prejudice. When not actively sought, truth seldom comes to light, but falsehood does. Truth is life and falsity is spiritual death. It's an everlasting, unrelenting instinct for truth that counts. Honesty is not a policy. It has to be a constant conscious state of mind.
Accuracy is close to being the twin brother of honesty, but inaccuracy and exaggeration are at least "kissing cousins" of dishonesty. We may bring ourselves to believe almost anything by rationalization, (another of our fine arts), and so it's well to begin and end our inquiry with the question, "Is it true?" Any man who loves to search for truth is precious to any fellowship or society. Any intended violation of honesty stabs the health of not only the doer but the whole fellowship. On the other hand if we are honest to the limit of our ability, the basic appetite for truth in others, which may be dormant but not dead, will rise majestically to join us. Like sobriety, it's the power of example that does the job.
It is much simpler to appear honest, than to be honest. We must strive to be in reality what we appear to be. It is easier to be honest with others than with ourselves. Our searching self-inventories help because the man who knows himself is at least on the doorstep of honesty. When we try to enhance our stature in the eyes of others, dishonesty is there in the shadows. When falsehood even creeps in, we are getting back on the merry-go-round because falsehoods not only disagree with truth, they quarrel with each other. Remember?
It is one thing to devoutly wish the truth may be on your side, and it is quite another to wish sincerely to be on the side of truth. Honesty would seem to be the toughest of our four absolutes and at the same time, the most exciting challenge. Our sobriety is a gift, but honesty is a grace that we must earn and constantly fight to protect and enlarge."Is it true or false?". Let us make that a ceaseless question that we try to answer with all the sober strength and intelligence we have.
 



-- Edited by Rob84 on Thursday 9th of February 2012 12:50:45 AM

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Rob

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Mr_David


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Thanks...Martin for the insight.



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mrthumbscrews


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Rob, I have never heard of the Four Absolutes. But I am deeply moved by them. Each absolute is worthy of a meditation in itself and might be a good topic of discussion at this mornings meeting.

Cheers!

Martin

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Rob84


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mrthumbscrews wrote:

Rob, I have never heard of the Four Absolutes. But I am deeply moved by them. Each absolute is worthy of a meditation in itself and might be a good topic of discussion at this mornings meeting.

Cheers!

Martin

 Martin,  They where part of the original Oxford group program.  Bill integrated a lot of the ideals into the Big book to some extent,  but felt they might scare off some alcoholics.

I don't think they traveled outside of NE Ohio.  I think they are a good yardstick to help measure our growth and something to strive for.

Still progress not perfection.

 



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Jerry F


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I remember those fearsome days of early recovery and also the promise I heard in a most early Al-Anon Family Group meeting for this is the door I came thru to enter AA and the promise was, "If you keep and open mind...you will find help."   My sponsor said it just a bit different, "Put away all manner of things which can come in between you and your recovery." 

Great post Martin...Keep on practicing.   smile



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