I am less sensitive and my feelings are less easily hurt. I no longer take myself so seriously. It didn't used to take much to insult me, to feel that I had been slighted or left on the outside. What happens to me now is not so important. One cause of our drinking was that we couldn't take it, so we escaped the unpleasant situation. We have learned to take it on the chin if necessary and smile. When I am all wrapped up in A.A., I do not notice the personal slights so much. They do not seem to matter so much. I have learned to laugh at self-pity because it's so childish. Am I less sensitive?
#####ROSIE......yeah, i "consider the source" more now.....like when someone says something to me, i ASK, B4 i get all upset....and even then.....i am not responsible for others feelings/ opinions, etc...its like if i am SURE i don' t need to do a Step4 and 8/9, i am ok!!!! insults still trigger me, but i manage myself better....i cut my teeth on being insulted...put down in the cruelest ways.....but now???? as i learn that i really AM ok???? if the person is really insulting/ abusive, i just say "hey i don't own your feelings/ opinions, and i don't associate with this kind of behaviour...God bless and later"......and i am gone!!!! i don't allow it in my life.....i don't have to *suck it up* and take insults...i am a big person, now and i have choice....THAT makes me already free to be able to manage me better.......my drinking was that i could not cope with life....i escaped!!! i just couldn't handle life and its sucky disasters.....so i drank!!! numbed out.....i lived next door to a druggie, and she has awful coping skills too, and she drugged, and i drank...we would get together and get wrecked!!!! we just didn't want to cope anymore......i STILL don't take it on the chin and smile....i set boundaries IMMEDIATELY and if it doesn't stop???? i remove myself from the abusive situation....i don't have to live with it........i am focused on healing and don't need to *go there* with anyone.......i do handle it better, now that i am friends with *boundary making* and that i don't have sub-zero self esteem anymore.....its like "their problem/ inventory, not mine".......i can still get on a pitty pot, but i am aware and i turn to the program and the SOLUTION to my probs.....in my case now??? the only solutions i got is *turn it over* i am being taught a hard lesson here...and i am willing to do what i have to do/ cooperate with the universe in any way i need to to put the brakes on it.......
Meditation for the Day
God's miracle-working power is as manifest today as it was in the past. It still works miracles of change in lives and miracles of healing in twisted minds. When a person trusts wholly in God and leaves to Him the choosing of the day and hour, there is God's miracle-working power becoming manifest in that person's life. So we can trust in God and have boundless faith in His power to make us whole again, whenever he chooses.Prayer for the Day......I pray that I may feel sure that there is nothing that God cannot accomplish in changing my life. I pray that I may have faith in His miracle-working power.
######ROSIE.....well you know even though i am having a hell of a *downer* here??? its like i can FEEL my hp keeing bridles on the demons....he is NOT letting them do great harm to me....he is NOT allowing them to really mess me up badly.....pestering???? yes.......nuisence???? yep.......pain in the derrier???? you bet!!!! but really i gotta say "thank you creator, that U R limiting how bad they can come against me" i guess HP knows that i am sincere about the program and even tho i have kinda "dissed hp" a bit, hp is still cutting me some slack becuz he knows that i have trust issues, and i am WILLING to work it through.....its amazing how far being WILLING can get you.....so TODAY i shall make a CONCERTED and sincere effort to cooperate with my higher power and work the steps on my trust issues..........thank you DONE!!!!
