Hi GG, In the 37 years that I've attended meetings, I've never been to one that didn't end with the "Lord's Prayer". And I've been to meetings north south east and west, including many in CA. There, of course, is no requirement for meetings to end either way, and if the chair person is reading their notes correctly, they should say "for those of you that would like to join us, we will now end in (the lords prayer) "traditional way" or whatever. I'm thinking that they have some special meetings in San Fran to have an alternative (which is cool). But what I think you'll find, from the comments that will be generated here, the most common ending is the prayer.
Me thinks that you might want to file this under "letting go of our old ideas...". I usually just tell myself "this is not a big deal, get over it". It works well.
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Sunday 29th of January 2012 02:12:15 PM
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Sunday 29th of January 2012 02:14:53 PM
One thing that I forget to say. You're free to leave the meeting before the prayer, the meeting is over at that point. People do it all the time and there's no telling if they just need to be somewhere else or they don't care to say the prayer, no harm no foul. You don't have to like it and you don't have to do it.
This is how I would do it, but I can assure you that an attitude of intolerance towards the majority will find us in a room all by ourselves.
(been there lol)
Live and Let Live.
-- Edited by The Addiction Club on Sunday 29th of January 2012 03:42:01 PM
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"Never make someone a priority who makes you an option"
Thanks Lee, I've never seen that version before. I can't see anything offensive about it though I might have once. It looks like something Doctor Bob might have written don't you think? Only two meetings in my area end with the Lord's prayer, and there was only one when I got sober. I remember going to that meeting for the first time and being highly offended by the "Christian rubbish." I never went back. At the time I couldn't swallow what I thought was the religious aspect to AA, my higher power was the group. Other folks had trees flowers and door knobs as their higher powers. Why I felt like that I can't explain in any other way than to say I was nuts at the time. I didn't understand anything but I had an opinion on everything, and my opinions were based in prejudice and ignorance. It's a funny thing though that as I emerged from the other end of the steps, my attitudes had been changed. When I began to have those positive experiences described in the Big Book and the spiiritual life became a reality, I ceased being hung up on religion. I use the word god now because I can't think of a better word to describe what I mean. Similarly I find christian prayers say the things I want to say in a far better way than I could manage myself. Am I religious? No. I consider myself Ngostic which I believe means my faith is based in knowledge gained through experience. These days I don't mind if a meeting chooses to close with the Lord's prayer, in fact it's kinda nice. Great post GG.
God bless Mike.
-- Edited by Fyne Spirit on Sunday 29th of January 2012 08:41:06 PM
I've been trying to get over something that really BUGS me, and I thought posting about it might help -- I can't share about it in my meetings for reasons that will become obvious!
I'm a consultant, engaged for a few months at a company about 50 miles away. That means during the week I've started attending meetings in that area after work, since I don't get home in time to make it to my regular weekday meetings.
One of the things I've always appreciated about AA in San Francisco is its focus on the third tradition and non-denominational approach. I'm not Christian, or religious, and I have my own HP that works for me. At the meetings in this new area, however, they always end with The Lord's Prayer! My favorite part of a meeting is always the holding hands at the end and the recitation of the "we" version of the Serenity Prayer. It really brings the connectedness home for me. At these meetings, though, the religious prayer really jolts me out of the feeling of welcoming and reminds me that these are not "my people."
I've got no choice but to attend meetings in this area for awhile, so I really want to focus on my gratitude that there are meetings there I can attend and getting what I can out of the meetings (and connecting with the many nice people I've met there), but I am having trouble getting past the bad taste in my mouth I'm left with at the end. Any suggestions would be welcome, but it was helpful just to get it out there. Thanks. :)
One thing that I forget to say. You're free to leave the meeting before the prayer, the meeting is over at that point. People do it all the time and there's no telling if they just need to be somewhere else or they don't care to say the prayer, no harm no foul. You don't have to like it and you don't have to do it.
How about just hold hands and stay silent, for yourself, or say your own thoughts for yourself in silence? By the way, the "Serenity Prayer" is highly religious... the AA version is an abbreviation. I was an atheist and almost through the baby out with the bathwater when I learned the origin of the prayer LOL!! (Over it now.)
The Complete Original Prayer for Serenity by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)
God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, Taking, as Jesus did, This sinful world as it is, Not as I would have it, Trusting that You will make all things right, If I surrender to Your will, So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen.
I find the Lord's Prayer to be one that I can make personally meaningful for me whether or not it is tied to a specific religion or not, I do not care. The message of the Lord's Prayer is a good one and that is the reason I do not get hung up on it being "a christian prayer." It speaks to humility, acceptance, doing right by others, giving up my will. When I see people getting all upset over the Lord's Prayer in meetings, I see it as a sign of actually being closed minded and anti-religious. Like most AAs, I agree that being spiritual is good and religious is not what we strive for. However, this does not mean disgard all things religious and refuse to take part in them. If someone wanted to close a meeting with some buddhist reflection, I would be game for that too. Instead of focusing on how upset it makes you feel to say the Lord's Prayer why not confer with your HP and think whether or not he/she/it really cares how you pay homage.
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Great advice, thank you, especially on focusing on the text and meaning behind the Lords Prayer and trying to separate that from the Christian aspect. Not being led into temptation and being able to forgive others their trespasses are always worthy things to ask for. I will try and focus on that. Also, Leeu, that's what I generally do -- hold hands and remain silent. I wouldn't leave the meeting before the end just because I don't want to come across as voicing a strong objection -- I jut prefer ending with the Serenity Prayer since I consider it more inclusive, but I don't want to make a big deal about it to the group. Thank you for the feedback, it will help me feel better about the meetings that I'm grateful are there for me, even though they're different than what I am used to. :)
almost all meetings I've been to this side of the pond close with the short form serenity prayer. Some use the We form (which I personally prefer.) I wouldn't have a problem with the Lord's prayer now as i don't have a problem with the (personal) version of the serenity prayer. as has been said before I try to focus on the words and the sentiments and apply them to me, without the religious aspect. Most english meetings we hold hands, most Scottish meetings I've been to don't. Many meetings have a little chant at the end - it works if you work it, so work it you're worth it. I personally don't join in with that because I feel uncomfortable with the rallying cry approach. Only once, at a very new meeting, was I really uncomfortable, when it was said we should all kneel and say the serenity prayer. I voted with my feet on that one.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
A lot of good things said. I've been to meetings in many of the US Eastern states and they end with the Lord's Prayer, except for the meetings I've gone to in NYC that ended with the Serenity Prayer.
Basically everyone is just doing what everyone else has always done in their local meetings. It's been working so why change, almost all of us get to AA and just do whatever everyone is doing cause our way wasn't working, so we can't really give credit or blame.
I don't think there is any "Christian motive" behind the prayer at meetings, just a bunch of drunks doing whatever it takes to stay sober. I know if I focus on Love, Tolerance and Unity, things will stay in perspective.
Take care,
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Hmmm, I've only been to one meeting that they DID say the Lords prayer at the end. The ones around here (WI) always end with the serenity prayer. Anywho... just take from it what' good and leave the rest. Everything can't be perfect all the time. I think like that, total perfectionist here! Hope you have a great day!
