Hello, I am new to these forums, they were recommended by a friend. I have 220 days sober today.
I'm just now learning the extent of how horrible a person I had become.
Even during my sobriety, my character defects have been damaging and hurtful to the people I love most in this world, and to the person I love more than anything. Whose sobriety is nearly as important to me as my own.
It seems to take extreme measures to make ME see these defects for what they are, but right now it's hard to see anything but the pain I've caused.
I love my sobriety. I've got my children back in my heart where they belong. I have a chance for the first time in my life to be truely happy and to change into a person I actually WANT to be. I just wish all these changes weren't so painful.
I finally have found what I hope to be a great sponser, and I'm hoping for the best. To become a better person, with more than just good intentions.
If anyone reads this, I hope you have a wonderful day.
I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
Welcome, I think many of us had the same feelings. Theres nothing time cant heal, we beat ourselves up worse than anyone else can and no matter how far down the scale we slid, we are able to bounce back and lead healthy productive lives and not go on stepping on everyones lillies lol. Again welcome, I too am new to the forum with little over 2 years sobriety. I still have character defects, I just try not to unleash the beast lol. Good luck to you : )
Welcome Mrs. R I can totally relate to your feelings of guilt and shame over hurting the people you love the most. I rationalized my behavior by telling myself the only one I was hurting was myself. I now realize how untrue that was. Some old timers in my home group often tell me that pain=growth, so pain is something I must go through to get to the other side. Today, I am allowing myself to become the person that the God of my understanding wants me to be, and I am actually starting to like who I am. One day, through the grace of God, I hope to be able to say I love who I am. Sobriety and AA are helping me to learn how to do that, one day at a time. Hope you decide to stick around, and I hope you have a wonderful day too. Peace
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I asked God for all things that I may enjoy life. He gave me life so that I may enjoy all things.
Welcome to "MIP". Congrats dear, on your sober time. It's certainly an achievement any way you look at it. Sobriety offers us so much more, doesn't it? We quickly discover the precious gifts sobriety has to offer. The benefits are endless, even though so few people imagine its effectiveness.It gives us a greater glimpse of a more promising future, beyond the first drink. Call it, a bright and sunny "sober" tomorrow that beckons in delight with each passing day. Each day brings you that much closer, that much happier and much more humble. This is "why" we should stay the course dear, despite all else. And I hope that continues for you...ODAAT.
~God bless~
-- Edited by Mr_David on Wednesday 25th of January 2012 02:35:03 AM
Welcome to the forum! It's always the ones we love that we hurt the most, isn't it? At least it was for ME. I always swore I would never be the alcoholic father like mine was. But guess what, I was well on my way by the time I found the program. My girls were little at the time,and I'm forever grateful that they don't have any memories of it. Every day I'm sober is an amend to them.
Welcome Mrs.R - I recall saying those same things in my first year of sobriety. Especially at around 7 or 8 months, you feel you've been doing this for a while, but in the big scheme of things, you are just scratching the surface. It's a painful time, but it will get better. I promise.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
