Complacency

Tasha · Senior Member

Complacency

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

When we are sick or injured, it is our natural tendency to go through some treatment or to wait over a period of time and then go "Okay, I'm better now." Hence, we all have a tendency to do the same thing with our alcoholism. Unfortunately, this tendency is what drives us back to drinking and that is why AA has been the best long term fix available because the 12 steps are a radical ongoing lifestyle change that lead to continued sobriety, whereas other "treatments" do not offer this. That's my take :)

vixen · MIP Old Timer

For me, I think complacency comes when I drift from a state of gratitude. When I remember to stay grateful, in a state of awe that the grace of God (Higher Power) is working miracles through me, I don't take for granted the blessing that sobriety truly is and what it takes to keep that sobriety in my life. Gratitude is one form of spiritual fitness and combined with working the steps and going to meetings makes up a program where I think I am less likely to "rest on my laurels" and keep doing the good work.

Thanks for bringing up the topic, Tasha. You made me think and helped keep me sober today. :)

Tasha · Senior Member

Vixen, I totally agree (from what little experience I have) that the days I'm not practicing being grateful for things big and small, are the days I don't feel like I'm going up. Some one said last night "I'm either going up... or down". You keep me sober EVERY day Vixen!

Mr_David · MIP Old Timer

Hi Tasha,

Thanks for the topic. I'm glad you chose complacency as a topic. There was a time in my life where complacency ruled unmercifully. Life, as I know it, teetered on the edge of uncertainty because of my complacency, so keeping my guard up is important today. It's crucial to long term sobriety, for sure. This thread will be a reminder of sorts, just in case. So, thank you.

The self satisfaction lifestyle of complacency was a threat to everything, especially my sobriety. I was unaware of the potential dangers that can cause. This momentary act of complacency was quickly dispelled, however, by the shock of a cold reality that was my alcoholism. This dangerous outlook on life was one of the reasons why my active alcoholism lasted so long. I never took the preventive measures to stop drinking. And that's when "AA" comes in. If it wasn't for "AA", I don't know where I'd be.

Complacency was, at one time, a stumbling block to progress. It's a dangerous place to be in -for both the active and sober alcoholic alike. It's not a place I care to visit any time soon. I won't be cruising down the corridors of complacency, for now. Why? "AA'' has been my proving ground ever since, that's why. It's been a thorn in side of complacency, without question. Without "AA'' there are excuses. "AA'', however, puts excuses aside, and puts the alcoholic in a better position to serve both God and us recovering alcoholics -for as long "we" decide. Living to serve is one thing and being complacent is another. How do we put complacency to shame? By serving "AA'' and the greater good, for today. That's how...

~God Bless~

-- Edited by Mr_David on Wednesday 25th of January 2012 03:41:29 AM

Fyne Spirit · MIP Old Timer

Hi Tasha,

thanks for the interesting topic. The bb warns us about resting on our laurels saying we are headed for trouble if we do. But this is said in the context of step 11 and a powerful lot of work as been done to get to this stage. Complacency can be far more subtle and dangerous in the early steps, and as we find our way in AA. My sponsor used to tell me that people come to AA for all sorts of reasons these days, some are even real alcoholics who want to get sober. He warned me that AA is not a mutual admiration society and suggested I stick with the winners - the real alcoholics working the steps. In a way I guess he was telling me not to be complacent about who I listen to in AA. Though not obvious to me at the time I can now see the wisdom in this.

When I came in a the ripe old age of 22 I had monumental and painful problems, I was full of remorse and shame, terrified of drinking because alcohol had stopped working in the way it used to, and with no idea how I could fit into the real world. Recent disasters/episodes were fresh in my mind and the consequences were all around me - no money no friends no job etc. So in a way there were a lot of earthly pressures to get sober and face that tremendous task (what an order I can't go through with it") of taking the steps. And apart from the first three which looked painless enough and, while Self wanted no part of the rest, God had opened that window of opportunity for me and I was desperate enough to step through with both feet. I found the right sponsor, stuck with the winners and one way or another the steps were taken very quickly by today's standards. And life got a whole lot better, the wreckage was gone and I was learning to live in a constructive way without creating more wreckage.

A more complacent approach for me would have been to listen to those who told me the steps were optional, that there was no rush etc. What would have happened to me then. Practically every newcomer to sobriety has a bit of a honeymoon period, and often they recover physically quite quickly. Perhaps they get a job and outstanding court matters are dealt with, people are not getting on their back quite so much, many of the pressing issues appear to be fixed. Relatively speaking, they are a lot better than they were. I see that quite often where someone manages quite a spell of sobriety without doing much on the steps, "my sponsor says to take one step a year". For an alcoholic of my type (beyond human aid) with no effective mental defense against the first drink, that would be about the most dangerous thing I could do. Self would tell me hey, you're doing ok so far, things have got better, the pressure is off, why get involved in those tiresome steps, there is no real need now. The insanity is still there and soon or later I would rationalise that not only do I not need to take the steps, but it is also OK to drink now because it will be different this time da da da... certain death for me.

So instead I took the steps and found through them that the Big Book told the truth. "When tempted we recoil as if from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally for by now (after step 9) sanity has returned .. i.e among the many things that God has done for me, he has provided an effective mental defense against the first drink.

That Window of Opportunity and Willingness (WOW) that we have when we first come in ought not be wasted through complacency for we don't know how long we have before God will close it.

God bless,

Mike H.

masonjones5711 · Member

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