Hi, I was wondering if anyone who has remained sober for a long time could share the time when they noticed the most positive changes. Im aware of the chips you get at different times like 1 month 6 months etc, but at what time of your sobriety did you notice the most positive changes, I remember my 30 day mark and how I noticed a really good change at about one month but at what time did you really feel like you "had it" and were able to start persuing your dream as you wished.
Aloha Brian...I've experienced the "progress" of the program and while there were times when I felt I "had it" I also was aware that I have miles to go. I got my first chip at 16 years alcohol free and that isn't usual in the program. The reason for that is that I came thru the doors of the Al-Anon Family Groups and didn't celebrate anniversaries then. I got into AA after 9 years alcohol free and after taking my very first AA Assessment and turning it into the head nurse in the rehab I was counseling at. The assessment revealed that I had 3 toxic shocks or overdoses when I drank and the head nurse said that if the person the assessment belonged to (I did it anonymously) ever drank again they would die. I had not done any recovery work on the possibility of relapse so HP was bringing me into "sobriety" from being "dry" via the avenue within HP's will. I have never lost the compulsion to drink. I have the compulsion to dring presently which is held in check by and even stronger desire to be sober. When I got my 16 year chip I was ready to leave recovery...meaning both programs. My head and the disease was telling me "I was cured", "I had enough", "I could leave". I'm certain the voice was ready to try to convince me I could handle it now. What I got on the journey to this day which also helps me to this day is in a relapse I would return to where I had left off not to where I had started my drinking. I've got no smart assed, ego centric "but" to that statement since I've witnessed others "go back out" and not return because they had passed on from it. Should God, AA and Al-Anon continue to work in my life until the next Feburary 8th and the desire not to drink continue to trump my compulsion to...I will exchange my 32 year chip for a 33 year chip and continue on one step at a time. Being alive and constantly in the presence of my HP and on hand to do HP's will is the most positive change in my sobriety and that has matured over say....32 years and change.
Do keep coming back. Celebrate your sobriety, every second of it appreciate and be grateful for how you arrived at it and duplicate that one day at a time.
when I became willing to ask for help (asked someone to be a sponser)
after making the decision of the 3rd step
when I felt for myself the pain I had caused during making one of my amends
getting my 1 year chip
But I think real change is a more subtle thing. And when I start thinking in terms of 'I've got it' this is my big fat ego talking. On the other hand, knowing I'm not f...ing up today gives me a sense of freedom to do what I want.
they are all huge hurdles/gains, 30/60/90/6 months/1 year
as time goes on we take these huge quantum leaps forward...it's hard to explain, after we make a breakthrough we get complacent, deep down we think we've evolved, and then we get a pebble in our shoe, mildly irritating, it gets worse, we struggle, it gets excruciating, we hang on, we call our sponsors, we work the steps around it, it gets more and more painful then one day something just -clicks- and we "let go", which is always the answer anyway, then we think we've got it and we get complacent, then we get a pebble in our shoe.....
as time goes on the ups and downs get more gradual, but we need the big breakthroughs early on, but seriously, the biggest realizations for me have always been hindsight because the change is so gradual, I have been on the road the last few days, and business took me past quite a few of my old drinking haunts, early sobriety haunts, my old home town etc and each one brought a fresh realization about how far I have come, my insides are shinier and so are my outsides, it's hard to explain, but I ran into a friend, a GOOD old friend I got sober with and palled around with for 10-15 years, and he asked how I was, I answered, "I can't answer that in an absolute ya know? like good, bad, doesn't have any meaning for me, because it's all good, but I can answer comparatively, as in how am I doing compared to different phases of my life, and the answer is "better"
It might even be, "it couldn't be better"
Others will aware of the changes in you far faster then you are aware of them yourself -provided you work the steps-, the alcoholics that stop drinking and don't work the steps more often get "Oh God it's him again"
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Light a man a fire and he's warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
AFter 2 yrs of doing the 30,60,90 day shuffle in and out the doors of AA mtgs, I knew after my last drunk that I had better sit down, be quiet and listen for a year before I opened my mouth. Besides, what did I know?
1 yr sober was huge for me ... I had finally proven to myself that I could not drink for one whole year.
At 5 yrs many of the teachings of my sponsor were finally beginning to sink in.
And today at 7 yrs without a drink ...one day at a time Im finally beginning to realize that I must practice what Ive learned and apply it to myself , or else it ain't gonna work. Its really just that simple.
For me I felt different when I got a sponsor and actually started working the steps with him. Next when I took step 3 I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Latter when people who knew me when I was drinking said they couldn't believe the changes in me and people who didn't know me when I was drinking said they couldn't believe I was ever a mean selfish drunk. People saw things in me I couldn't see in myself.
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Tell me and I'll forget. Teach me and I'll remember. Involve me and I'll learn.
I know I am immensely different than I was. I am pursuing dreams now that I didn't or couldn't before. There are too many factors and the change was slow and ongoing such that I cannot say for sure when it happened. I guess the biggest changes occurred with break ups, getting a new job...It was when I was clinging to something toxic and used the program to have the courage to walk through it and to let those things go and move on to greener pastures :)
-- Edited by pinkchip on Wednesday 11th of January 2012 10:01:51 AM
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I have not been sober very long.... so you can take this or leave it. I feel I "have it" already, because after working through the first 3 steps, I realized there wasn't anything pushing against me anymore. I CAN do anything! And more importantly, I felt spiritually (for the first time in my life) that something was working WITH me. That I am no longer alone, and I can hand things over to my HP instead of dwell on them in my head. I can sleep at night, knowing I'm in His embrace, that I've made it through the day, and I can make it through tomorrow. And beyond that, I shan't worry.
Welcome, I noticed the most positive changes when I was about 18 months sober. People that was knew me notice it before I did. Some of the people that notice were in/out the fellowship. Thanks for sharing and Keep Coming back!
Looking back there where gradual positive changes through the first year, but I was just going to meetings, doing the steps, working, keeping a low profile and getting legal issues behind me.
Like Carla, between 18-36 months the most positive changes occured, I was gaining confidence, things started clicking and I became comfortable with myself as a sober person.
Got to 'Give time, time"
As the old AA sign at the Cleveland Newburg group said, "Watch well our beginnings, the results will manage themselves".
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
What is longstanding sobriety? I'm working on about 19 hours today as I write this and all we have is today. As others have said when I see where I am today each day. The calm and serenity that I have come to know. When I look at my life and see that the promises are being fulfilled and continue to get better. When I sit with an alcholic that is still suffering and know that but for the grace of God there go I. I can't pin point a day or year or event I just know that positive changes keep happening and I see them later.
Brain asks people with long term sobriety "...at what time did you really feel like you "had it" and were able to start persuing your dream as you wished".
I have been blessed with continuous sobriety for a long time, one day at a time, up to right now as I type. I credit each minute of each day, week, month, year, and decade, with making sure that I NEVER feel like I "have it". I do not live in fear of the past, present, or future, and I pursue my dreams as I wish. I have as much of "it" as I need, but feeling too much like I have "arrived" is, for me, an early warning sign of becoming too complacent or going up onto a "pink cloud' (as in what goes up, must come down). All of "me, sober" is about "progress, not perfection".
Thankyou for all your comments and postings, this all inspires me to stay sober today, and hopefully each day over and over. Sometimes I feel like Ive got things figured out, but sometimes Im not sure
good morning, Brian and all, at 2 years sober i noticed i was calmer and less of an emotional finger pointer. AA is helping me take responsibility for my own feelings. At 3 years sober i have finally noticed my problems are not all about the history of blame. Being a risk taker from birth, i love the adreniline rush, i am learning the difference between acceptable risks and anacceptable risks and the difference between selfish and unselfish. not that i do the right thing all of the time, it is a slow process. being a doer instead of a thinker, i still have some trouble 'thinking actions through' before doing them. 3 years ago i relapsed and i learned a lot during those 6 months on what not to do and realized i was not cured. at 3 years sober i live in wonder at God's love, mercy, and grace. Progress is struggle, but so much better than my drinking life of fear and lonliness, having low self esteem, while blindly insisting i can do this life on my own. With AA the blessings just keep rolling in. jj/sheila
This is a programme of action and there was plenty of that in my first two years. That was when all the major changes took place, boy it was an exciting time. I call them major changes but I guess some might be trivial in other people's eyes. And each only became apparent in hind sight. That was the amazing thing, none of these changes/miracles were my work. As far as I can remember real changes began with the 3rd step at once followed by the forth and fifth. The pace of change wasn't set by time, 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, it was set by action on the steps. Read page 75, it's all true but you can't imagine what it feels like unless you have taken that step. So within the first year I had taken all the steps and begun to try and live this programme and great things came to pass for me as promised, and still do as a matter of fact. I was 22 when I came in and a well and truly hopeless case. Don't go thinking I was gifted with any particular insight or talent in working the steps so quickly. In fact I was one of the stupidest people ever to come to AA. the alcohol had reduced my IQ to about my shoe size, I had basically lost the power to think. I stupidly and gullably believed everything I was told and just got on with it to the best I my limited ability. I had no fight left in me, I was utterly defeated. I was however, willing as only the dying can be. The steps brought the changes and the changes were unplanned and became known to me only in hindsight. What a wonderful programme this is. God bless, Mike H.
