i decided that wendy/ amanda and rick are right!!!! i belong ANYwhere i THINK i belong.....
so i am gonna post as i dang well please becuz i know my posts help / reach people......so here is my take on "JUSTICE"
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Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you're a man, you take it. --Malcolm X
It does little good to complain about our mates or parents or lovers. We only accentuate our role as victims when we say, "I would be happier if he/she were different." "If he would just get off my back, I would act better." We each have a side, which is loyal to the victim within. Some of us take comfort in acting helpless and being taken care of; some of us relish the power of being catered to; some of us wallow in self-pity. These patterns of thought retard our recovery and put a drag on our relationships. When we decide that we aren't willing to live this way any longer, we are ready to assert our independence.
########ROSIE......oh yeah, i complained about EVERYTHING.....my past/ my whatever was in my life.....my bookeeping busines...my relationships.....my victimization.....my bad karma...my curse!!! really, sick as it sounds, i thought i was cursed....someone told me that when a man sins as greately as my father did, God curses the generation down to 4 or 7??? i forgot, but it shattered me to hear this!!!! like i had to pay for HIS crap???? HIS crime?????? i thought it was true, so i gave up thinking that any God would help me/ guide me, i thought i had drawn a prison sentence/ buring off bad karma for life, and that was IT!!! END of coversation.......so i became more and more bitter....more and more on my pitty party.....more and more resentful!!!! it ate me!!!! FIRST i was horribly wounded/ staggering from the blows, and i gotta burn off HIS karma??????? THAT was the finishing touch on my journey into hatred/resentment to God/Life..............than life just SO broke me down.....beat me down....i gave up!!!! and that was when i abused alcohol to numb this crap out!!!!!! i gave up but i didn't know what/where/to whom to give up......but i did GIVE UP!!!!!! after suicide attempt #.. i got into recovery and found OUT that i can stop the so called *curse* by my accepting defeat.....my WILLINGNESS to surrender....my COMITTMENT to changing me/ my beliefs/ my attitudes.....i could break FREE of the *curse*......i later figured it out that the reason that is said, now this is MY take only.......however, i think they got that belief, Bcuz so many messed up familys continue ON the dysfunction!!! its a CHOICE!!!!!! we can break our *curses* ANY time we DECIDE to take responsibility for our lives.......surrender to a HP as we understand it......WORK the program!!!! i am breaking my *curse*....i am dismantelling it piece by piece by TAKING my life back, by GIVING it over to my HP who WANTS me to flourish!!!!!!! i asserted my INdependence by dragging my sick, little ass into recovery!!!!!! so i TAKE my justice by my CHOICE to work on me/ take care of me/ nurture me/ accept me/ love me and than SPREAD it around!!!!!! THANK YOU......ROSIE
Real emancipation can't come at someone else's initiative or as a gift. It can only begin from within, by saying, "I will take my independence." Then we begin to be responsible people because we own it on the inside.Today, I will not wait for others to set me free. I will do what is within my own power to be a free spirit.
######ROSIE......REAL emancipation comes from my CHOOSING it!!!!!! my getting to the basics of loving /caring for/ accepting me!!!!! setting my boundaries......asserting that it IS indeed "my turn now" doing all i can to help my HP, help me.....sow good seed today for my *tomorow good harvest*.......make what changes in me i have to make to be a more healthy/ productive spirit......... TODAY i am going to do what is within ME, to own my power/ take back my life AS i align myself with and cooperate with my HP of my understanding.......
Good for you, I always get something out of your posts. I also belong to NA and in there reading there's a part that goes "The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using, your a member when you say you are." Then the group chants "I Are." Take care, Bob.
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Work like you don't need the money
Love like you've never been hurt, and
dance like no one is watching.
Welcome back Rosie.....Only you can decide what you need to do. Everyone has an opinion and a right to say what they want. I choose to take what I like and leave the rest. But you are with a group of passionate people, so expect some experience, strength and hope.
Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.
The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
There are no dues or fees for AA membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions. AA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization, or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any other causes.
Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
alcohol is something i abused BCUZ , to me, i have problems....i like to work the literature, giving my take/ esh/ on the literature and i work the STEPS.., along with my daily struggles/triumphs as part of my entire recovery program.......as long as i am giving help/hope to others as i work on my program than i know i am doing my job.....i want to know about me ALL about me so i CAN lead a sober and healthy life......
WHY i drank too much??? WHAT pains was i trying to numb???? what are the things i am running away from?????? AS i get to know me....AS i work the program in the best way that works for me, i am finding the WHY's and the HOW's i got this way, and the WHY's i had to numb out!!!!!!!! i don't want to focus so much on the alcohol abuse, but the SOLUTION.....WHY i did it!!! and the SOLUTION to it (getting to know my shortcommings/weaknesses so i can do steps 4,5,6,7, on them AND 8/9 if needed)
i am too busy working on me/ my problems to care how someone else works their program, but only to say to them "hey God bless and hope U do well".........if i don't like the way someone is posting???? i use the sugesstion *take what works...leave the rest*......
i am getting the message here that i am to post in a certain way....that i am to work my recovery in a certain way.......i am going to keep my focus on me/ the 12Steps/ the literature/ diferent 12Step meetings/ sponser work......i know i am on the *right track* thats all that should matter!!!!!
i thought i was free to work my program in what ever way is gonna keep me mentally/ emotionally as WELL AS physically sober.......can i please "think outside of the box too???" the MORE i work this program......the LESS attraction alcohol has to me!!! that is FACT....BCUZ i work these boards, and i give and receive ESH.....and i approach this program with TOTAL honesty......orthodox or no, i am DEDICATED/ and COMMITTED to getting well.....
the bottom line????? i read the diferent posts, and if i can offer some ESH to that person, i do.....if not???? i move on and and i "LIVE AND LET LIVE"...... i also know this!!! i will use alcohol if i dont' work my program...i am on several boards Becuz i am also a codependent and an acoa i also qualify for alanon Bcuz i have 2 alkie brothers with whom i have to deal........i see posts from folks on more than one board, and i say "HOOOORAY for them!!! they are REALLY working their program to be so committed like that"........i "let it begin with me" and i TRY to "keep it simple" and i most DEFLINITELY "live and let live" if i am "in someone ELSES face" i am not keeping the focus on me/ my issues/ my recovery...........thank you DONE
