Someone has asked i write an introductory thread so i thought i'd go with that .
I'm an alcoholic , 290lb heavy metalloving skinhead from south london in the Uk . I'm trying to follow the bhuddist way as it's what chimes with me for spiritual growth . I try not to define my higher power to others too much as i don't think it's wise to look that "gift horse in the mouth too much" .
I have lived a few years in france , after selling my house and new car in the uk , telling myself i was "living the dream that i was retired" , rather than persuing and indulging in my alcoholism . Work and living in the uk were getting in the way of it .
Before moving i runney pooed myself in a taxi whilst in a blackout and had four teeth kicked out and some of my face sliced , strangely i blamed the uk and not my drinking for getting me into yet another life threatning situation . Thus the move ...
Then i opend a business in france and drank myself into oblivion most days ignoring any work offers for 3 years untill i'd spent all my monies and maxed out my credit cards . I contemplated suicide at that time but strangely had a moment of grace , much like i had a few years later when i achieved step 1 .
Still hadn't had enough of the boozing , luckily my mum took me in . After being out the uk "system" for a few years and walking out of my job all those years ago i did'nt get benifits / unemployment . Mum has paranoid schitsophrenia so she self medicates with drink , she understood my habbit and supported me for a year (not my proudest moment buming drink off my sick mum ) .
Strangely i managed to get a job back in industrial electronics and got by on 2 bottles of wine a night and two or three litres of gin at the weekend , did'nt drink on my standby week though .
That was me for maybe three years then , in june of this year i had a work medical after a weekend "out of it" and had a blood pressure of 180/129 ... still hadn't had enough punishment and carried on drinking....
That was it till my gran died 1am on the 1st of sept this year . This was of course , for me , just another excuse to wallow in self pitty and get drunk .. i was also drunk in charge of an internet that night and sent daft messages to someone i really admire for their 25 year sobriety .. it was all a big black out , the next morning i was soberish was the 3rd . That was when i had a profound spiritual change after reading the AA book online ( for about the 1000th time this centuary , this time it worked , i got it , i was all out of fight ) , it's now 109 not drinkingdays on and i'm working on me , my life , my spiritual life ... day by day , hour by hour , min by min , step by step to grow and learn .
thanks for the experience , friendship and honesty on these boards , londan
-- Edited by londan on Wednesday 21st of December 2011 03:29:14 PM
Hey Londan, that's one heck of intro thread right there! We have several favorite poster from the UK, and NZ if you haven't met them already. Welcome to the clan.
Welcome, Londan and thanks for sharing a bit about yourself here. Look forward to more posts from you. :)
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I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
Hey Londan thought I'd say hello too. I work in central London and do meetings around here and elsewhere! I don't get to this site very often these days. Just too busy, but it's a great site. Others Brits are regs on here.
