I may have mentioned it before but I've been going through a phase (the last decade or so) of being vehemently anti-religion, anti-god and anti-pretty much anything to do with spirituality. I devoured atheist literature, joined atheist Facebook groups and took every opportunity to mock and belittle those with strong religious views and convictions. If you were a "believer" you were automatically a less intelligent, less evolved human being than me. For some reason over the last few days it hit me like an epiphany, who the hell am I to condem anyone? I had turned into such an athiest zealot that I'd become the kind of judgmental, small minded, jerk like those on the other side who I couldn't stand.
I don't think I'm going to be that way anymore. I may not agree with religious people. I may still feel compelled to protest their influence over things like medical research, science, politics, etc., but I don't have to hate, judge or condemn a person solely based on their spiritual beliefs.
It may not sound like much but for me this was kind of a big deal. 12 years of catholic school can make a personrabidly anti-god and everything connected to man-defined spirituality.
And on a side note, how come when I post from my phone it won't allow me to have breaks for paragraphs? It makes me look like a ranting, rambling, lunatic :/
AA lit and personal experiences describe much of what you have gone through. I felt I believed in something with out being able to have any sense of what that is. When I found AA, I was completely distanced from thinking about anything outside of my negative mind. I also thought of anyone with religion as a simple-minded drone. I still struggle with that mind-set even tho my true beliefs now have changed and opened up. The bottom line is realizing that I am not running the show, who am I to say, I am not the holder of absolut truths, I'm but a part. This is big. I believe in 12x12 this is described as the doorway or keyhole. It's all that's needed, for the world of possibility to open up, as opposed to the world of negativity, which when I was drinking was shrinking in on me ever faster.
My journey lead me to conclude that I needn't figure out who or what God is. Only to ask the question 'who was I to sit in judgement of God?' The only answer that makes sense to me is I am not qualified to sit in judgement of God, so I need to stop trying.
Tipsy, I have always believed in God- of sorts. Not in the Christian sense but in an intelligent power that by its nature couldn't be defined. However, I know what you mean about Catholic school. I was never in Catholic school but was subjected to some extreme fundamentalist Christian BS as a kid and went through a period where I HATED anything to do with "God" (even though I always believed what I will call, for lack of a better word, "God"). I even defaced my Bible as a teenager, all sorts of stuff. My sister is still angry with religion and a proud atheist on fb.
The universe and all the possibilities are pretty amazing. Unfortunately, a lot of people can mess this up and hurt others in the name of anything they want. I am glad you had your Eureka moment! Being kind is always good, I think. It's hard to be kind to yourself when you are angry at a lot of other people.
I wonder if this means I should take the silver fish off the back of my car that says "sushi" instead of "jesus". I was going to get the fish that has feet and said "Darwin" but I figured the sushi fish mocked two pompous, self-righteous groups so I went for it instead. It also has a little pair of chopsticks on it. I thought it was very clever :)
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
-- Edited by vixen on Thursday 15th of December 2011 12:15:33 AM
-- Edited by vixen on Thursday 15th of December 2011 12:16:01 AM
__________________
I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
