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StPeteDean


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I've been waiting for someone to upload this. Step 1 (12 steps and 12 traditions)
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The 12 Steps and 12 Traditions  online (PDF) with index!

http://12and12.net/pdfs.html

I'll start loading 1 step a week for discussion. 

 

Step One
"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol -
that our lives had become unmanageable."
WHO cares to admit complete defeat? Practically no one, of course. Every natural instinct cries out against
the idea of personal powerlessness. It is truly awful to admit that, glass in hand, we have warped our
minds into such an obsession for destructive drinking that only an act of Providence can remove it from us.

No other kind of bankruptcy is like this one. Alcohol, now become the rapacious creditor, bleeds us of all
self-suffciency and will to resist its demands. Once this stark fact is accepted, our bankruptcy as going
human concerns is complete.
But upon entering A.A. we soon take quite another view of this absolute humiliation. We perceive that
only through utter defeat are we able to take our first steps toward liberation and strength. Our
admissions of personal powerlessness finally turn out to be firm bedrock upon which happy and
purposeful lives can be built.

We know that little good can come to any alcoholic who joins A.A. unless he has first accepted his
devastating weakness and all its consequences. Until he so humbles himself, his sobriety - if any - will be
precarious. Of real happiness he will find none at all. Proved beyond any doubt by an immense experience,
this is one of the facts of A.A. life. The principle that we shall find no enduring strength until we first admit
complete defeat is the main taproot from which our whole society has sprung and flowered.

When first challenged to admit complete defeat, most of us revolted. We had approached A.A. expecting to
be taught self-confidence. Then we had been told that so far as alcohol is concerned, self-confidence was
no good whatever; in fact it was a total liability. Our sponsors declared we were the victims of a mental
obsession so subtly powerful that no amount of human willpower could break it.

There was, they said, no
such thing as the personal conquest of this complusion by the unaided will. Relentlessly deepening our
dilemma, our sponsors pointed out our increasing sensitivity to alcohol - an allergy, they called it. The
tyrant alcohol wielded a double-edged sword over us: first we were smitten by an insane urge that
condemned us to go on drinking, and then by an allergy of the body that insured we would ultimately
destroy ourselves in the process. Few were those who, so assailed, had ever won through in singlehanded
combat. It was a statistical fact that alcoholics almost never recovered on their own resources. And this
had been true, apparently, ever since man had first crushed grapes.

In A.A.'s pioneering time, none but the most desperate cases could swallow and digest this unpalatable
truth. Even these "last-gaspers" often had difficulty in realizing how hopeless they actually were. But a
few did, and when these laid hold of the A.A. principles with all the fervor with which the drowning seize
life preservers, they almost invariably got well. That is why the first edition of the book "Alcoholics
Anonymous," published when our membership was small, dealt with low-bottom cases only. Many less
desperate alcoholics tried A.A., but did not succeed because they could not make the admission of
hopelessness.

It is a tremendous satisfaction to record that in the following years this changed. Alcoholics who still had
their health, their families, their jobs, and even two cars in the garage, began to recognize their alcoholism.
As this trend grew, they were joined by young people who were scarely more than potential alcoholics.
They were spared that last ten or fifteen years of literal hell the rest of us had gone through. Since Step
One requires an admission that our lives have become unmanageable, how could people such as these take
this Step?

It was obviously necessary to raise the bottom the rest of us had hit to the point where it would hit them.
By going back in our own drinking histories, we could show that years before we realized it we were out of
control, that our drinking even then was no mere habit, that it was indeed the beginning of a fatal
progression. To the doubters we could say, "Perhaps you're not a real alcoholic after all. Why don't you try
some more controlled drinking, bearing in mind what we have told you about alcoholism?" This attitude
brought immediate and practical results. It was then discovered that when one alcoholic had planted in
the mind of another the true nature of his malady, that person could never be the same again. Following
every spree, he would say to himself, "Maybe those A.A.'s were right.... " After a few such experiences,
often years before the onset of difficulties, he would return to us convinced. He had hit bottom as truly as
any of us. John Barleycorn himself had become our best advocate.

Why all this insistance that every A.A. must hit bottom first? The answer is that few people will sincerely
try to practive the A.A. program unless they have hit bottom. For practicing the A.A.'s remaining eleven
Steps means the adoption of attitudes and actions that almost no alcoholic who is still drinking can dream
of taking. Who wishes to be rigorously honest and tolerant? Who wants to confess his faults to another and
make restitution for harm done? Who cares anything about a Higher Power, let alone meditation and
prayer? Who wants to sacrifice time and energy in trying to carry A.A.'s message to the next sufferer? No,
the average alcoholic, self-centered in the extreme, doesn't care for this prospect -- unless he has to do
these things in order to stay alive himself.

Under the lash of alcoholism, we are driven to A.A. and there we discover the fatal nature of our situation.
Then, and only then, do we become as open-minded to conviction and as willing to listen as the dying can
be. We stand ready to do anything which will lift the merciless obsession from us.



-- Edited by StPeteDean on Wednesday 7th of December 2011 05:08:39 PM

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SeekingSerenity


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We know that little good can come to any alcoholic who joins A.A. unless he has first accepted his
devastating weakness and all its consequences. Until he so humbles himself, his sobriety - if any - will be
precarious. Of real happiness he will find none at all. Proved beyond any doubt by an immense experience,
this is one of the facts of A.A. life. The principle that we shall find no enduring strength until we first admit
complete defeat is the main taproot from which our whole society has sprung and flowered.

This confuses the h@@@ out of me. Did I not do this when I cried for days, did I not do this when I no longer wanted to be alive, didn`t this happen when I left my family home and moved to a town to immerse myself in recovery? I could go on and on about how I felt and what I did on sobering up yet again.
I just feel that there is a blockage here for me. That I have not had a spiritual awakening. I feel disconnected in my daily prayers/mediation. I do all the do things because all that is left for me is to do as my sponsor says and that is to keep doing what I am doing until one day it just works.



-- Edited by SeekingSerenity on Thursday 8th of December 2011 09:50:44 AM

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Stepchild


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Have you taken the 12 steps SS?

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Stepchild


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I mean are living the steps daily?

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SeekingSerenity


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I try to live by ``do the next right thing``

I thought I had done steps 1,2,3 and was waffling on step 4
I do try and look at my day each night and when I am wrong promptly admit it. I try and help when I can and I get to as many meetings and do as much service work as I can. I pray am and pm
Some of the things said in the speaker tape really hit home for me. Every single time I have failed I have come back with the answer to why I failed. Didn`t have a sponsor, didn`t work step 4, didn`t go to enough meetings. So I do what I think I didn`t do before and although every time my quality is better and my sober time is longer, invariable something happens.

If the fact is you must have a spiritual awakening I might be in trouble.

My sponsor says that the longest 6 inches are from the head to the heart. God knows I have all the knowledge that I can find in my head. I just keep looking and listening to find whatever it is that is missing. Maybe 1 day I will wake up and realize that it is in my heart too.

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LinBabaAgo-go


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SeekingSerenity wrote:

I try to live by ``do the next right thing``

I thought I had done steps 1,2,3 and was waffling on step 4
I do try and look at my day each night and when I am wrong promptly admit it. I try and help when I can and I get to as many meetings and do as much service work as I can. I pray am and pm
Some of the things said in the speaker tape really hit home for me. Every single time I have failed I have come back with the answer to why I failed. Didn`t have a sponsor, didn`t work step 4, didn`t go to enough meetings. So I do what I think I didn`t do before and although every time my quality is better and my sober time is longer, invariable something happens.

If the fact is you must have a spiritual awakening I might be in trouble.

My sponsor says that the longest 6 inches are from the head to the heart. God knows I have all the knowledge that I can find in my head. I just keep looking and listening to find whatever it is that is missing. Maybe 1 day I will wake up and realize that it is in my heart too.

 Heya SS, this actually isn't a Program of "insight" so much as it is a program of action, if we could think ourselves sober there wouldn't be much of a need for AA

In the appendix about spiritual experience, it describes what one actually is

Which, upon careful reading, shows that the personality change sufficient to recover from alcoholism

that's it, a personality change, and it's arrived that by working the steps

 

you have millions of people standing in the second story of a building inviting you to come up, "I can't" you say, "I have tried everything"

uh huh, walk up the steps

but I can't, I can't do it!!!

have you tried walking up the steps?

but I keep failing, I can't do it!!!

uh huh...we did it by walking up these steps here...would you like us to show you how?

but I keep failing,  I can't....

what specifically is the reason you can't have a spiritual experience, ie a personality change sufficient to recover from alcoholism?

the fact you say you have worked step three leads me to believe you don't have a problem with the spiritual aspect of the program, but the truth is, step 3 is just a decision to work steps 4-9, steps 4-9 are step 3 broken down into bite sized pieces

Here is a brief description of the steps


Here is a way to do step 3 as a non christian, atheist, or agnostic

 

If you have any questions, please feel free to PM me, but I don't really buy the "I can't" product you are trying to sell until you get a sponsor and work the steps, because it's just not true

that's like saying you can't ride a bicycle before you ever tried, it's just not sound critical thinking, it's fear based thinking based on fantasy, which is what is keeping you stuck, your very thinking is what is causing these relapses, we have some experience with this in AA

My name is Andrew, my PM box is open 24/7, please feel free to ask me any questions, I don't bite



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SeekingSerenity


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Hey Andrew thanks for the reply specifically thanks for the link to steps and step 3. I have navigated around this site some but this appeared to be the most active board. I will however go and have a look at the links

Your reply has me doing some real soul searching on how I present myself and my thoughts and my feelings. I am getting the message from your reply that you think I am saying `I can`t``
I have read and reread my posts and I don`t see the ``I can`t`` I do admit that I am ``waffling`` on step 4 Specifically what this means is that I have not sat down and done an honest step 4 I am scared to death to revisit the events that I caused, pain that I created for the people that I love. I didn`t say I can`t. I haven`t is more the case.

``I just feel that there is a blockage here for me. That I have not had a spiritual awakening. I feel disconnected in my daily prayers/mediation. I do all the do things because all that is left for me is to do as my sponsor says and that is to keep doing what I am doing until one day it just works.``
The part above that I copied and pasted is what has me worried.
However I like what you said ``Which, upon careful reading, shows that the personality change sufficient to recover from alcoholism``

So I plan to keep doing what I am doing

It is entirely possible that I am not being patient enough to be satisfied with the fact that I am living a sober life and doing the right things. It is possible that because I have not experienced a white light profound moment that my fear of returning to drinking is intensified. I am absolutely the type of person who wants things yesterday. Maybe my lesson of the day is patience.

`` but I don't really buy the "I can't" product you are trying to sell until you get a sponsor and work the steps, because it's just not true```

Umm I do have a sponsor, I have posted a #of posts on here that mention how highly I think of her and of her advise. including the post on here. But I will put step 4 and 5 squarely on my to do list.

Lastly I hope that you understand I do appreciate your advise. I will also have a hard look at what it is I am telling myself because if what I say causes you or others to think I am operating in an "I can't " mode, maybe that is what my brain is getting too.



-- Edited by SeekingSerenity on Thursday 8th of December 2011 03:31:52 PM

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Stepchild


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Start by getting some white paper and a black pen or pencil...Follow the Directions...and don't forget step 12 says...

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.



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Stepchild


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And it wasn't any burning bush for me either...It was better...It was serenity.



-- Edited by Stepchild on Thursday 8th of December 2011 03:55:21 PM

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LinBabaAgo-go


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SeekingSerenity wrote:

Hey Andrew thanks for the reply specifically thanks for the link to steps and step 3. I have navigated around this site some but this appeared to be the most active board. I will however go and have a look at the links

Your reply has me doing some real soul searching on how I present myself and my thoughts and my feelings. I am getting the message from your reply that you think I am saying `I can`t``
I have read and reread my posts and I don`t see the ``I can`t`` I do admit that I am ``waffling`` on step 4 Specifically what this means is that I have not sat down and done an honest step 4 I am scared to death to revisit the events that I caused, pain that I created for the people that I love. I didn`t say I can`t. I haven`t is more the case.

``I just feel that there is a blockage here for me. That I have not had a spiritual awakening. I feel disconnected in my daily prayers/mediation. I do all the do things because all that is left for me is to do as my sponsor says and that is to keep doing what I am doing until one day it just works.``
The part above that I copied and pasted is what has me worried.
However I like what you said ``Which, upon careful reading, shows that the personality change sufficient to recover from alcoholism``

So I plan to keep doing what I am doing

It is entirely possible that I am not being patient enough to be satisfied with the fact that I am living a sober life and doing the right things. It is possible that because I have not experienced a white light profound moment that my fear of returning to drinking is intensified. I am absolutely the type of person who wants things yesterday. Maybe my lesson of the day is patience.

`` but I don't really buy the "I can't" product you are trying to sell until you get a sponsor and work the steps, because it's just not true```

Umm I do have a sponsor, I have posted a #of posts on here that mention how highly I think of her and of her advise. including the post on here. But I will put step 4 and 5 squarely on my to do list.

Lastly I hope that you understand I do appreciate your advise. I will also have a hard look at what it is I am telling myself because if what I say causes you or others to think I am operating in an "I can't " mode, maybe that is what my brain is getting too.



-- Edited by SeekingSerenity on Thursday 8th of December 2011 03:31:52 PM

 Aaaaah, this very thing is addressed in the back of the book: I have found it to be 100% accurate, I have persoanlly never met a "white lighter" that made it

 

The terms spiritual experience and spiritual awakening are used many times in this book which, upon careful reading, shows that the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism has manifested itself among us in many different forms.

Yet it is true that our first printing gave many readers the impression that these personality changes, or religious experiences, must be in the nature of sudden and spectacular upheavals. Happily for everyone, this conclusion is erroneous.

In the first few chapters a number of sudden revolutionary changes are described. Though it was not our intention to create such an impression, many alcoholics have nevertheless concluded that in order to recover they must acquire an immediate and overwhelming God-consciousness followed at once by a vast change in feeling and outlook.

Among our rapidly growing membership of thousands of alcoholics such transformations, though frequent, are by no means the rule. Most of our experiences are what the psychologist William James calls the educational variety because they develop slowly over a period of time. Quite often friends of the newcomer are aware of the difference long before he is himself. He finally realizes that he has undergone a profound alteration in his reaction to life; that such a change could hardly have been brought about by himself alone. What often takes place in a few months could seldom have been accomplished by years of self-discipline. With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves.

Most of us think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience. Our more religious members call it God-consciousness.

Most emphatically we wish to say that any alcoholic capable of honestly facing his problems in the light of our experience can recover, provided he does not close his mind to all spiritual concepts. He can only be defeated by an attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial.

We find that no one need have difficulty with the spirituality of the program. Willingness, honesty and open mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indispensable.



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billyjack


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SeekingSerenity wrote:

So I plan to keep doing what I am doing

  A wise old timer told me once.. actually he told me all the time as I wined about this, that and the other..."Keep Doin What Your Doin And You'll Keep Gettin What Your Gettin"   I wanted what he had, so I did what he did. It was ALL the steps, as best I could. And then I kept doing them.

Crap happens and life is tough. And the only thing they really prommised me here, is that if I keep living in the solution, ( STEPS ) life would be ok, even if it wasn't. Kinda like drinkin when it worked.   When life got ok and I stopped wineing, he aked me how it was going. I told him good. He said " Keep Doin What Your Doin, and You'll Keep Gettin What Your Gettin."  With A big ole grin   



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StPeteDean


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billyjack wrote:

  A wise old timer told me once.. actually he told me all the time as I wined about this, that and the other..."Keep Doin What Your Doin And You'll Keep Gettin What Your Gettin"  

 or "keep walking around with your head up your @$$ and you'll be experiencing the same old ****"  biggrin



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SeekingSerenity


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Thank you so much to everyone that posted. Especially this post

Yet it is true that our first printing gave many readers the impression that these personality changes, or religious experiences, must be in the nature of sudden and spectacular upheavals. Happily for everyone, this conclusion is erroneous

I could only laugh with relief when I read that. I thought wow I have read the BB a # of times where the heck does it say that?

My sponsor has tried to tell me that I have had a spiritual experience or else I could not be doing the things I am doing with the belief that I did have. She also said that this doubt I am now having is going to cause me to drink again and she questioned if I was not setting a stage. She also said ( she says a lot lol) that I am to put away all the other literature that I have been reading with the exception of the BB and the 12x12 and to read those daily.

So I don`t think I will feel a blockage this morning when I say an extra thanks for having found this board at a time when I needed an extra something.

Have a great day everyone

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