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Post Info TOPIC: When do you think is a good time to sponsor someone?


MIP Old Timer

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When do you think is a good time to sponsor someone?
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My sponsor suggested when I was on step 7 or around 6 months, I personally think thats too soon as I would like at least a year and to have gone through the steps... thoughts? thanks



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MIP Old Timer

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Your sponsor is always right. A new comer doesn't need to know a lot and we learn while we teach others. When the teacher is ready the student will appear.

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MIP Old Timer

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Nothing in the BB says how long you should take....Can't even find the word sponsor in the first 164 pages...A couple stories in the back might mention it. I think having completed the steps is a given. If I could find something even close to sponsorship in the BB it would be this...

...God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us. Abandon yourself to God as you understand...



-- Edited by Stepchild on Monday 5th of December 2011 10:43:47 PM

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MIP Old Timer

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Hey Steve,check out AA approved pamphlet believe its p-15  SPONSORSHIP,nothing really definitive but little guidedline...Good to see you working man,praying for YOU  and In support..smilesmile WE DIDNT BECOME ADDICTED OVERNITE,SO EASY DOES IT!!!



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I was my first sponsor's first sponsee. She had been sober for a year. While I am very grateful for her guidance and help when I first got into the program, I think the fact that my current sponsor has been sober for seven years and has had many sponsees has been a big factor in my getting a lot more out of working the program with her. I'm not saying there's any minimum time to becoming a sponsor, but time and experience can bring more wisdom to share with potential sponsees.

GG

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MIP Old Timer

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I agree with that....I'm just glad Bill and Dr. Bob didn't wait 7 years...None of us would be here.

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MIP Old Timer

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Steve,

A lot of good things said here, best to get through all the steps yourself and read the sponsorship pamplet as Mike suggested.

I've made mistakes in the past agreeing to sponsor, then they won't do the work or drift off.

I think it's always good to get a commitment from them if you commit to sponsor them. I ask, what are you willing to do to stay sober? Are you willing to get active and go to X# of meetings per week, get active, work the 12 steps and continue to help others in the future?



-- Edited by Rob84 on Tuesday 6th of December 2011 12:07:38 AM

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MIP Old Timer

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Where can I get the pamphlet?

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MIP Old Timer

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I like old school AA....Can't get enough of it. The guy who wrote it should have been one of the founders of AA with Bill W. and Dr. Bob. He started the first Cleveland group which he called Alcoholics  Anonymous. I think he and Bill W. just kind of clashed a bit. Couple of headstrong alkies.

A.A. Sponsorship Pamphlet

1944 - by Clarence S.

This is the first pamphlet ever written concerning sponsorship. It was written by Clarence H. S. in early 1944. Its original title was to be "A.A. Sponsorship...Its Obligations and Its Responsibilities." It was printed by the Cleveland Central Committee under the title: "A.A. Sponsorship... Its Opportunities and Its Responsibilities."

PREFACE

Each member of Alcoholics Anonymous is a potential sponsor of a new member and should clearly recognize the obligations and duties of such responsibility.

The acceptance of an opportunity to take the A.A. plan to a sufferer of alcoholism entails very real and critically important responsibilities. Each member, undertaking the sponsorship of a fellow alcoholic, must remember that he is offering what is frequently the last chance of rehabilitation, sanity or maybe life itself.

Happiness, Health, Security, Sanity and Life of human beings are the things we hold in balance when we sponsor an alcoholic.

No member among us is wise enough to develop a sponsorship program that can be successfully applied in every case. In the following pages, however, we have outlined a suggested procedure, which supplemented by the member's own experience, has proven successful.

PERSONAL GAINS OF BEING A SPONSOR

No one reaps full benefit from any fellowship he is connected with unless he whole-heartedly engages in its important activities. The expansion of Alcoholics Anonymous to wider fields of greater benefit to more people results directly from the addition of new, worth-while members or associates.

Any A.A. who has not experienced the joys and satisfaction of helping another alcoholic regain his place in life has not yet fully realized the complete benefits of this fellowship. On the other hand, it must be clearly kept in mind that the only possible reason for bringing an alcoholic into A.A. is for that person's gain. Sponsorship should never be undertaken to -

1. Increase the size of the group
2. For personal satisfaction and glory
3. Because the sponsor feels it his duty to re-make the world

Until an individual has assumed the responsibility of setting a shaking, helpless human being back on the path toward becoming a healthy useful, happy member of society, he has not enjoyed the complete thrill of being an A.A.

SOURCE OF NAMES

Most people have among their own friends and acquaintances someone who would benefit from our teachings. Others have names given to them by their church, by their doctor, by their employer, or by some other member, who cannot make a direct contact.

Because of the wide range of the A.A. activities, the names often come from unusual and unexpected places.
These cases should be contacted as soon as all facts such as: marital status, domestic relations, financial status, drink habits, employment status and others readily obtainable are at hand.

IS THE PROSPECT A CANDIDATE?

Much time and effort can be saved by learning as soon as possible if -

1. The man* really has a drinking problem?
2. Does he know he has a problem?
3. Does he want to do something about his drinking?
4. Does he want help?

*The masculine form is used throughout for simplicity, although it is intended to include women as well.

Sometimes the answers to these questions cannot be made until the prospect has had some A.A. instruction, and an opportunity to think. Often we are given names, which upon investigation, show the prospect is in no sense an alcoholic, or is satisfied with his present plan of living. We should not hesitate to drop these names from our lists. Be sure, however, to let the man know where he can reach us at a later date.

WHO SHOULD BECOME MEMBERS?

A.A. is a fellowship of men and women bound together by their inability to use alcohol in any form sensibly, or with profit or pleasure. Obviously, any new members introduced should be the same kind of people, suffering from the same disease.

Most people can drink reasonably, but we are only interested in those who cannot. Party drinkers, social drinkers, celebrators, and others who continue to have more pleasure than pain from their drinking, are of no interest to us.

In some instances an individual might believe himself to be a social drinker when he definitely is an alcoholic. In many such cases more time must pass before that person is ready to accept our program. Rushing such a man before he is ready might ruin his chances of ever becoming a successful A.A. Do not ever deny future help by pushing too hard in the beginning.

Some people, although definitely alcoholic, have no desire or ambition to better their way of living, and until they do........ A.A. has nothing to offer them.

Experience has shown that age, intelligence, education, background, or the amount of liquor drunk, has little, if any, bearing on whether or not the person is an alcoholic.

PRESENTING THE PLAN

In many cases a man's physical condition is such that he should be placed in a hospital, if at all possible. Many A.A. members believe hospitalization, with ample time for the prospect to think and plan his future, free from domestic and business worries, offers distinct advantage. In many cases the hospitalization period marks the beginning of a new life. Other members are equally confident that any man who desires to learn the A.A. plan for living can do it in his own home or while engaged in normal occupation. Thousands of cases are treated in each manner and have proved satisfactory.

SUGGESTED STEPS*

The following paragraphs outline a suggested procedure for presenting the A.A. plan to the prospect, at home or in the hospital.

QUALIFY AS AN ALCOHOLIC*

1. In calling upon a new prospect, it has been found best to qualify oneself as an ordinary person who has found happiness, contentment, and peace of mind through A.A. Immediately make it clear to the prospect that you are a person engaged in the routine business of earning a living. Tell him your only reason for believing yourself able to help him is because you yourself are an alcoholic and have had experiences and problems that might be similar to his.

TELL YOUR STORY*

2. Many members have found it desirable to launch immediately into their personal drinking story, as a means of getting the confidence and whole-hearted co-operation of the prospect.

It is important in telling the story of your drinking life to tell it in a manner that will describe an alcoholic, rather than a series of humorous drunken parties. this will enable the man to get a clear picture of an alcoholic which should help him to more definitely decide whether he is an alcoholic.

INSPIRE CONFIDENCE IN A.A.*

3. In many instances the prospect will have tried various means of controlling his drinking, including hobbies, church, changes of residence, change of associations, and various control plans. These will, of course, have been unsuccessful. Point out your series of unsuccessful efforts to control drinking...their absolute fruitless results and yet that you were able to stop drinking through application of A.A. principles. This will encourage the prospect to look forward with confidence to sobriety in A.A. in spite of the many past failures he might have had with other plans.

TALK ABOUT "PLUS" VALUES*

4. Tell the prospect frankly that he can not quickly understand all the benefits that are coming to him through A.A.. Tell him of the happiness, peace of mind, health, and in many cases, material benefits which are possible through understanding and application of the A.A. way of life.

SHOW IMPORTANCE OF READING BOOK*

5. Explain the necessity of reading and re-reading the A.A. book. Point out that this book gives a detailed description of the A.A. tools and the suggested methods of application of these tools to build a foundation of rehabilitation for living. This is a good time to emphasize the importance of the twelve steps and the four absolutes.

QUALITIES REQUIRED FOR SUCCESS IN A.A.*

6. Convey to the prospect that the objectives of A.A. are to provide the ways and means for an alcoholic to regain his normal place in life. Desire, patience, faith, study and application are most important in determining each individual's plan of action in gaining full benefits of A.A.

INTRODUCE FAITH*

7. Since the belief of a Power greater than oneself is the heart of the A.A. plan, and since this idea is very often difficult for a new man, the sponsor should attempt to introduce the beginnings of an understanding of this all-important feature.

Frequently this can be done by the sponsor relating his own difficulty in grasping a spiritual understanding and the methods he used to overcome his difficulties.

LISTEN TO HIS STORY*

8. While talking to the newcomer, take time to listen and study his reactions in order that you can present your information in a more effective manner. Let him talk too. Remember...Easy Does It.

TAKE TO SEVERAL MEETINGS*

9. To give the new member a broad and complete picture of A.A., the sponsor should take him to various meetings within convenient distance of his home. Attending several meetings gives a new man a chance to select a group in which he will be most happy and comfortable, and it is extremely important to let the prospect make his own decision as to which group he will join. Impress upon him that he is always welcome at any meeting and can change his home group if he so wishes.

EXPLAIN A.A. TO PROSPECT'S FAMILY*

10. A successful sponsor takes pains and makes any required effort to make certain that those people closest and with the greatest interest in their prospect (mother, father, wife, etc.) are fully informed of A.A., its principles and its objectives. The sponsor sees that these people are invited to meetings, and keeps them in touch with the current situation regarding the prospect at all times.

HELP PROSPECT ANTICIPATE HOSPITAL EXPERIENCE*

11. A prospect will gain more benefit from a hospitalization period if the sponsor describes the experience and helps him anticipate it, paving the way for those members who will call on him.

CONSULT OLDER MEMBERS IN A.A.*

These suggestions for sponsoring a new man in A.A. teachings are by no means complete. They are intended only for a framework and general guide. Each individual case is different and should be treated as such. Additional information for sponsoring a new man can be obtained from the experience of older men in the work. A co-sponsor, with an experienced and newer member working on a prospect, has proven very satisfactory. Before undertaking the responsibility of sponsoring, a member should make certain that he is able and prepared to give the time, effort, and thought such an obligation entails. It might be that he will want to select a co-sponsor to share the responsibility, or he might feel it necessary to ask another to assume the responsibility for the man he has located.

IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE A SPONSOR...BE A GOOD ONE!


(* These headings were not in the original draft for this pamphlet. They were added for the first, and subsequent printings.)



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MIP Old Timer

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I would wait until you had at least a year sober. There are just certain things about having that 1 full year that you will need as you pass it on to you sponsee. These are basic things like how do you stay sober through a specific holiday? How do you stay sober through blah blah...whatever. Yeah you know the answer now but you haven't lived enough of it yet. That's just my opinion though. We tell people "no major changes" in one year but then tell them it's okay to sponsor people in that year? Nah. I know how they did things in the old days - They also didn't have enough people to have meetings like we do now, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't go to meetings. Much of what they did is so we could have a more ideal system like we do now.

Mark

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MIP Old Timer

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Tell you the truth...I'm not really sure if what we have now is really a more ideal system....It works for me...That's what is important.

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MIP Old Timer

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There are so many different kinds of service to do. I was a secretary for a group at 9 months sober. I chaired meetings by 3 months. All of that does not take a year of sobriety. You have your whole sober life in front of you to help others. No rush. On the other hand, if someone seeks you out and is adamant and you feel grounded enough and have been through the steps...an honest effort to help and guide someone else cannot be a bad thing.

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MIP Old Timer

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Yeah...It's as simple as offering to be a temorary sponsor...Get them started...I have done the steps...Continue to live them daily...That's all I have to offer...I'd like to have a year sober because I like to do things right...But if it is in God's will for me to guide someone through the steps before that...I won't say no.

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Member

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I agreed to sponsor my first sponsee when I was roughly 18 months sober. It wasn't really about the time, was more to do with where I was with my program, step 9. The next 3 steps are maintaining what we learned in 1-9 so the reason is self explanatory. I've sponsored a few people a couple have remained sober most have not. BUT, I do have an 100% success rate because, I HAVE NOT HAD A DRINK!
I'm under no illusion either that them "getting" it or staying sober has anything to do with me. It doesn't!
If they do it's not down to me and if they don't it's not down to me.
God bless

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MIP Old Timer

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I was in a meeting last night and an older guy said the first six guys he sponsored are dead. He also sponsored six women...All sober today. The reason he sponsored women because he met his sponsor in a rehab...A woman. You know....The directions are clearly laid out in that book. A sponsor guides you through the steps. If you don't do the leg work...You're probably going to drink..And for us..to drink is to die. A sponsor should not take responsibility for someone not figuring out...How it works. Hell...Even pages 86 and 87 recommend how you should go through a day.

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MIP Old Timer

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When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

I once sponsored a gal and she was 3 months sober, making her ammends and she began to sponsor another gal. Why not? She was being sponsored by me, and women in our fellowship area are few and far between. We all need to help each other ... regardless of where we are in quality or quantity of sobriety.

Steve, if you are even only on step 1 ( and Im guessing you're farther than that ), then you most definately have something to share with a new person. As you work thru the steps with your sponsor, then you work thru them with a new person too. Its really that simple!

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MIP Old Timer

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I Like the original pamplet from Clarence that Stepchild posted the best, but here is a link to today's version.

www.aa.org/pdf/products/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf



-- Edited by StPeteDean on Wednesday 7th of December 2011 09:47:08 PM

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SoberSteve wrote:

When do you think is a good time to sponsor someone?


 About 30 seconds after someone asks you to sponsor them and you say yes

 

Everything else is theoretical and while we specialize in that, in that most of our lives occur in between our ears and it's 99% theoretical, it's just no helpful, we learn how to live in the present in AA, hence, "One day at a time" easy does it, first things first, and there are clear cut instructions in the BB, you can't pass on what you don't have so clean house and give back to others, then there is an entire chapter devoted to "12 stepping" per se, and Clancy is to sponsoring what Bill is to the Big Book, so following his suggestions is fairly sound advice.

 

chop wood, carry water, do the deal, walk your talk and when you are ready and have something that someone finds attractive, they will ask you, you will be woefully underqualified, but you will learn as you teach

 

easy peasy



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MIP Old Timer

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LinBabaAgo-go wrote:
SoberSteve wrote:

When do you think is a good time to sponsor someone?


 About 30 seconds after someone asks you to sponsor them and you say yes

 


 That's a good answer. If someone is asking you, then you have something they see as helpful to their sobriety. Theirnare few qualifications needed to sponsor someone. Check out then AA pamphlet, Questions and Answers On Sponsorship.

AA members with only a few months, sometimes with less, have been successfully sponsoring others since 1935. That is part of the program and its heritage.

One in four newcomers to AA does not have a sponsor within 90 days. That may be due to their being too picky and shy in their selection process.  I hear frequently about newcomers who "have a GREAT SPONSOR!! and that, therefor, they are gonna make it.

Actually, any ole sponsor will probably suffice.

It isn't the sponsor who keeps members sober. The program of Alcoholics Anonymous keeps them sober.



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MIP Old Timer

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We should be working with others from day one. The destruction of self centredness is core to recovery. Sponsorship I believe, is the business of showing a newcomer how to have a spiritual experience, and you can only do that if you have had one yourself. How long should it take? Well, the early members took the steps in short order, Bill Bob and AA number three all had spritual experiences in a few days as they worked through the steps. The steps put you in touch with the Power and the Power keeps you sober.

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