Hello everyone, it's been a while since I have logged in here. I have a dilemma. #1 I have relapsed again but I'm back to my meetings and nearing my 30 days sobriety. Sadly enough, a while back I had 12 years of sobriety but I ended up in a slippery situation and an unhealthy relationship so I "Picked up that first drink" I am living with my sponsor temporarily which I am very greatful for. I'm almost done with my 4th step which I'm looking forward to moving forward with my steps. My time living as a roommate with my sponsor is nearly up, I have to move out by the first of December due to the mobile home park rules. I've been searching for a place to live but it hasn't been easy. I have a home in Nevada which I'm selling. Thing is, I need to live here in CA, I want to be near my home group and friends from AA along with my family that lives here. I know damn well that if I have to move back to NV to have a place to live, I'll start drinking again and I just don't think my system can take another binge. I ended up in the ER in September with such a low potassium level it was near fatal. Any suggestions, opinions or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Glad you're back ... Sounds like you didn't find what you were looking for when you went back out ... Hey, I'm not trying to give you a hard time, I've done the same thing ... It's just that once I did the steps and learned to change my old way of thinking to a new and different way of thinking, i was transformed into a different person ... I like the new me ... the old me needed to die off ... and I'm not sure I could make it back again either should I go back out once more ... so if I bring the old me back, I'm afraid he'll grab my ass and drag it to six feet under this time ... not sure I care for that ...
There are currently two guys here on this site that seem to have jumped into this program with all the zeal and enthusiasum of a starved dog going after a fresh ham bone ... and like the hambone they seem to be holding on to the program for dear life ... I hope they share and give you a fresh view on what AA means to them ... I'd love to hear from them also ...
How 'bout it 'SoberSteve' and 'Stepchild' ? ...
Take Care and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Aloha Jerry and welcome back to the family. I was told years ago that if I had solid program and then relapsed it would not get rid of what I had learned before drinking again. I really appreciated those words because I was listening to too many people who had and thought that they had never been in the program. I hang with relapsers and listen, listen, listen for the clues and signals as that keeps my own recovery alert. I just had some what of a pre-lapse experience and it was recognizable because of all the relapsers have taught me. Alcoholism IS cunning, powerful and baffling.
I live the program and so I don't predict future drinking events. Today is the sober day and the only sober day. There is no justification to drink today and there wasn't one yesterday either. No matter where I am at and who I am with if I do what I did yesterday and today I won't drink later on either. My sponsorship taught me that if I could think of a reason to drink I could also think of one not to. They were right on bless em and thank HP for them too.
Keep coming back and keep on keeping on. Gonna listen more about relationships...Mahalo (thanks)...
Hey Jerry, fear sucks. Bill said it aught to be classed with steeling, I think cause it rips our life away. Vegas is a great place for sobriety. I got sober there in 2000 and had a blast for years till I moved up north to Carson. And AA is a blast up here. The only problem I have ever had anywhere I been, has always come with me, and looks back from the mirror at me. If sober is what you really want, you can be sober sleeping in a liquor store. For the real alcoholic, liquor is but a symptom. I know you know. Just saying. Vegas got some kick ass sobriety, just gotta get your feet moving. I like that little club down town Henderson, the 51 club I think its called. Anyway, fear sucks. I heard a new one for fear the other day, Faking Everything and Appearing Recovered. Sometimes we gotta act as if and keep moving and give God something to work with, and then something amazing happens, fear goes away and life feels good whether it is or not. Kind of like what alcohol did for me when it worked. It made life good whether it was or not. any way, do what ever it is you have to do, just stay in the middle of AA, live in the steps, and help Gods kids when you can and you'll be ok whether you are or not.
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Since it cost a lot to win, and even more to loose, you and me gotta spend some time just wondering what to choose.
Welcome back. None of the family in Cali will take you in for awile? Like you know the #1 priority is to stay sober, if you feel Vegas is bad for you better stay away.
I got my brother started in AA when he lived in Henderson (moved about 3 years ago) and we went to Club 51 a few times. BillyJack is right there is some very good AA in that area from what I recall
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Thank you all so much for responding and your opinions and suggestions. I'll hold on to every word written by you all. I promise you, this time and with your support, my sponsors support and the friends of AA, I'll make it. I've done it before with 12 years of sobriety, no craving for alcohol what so ever. My life was great, I was happy and content. I want all of that back and I've been told I can have that back if I work on me, attend meetings and work on my steps and keep my sobriety first. Sorry to say Rob84, my father recently passed away and my mother is in a care home with Alzheimer's disease. One of my siblings and one brother in-law have changed the locks on my parents house along with stripping it. I think my middle sister wants the house sold right away, she's got money but she wants more, know what I mean? I was warned that some families are torn apart due to situations like this and I hope and pray my family will stay together. While I was living temporarily with my dad to help him with the house, yard work, my mom etc. I had been drinking at my parents house and this upset my dad and my siblings so end result, they kicked me out of the house. Now that I'm sober, they still won't let me stay there and take care of the house and pay rent. There's just so much to this but I know I need to focus primarily on my sobriety, it's paramount to my health, happiness and future. God bless you all and I hope I made sense in this response. PS, I went to two meetings today and the second one tonight my sponsor was the guest speaker, it was great!! he's been sober over 35 years, he's my hero.
Hey Jerry welcome back! If you can find a couple of AA "clubs" in CA they may have a bulletin board where people advertise looking for sober room mates. I did this in early sobriety, shared houses with several recovering folks and it was the best thing I ever did.
i've tried nearly everything, I've called sober homes etc. but the housing is too far away from my mother who I need to check on quite often. I'll keep plugging away and doing my search, I even belong to a roommate website but no answers as of yet. Thanks for responding and the good tip.
I promise you, this time and with your support, my sponsors support and the friends of AA, I'll make it.
I think there is a major player missing here....
I've done it before with 12 years of sobriety, no craving for alcohol what so ever. My life was great, I was happy and content. I want all of that back and I've been told I can have that back if I work on me, attend meetings and work on my steps and keep my sobriety first.
I'm just curious...You had 12 years sober without working the steps?...Or you are just working them again.
