Hi Jenn,

Congrats on the 56 days.

Steps 1 and 2 are basically facts we need to believe to be true about ourselves, there is not a whole lot to really work, step 3 is a decision I try to renew every morning.

The Doctor's opinion and the first 3 chapters basically provide information/education to help us understand alcoholism, and aid us in taking step 1.

I usually have sponcee's read the DO and 1st 3 chapters, then write down some specific incidents on being powerless of alcohol and examples of unmanagebility in their lives. (not real familiar with Joe and Charie methods)

In my experience if one can truly surender/admitt defeat (can't do it on their own) and then become "willing" to embark on a new course of action, then they are on the right track.

Basically, a lot of the most of the steps involve getting honest and overcoming fear, and finding a "higher Power" to help you with the previous. I would just suggest discussing things that you are comfortable with in the group, and tell your sponsor you would like to dicuss the other things in private.

Turn your fears over to God and roll on with the study group, you will get more comfortable as time goes on.

Take care,

Rob

-- Edited by Rob84 on Monday 28th of November 2011 03:01:22 AM

-- Edited by Rob84 on Monday 28th of November 2011 03:03:30 AM

Hi Jenn and welcome to MIP.
The AA programme is very simple and, if it helps, can be further condensed into three elements. Trust God (steps 1-3), Clean house (4-11), help others(12). Step one is were we make a beginning by basically surrendering. It's about admitting complete defeat, unconditional surrender with no little idea lurking in the back of our mind the we might oneday be able to drink normally. As Rob says there is not a whole lot of work in this, it's just a matter of acceptance pure and simple. Most of the work has already been done by the time we get to AA. I shudder to think what it cost, all those false starts, humiliations, failed experiments in control, blundering into conflict with everyone around me. I did everything I could to stay out of AA, but in the end it was the only place where I could find hope.
There is a little more to it. Before attending my first AA meeting I spent some time with a man I now know was my 12 stepper. Through sharing his ESH with me, I learned I was an alcoholic of a particular type, the hopeless variety that has absolutely no defence against the first drink, and I could easily see the unmanageable state of my life. I also had it in mind that an AA group, being able to stay sober, had more power than me and I was willing to believe they could restore me to sanity. So in that sense I had no problem conceding to my innermost self that I was alcoholic and could not manage my own life. Had I been asked if I believed or was even willing to believe that a power greater than my self could restore me to sanity, I would have said yes. Steps one and two were done before I set foot in a meeting. However, in a very practical way, the meetings helped cement step one by sharing about what it was like (their examples of powerlessness). My first few meetings I met people who went out of their way to help me identify and to reassure me I was in the right place. All this happened before Joe and Charlie or even the internet had been invented. It happened because the local members were simply following the instructions in the Big Book.

Jenn, If you log onto the Step Board connected to this site you will find they are just getting started on step 1.

I am sometimes not sure if working the steps is a terribly helpful term. I remember a woman of some sobriety saying in a meeting that she wanted someone to tell her which steps to work in which situation and I had a mental picture of her standing before a row of 12 levers trying to work out which one to pull. Each step has a specific function, the benefit of which is often not apparent until after the step has been taken. I was fearful of some steps, so I began praying (step 3), among other things, for the strength and courage to to do what needed to be done. (the steps). Courage is fear that has said its prayers.
There are two acronyms for FEAR. F%#$ Everything And Run, or Face Everything And Recover.

God bless,
Mike H.

Hey there, Greetings. Thats a really good question. And I really like what has been said about it so far, I can identify with all of it. For me most of my "working step one" was done before I really got to the rooms of AA and stopped being a visitor. My drinking cured me of wanting to drink any more. Problem was I didnt have the needed power to stay stopped and comfortable for any period of time. I was beyond self help and human aid. I needed the power that runs the universe. Joe and Charlie are a couple of my AA heroes. I have listened to them in private and in an AA book study setting many times, more then i could possibly count. Please dont let fear hold you from the opportunity to experience it. As far as me working step one, there really is no work. Step one and two are conclusions of the mind based on my experience with alcohol kicking my ass, and my utter inability to run my life drinking or sober. The best tested and long standing way of getting this through the almost impenetrable head of an alcoholic is " one alcoholic talking to another " not telling them what they should or shouldn't do, but what happened to them, what they did, and what they are like now. One of the best examples to me comes from our big book in the story section from one of AA's pioneers. The story is called " He sold himself short " Im gonna paste the part im talking about.......................................

 

I wanted it, and would do anything to get it. I was completely licked by alcohol.
I can still remember very distinctly getting into Akron at eleven p.m. and routing this same Howard out of bed to do something about me. He spent two hours with me that night telling me his story. He said he had finally learned that drinking was a fatal illness made up of an allergy plus an obsession, and once the drinking had passed from habit to obsession, we were completely hopeless, and could look forward only to spending the balance of our lives in mental institutions or to death.
He laid great stress on the progression of his attitude toward life and people, and most of his attitudes had been very similar to mine. I thought at times that he was telling my story! I had thought that I was completely different from other people, that I was beginning to become a little balmy, even to the point of withdrawing more and more from society and wanting to be alone with my bottle.
Here was a man with essentially the same outlook on life, except that he had done something about it. He was happy, getting a kick out of life and people, and beginning to get his medical practice back again. As I look back on that first evening I realize that I began to hope, then, for the first time; and I felt that if he could regain these things, perhaps it would be possible for me too.
The next afternoon and evening, two other men visited me and each told me his story and the things that they were doing to try to recover from this tragic illness. They had that certain something that seemed to glow, a peace and a serenity combined with happi-

 

 

ness. In the next two or three days the balance of this handful of men contacted me, encouraged me, and told me how they were trying to live this program of recovery and the fun they were having doing it.
Then and then only, after a thorough indoctrination by eight or nine individuals, was I allowed to attend my first meeting. This first meeting was held in the living room of a home and was led by Bill D., the first man that Bill W. and Dr. Bob had worked with successfully.
The meeting consisted of perhaps eight or nine alcoholics and seven or eight wives. It was different from the meetings now held. The big A.A. book had not been written and there was no literature except various religious pamphlets. The program was carried on entirely by word of mouth.
The meeting lasted an hour and closed with the Lord's Prayer. After it was closed we all retired to the kitchen and had coffee and doughnuts and more discussion until the small hours of the morning.
I was terribly impressed by this meeting and the quality of happiness these men displayed, despite their lack of material means. In this small group, during the Depression, there was no one who was not hard up.
I stayed in Akron two or three weeks on my initial trip trying to absorb as much of the program and philosophy as possible. I spent a great deal of time with Dr. Bob, whenever he had the time to spare, and in the homes of two or three other people, trying to see how the family lived the program. Every evening we would meet at the home of one of the members and have coffee and doughnuts and spend a social evening.
The day before I was due to go back to Chicago, a

 

 

Wednesday and Dr. Bob's afternoon off, he had me down to the office and we spent three or four hours formally going through the Six-Step program as it was at that time. The six steps were:
1. Complete deflation.
2. Dependence and guidance from a Higher Power.
3. Moral inventory.
4. Confession.
5. Restitution.
6. Continued work with other alcoholics.
Dr. Bob led me through all of these steps. At the moral inventory, he brought up some of my bad personality traits or character defects, such as selfishness, conceit, jealousy, carelessness, intolerance, ill-temper, sarcasm and resentments. We went over these at great length and then he finally asked me if I wanted these defects of character removed. When I said yes, we both knelt at his desk and prayed, each of us asking to have these defects taken away.
This picture is still vivid. If I live to be a hundred, it will always stand out in my mind. It was very impressive and I wish that every A.A. could have the benefit of this type of sponsorship today. Dr. Bob always emphasized the religious angle very strongly, and I think it helped. I know it helped me. Dr. Bob then led me through the restitution step, in which I made a list of all of the persons I had harmed, and worked out ways and means of slowly making restitution.

 

I hope this helps you and anyone else struggleing to keep comming back and make AA and our way of life the center of yours...

 

 

 

Jenn it sounds like you've got #1 done already and are ready for more practice with rigourous honesty...Letting other know you are afraid...just afraid like you have done here.  Working the program was going to change me and I new nothing about that and I was afraid of "what I might become". The "what I might become" happens to be the last word of #2...Sane.  It doesn't even mention sober...it says sane because I came to understand that trying to live and have a manageable life while under the influence of a mind and mood altering chemical was insanity.  I could relate to insanity by the time I got into recovery cause I knew I was certifiable and looking for the time and place to just end it all (again).  That's insane...drinking until there was nothing left and opting for suicide (which drinking like I was, was proof of suicide in action) reaffirmed that I was powerless and unmanaged.  Sanity!! what a novel concept...the ability and facility to attain and maintain a consistent and orderly process of thought!!...how in the hell would I ever be able to manage that deally wopper!!.  Stop drinking first...find powers greater than alcohol that I could and would fix my mind, body, spirit and emotions to 24/7 and then....  You already have those powers yourself...sponsor, sobriety sisters, AA, steps and traditions, slogans, literature, willingness and courage to change the things you can and maybe another power greater than all others who you can attach yourself to like super velcro.  Awwww #2 and #3 will be coming up soon enough.  You're doing very very good.  Celebrate day 56...Congradulations!!   (((((hugs)))))

 

Step 1 is the only step we can do 100%.
There is no good news at step 1. It means we are stuffed!
We had to concede to our innermost selves we were alcoholics. This is different from saying hi, I'm Lou, I'm an alcoholic. It means we are beaten.
I've read all the good stuff above and that's all I can add. Except my life is unmanageable because of my THINKING...not my DRINKING.
And that although there is no good news at step 1, it comes in step 2 & 3.
1- I cant
2- he can
3- ill let him

God bless & good luck