Congrats on 60 days.  Can you share where the "Little Gods" mention is in the BB?  I wouldn't mind checking the passage for context.  It's hard to respond to this part of your post without seeing it for myself.  Victim mentality is pretty dangerous, the way I understand it.  I don't think that is avocated and totally different than say the powerlessness that is discussed.  My guess is that being little gods is like the idea that we are all children of God.  The other thing could be in a negative sense, that when I am acting from my own will and not seeking to live in connection to a HP, then I am acting as a little god.  But those are just guesses.

After reading the passage and looking over your original post I think you have a good question.  I almost feel like to address everything thoroughly as it's running through my mind I'd have to write a giant boring, long-winded thing, which I can't seem to avoid doing.  I can only hope someone like reading this kinda stuff.

 I now feel like I might see what you were getting at about in posing a difference(?) between acting as a god and being the victim.  

That passage you mentioned is basically hightlighting the need of the alcoholic who wants to stay sober to rely on something other than their own plan.  It's a lead into step 2, accepting a higher power.  The discussion of selfishness and self-will run riot is to emphasize how destructive and futile it is to try and live with out  guiding  spiritual principles  and a higher power.  

Acting and living life based on selfish instincts run rampant and distorted by alcoholic thinking, leads to bad behavior, destructive to the self and the world around us.  A classic of distorted thinking is the common idea that, "of course I drink, or behave this way-if the world weren't so..., because of this..., it's the fault of everything outside of me..., that I drink... I'd call this self centered "victim" thinking.

I love discussion about self and god, particularly in regards to instincts.  So warning- I'm gonna go on here as I see the material today in my wee 1year 5months of recovery:

 We as human beings were created with natural instincts which are related to self-motivation by design.  The first page of step 4 in the 12x12 discusses this more thoroughly.  These "egoistic" instincts are perfectly normal.  They are related to the drives to survive, seek safety, love, sex, etc.  The problem is when fulfilling these natural drives for real human needs becomes distorted.  When a human is not acting by cultivating spiritual principles, or perhaps satisfying these drives with out the guidance of a higher power/principle, we as fallible human beings  can go overboard.  

Examples that come to mind:  sex is not in and of itself bad.  Sex is normal.  It's a part of reproduction and human survival.  The drive to have sex is probably hardwired into human creation.  On another hand, however, unprotected casual sex with massive amounts of partners can be deadly.  Why would we do that to ourselves?  Yet some do.  Also, eating food is necessary.  The drive to feed is pretty hard to over-ride.  Consider  over-eating- can it be called a moral issue? I can't see how.  However, if I make myself sick stuffing myself with junk, why would I do it?  I have and did tonight at the AA Gratitude Banquet.  I suspect  it's connected to a distortion- a perverted drive, I want to feel secure through food.  I'm trapped and hurting myself, and yet sometimes I feel it's the only way I can get happy, especially now that I don't drink.  Eating this way doesn't make me happy, it makes me ill and it can kill a person is excess.

The way out of the trap  is in that same paragraph on the bottom of page 62.  Here mentioned particularly for the alcoholic to deal with the drink problem but helpful for all beings in all things, is to have a "Principal", a "Director", which is a higher power of my understanding.   "In this drama of life"..."this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom."

I especially like that last part of the I what I quoted above.  I always want to remember, that self is a part of all creation(we are creation, or "God's children" and at the same time, when I am able to connect with a HP, and avoid total self-will, then I get to the gate of true freedom.  I'm no longer a slave to my so called selfish passions.  My passions can be guided by principles which allow me to live more freely and joyously.

  When I've tried living in God's will, it goes better.  I'll go meditate now and hopefully bed rest and let you all go from my coffee driven wind bag of a share.

Luv All

Thanks for replying Angel.

After I wrote the last letter, it occured to me that the reason the victim and little God reactions stem from my childhood.  I realise that to heal these reactions I have to delve into and face what happened.  Amazingly I had already bought the Big Red Book and workbook for the adult children of alcoholics (aca) program.  This time around the steps are hitting home.  To work the program properly it says that you have to work on any secondary addictions you may have.  Well it's only sunk in that mine is to do with food.  Now that I've been abstinent this program is jumping out at me.

Step One - We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction, that our lives had become unmanageable.

I'm finally realising I was powerless over it all.  As a child there was nothing I could do about it.  

Step Two - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Many times I felt insane.

Step Three - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understand God.

For myself, God is my true parent. He is a kind, loving, just parent, who never belittles me or try to hurt me one way or the other. 

Since accepting these steps, I have found a lot more peace within myself.  There was nothing I could do to make things better, God could help me to see things how they are/were and I now allow God to be my parent.  It's like a weight has been taken off my shoulders.  It wasn't me!!!!!

I hope I haven't rabbled on too long or overstepped any boundaries.

Tracey