Hey everyone! I am new on here and new to sobriety. I am 29 and have been drinking since I was 14. In the last 4 years my drinking has been out of control. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2008 and after treatments I turned to alcohol to numb the pain and anxiety of everything that happened. I have recently lost my job and am in a ton of debt due to my drinking. I have drank everyday for years and I'm tired of being sick. I'm tired of blacking out and waking up in random places with bruises, not knowing where they came from or where I am. I know I have hurt my family and friends and I am ready to get help. I stopped drinking 3 weeks ago, but last week went on a 5 day binge. I am trying it over again and thought joining this might help. I'm going to start going to meetings, but am very nervous about it. I know the kind of life I want and I know I can't have that if I continue drinking. I can barely remember what it was like to be happy and normal. I just need to figure out how to get my life back.
Welcome Jessica, this is a great place to get some support and answers. There are some wonderful people here who will be glad to share with you how they recovered. Your story reminded me of my last bender. I had been sober for three weeks. That is 21 whole days, a very long time for an alcoholic to go without a drink. But I wasn't ready to admit defeat. Someone suggested if I didn't think I was an alcoholic, perhaps I should try some controlled drinking ( Crazy idea really as i never had any control before).The plan was to have a couple of beers and be home by six. It was partially successful, I got home at six alright, just that it was four days later! That put the cork in the bottle for me. One drink is too many and a thousand not enough. I would like to write more but I am off out for dinner tonight and it's time to go (joys of sobriety). Hope we talk again.
Aloha Jessica and welcome to the board being new to sobriety is like starting pre-school...don't know nothing and no body however AA and the fellowship is the place where you can learn to get your life back from many others who got theirs back. First thing...don't drink, second...don't think, Third get to the earliest open meeting you can get to and listen, listen, listen. Then repeat. You will start to hear suggestions from those here and there in AA recovery so then you can start following up on those suggestions. Come here often and reach out for support along with the meetings. It works for me. ((((hugs))))
I have drank everyday for years and I'm tired of being sick. -Jessica
You have taken the 1st step. Now take the 2nd step and believe that God can help you and then surrender your life to that power. That's what I did and I got well despite myself. Every time I wanted to drink, God was there to help me. Tough circumstances and people have not tempted me because of the faith I have developed through the 12 step program of AA. Now I go to meetings to help people like you, through the same steps that I took.
Welcome Jessica. Sounds like you have nothing to lose. I felt the same way coming into AA. I was nervous. My mind was trying to tell me all kinds of things to keep me from an AA meeting. I seemed to think it was the last place I wanted to be or the last place I should end up. I come to find out it was the BEST place to be and my life has turned about substantially. Can you really afford 5 day binges and such at the age of 29? It's not going to be quick and easy. It will be work, but you can find a new life through AA and it can be a great one. Trust me if you don't believe it. My life was a total wreck 3 years ago.
Mark
Jessica, I also wanted to add that I found out through countless efforts of trying to quit on my own...trying to cut down...etc...that I could not do it. I even quit for 4 months with no meetings once, but I always went back. I absolutely had to go to AA and have the dramatic lifestyle switch/awakening that I think only AA could give me. Nothing else worked before.
-- Edited by pinkchip on Thursday 3rd of November 2011 10:04:37 AM
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Hey Jessica , I hope you go to a meeting soon . Three weeks is a great effort , i wonder how long you might be able to go with the help and fellowship offerd by AA ?
Peace and bestwishes to you on your journey , dave
Hi Jessica. I am new to this ( 4 days) and the Board. I have had kinda the same question. Kinda like ok, I stopped drinking, I can see all the problem it created for me that I did not deal with while drinking, and now what?
For me with all the problem I still have the easiest way I get some of a peice of my life back is when I go to those meetings. All I've got to do is show up and want to do it. I'm gonna keep going until I can get enough peices to put it all back, and keep going to keep it back afterwards. We're Not the 1st, only or last ones this has ever happened to. Those meetings put you around people who have fixed it.
Welcome Jessica, hold on to your seat you are in for a ride! Early sobriety was very much like a roller coaster for me, and right now the best you can do is listen and hang on. Meetings are a very good start. It is suggested that newcomers hit 90 meetings in 90 days, and ask someone to be your sponsor. A sponsor will help walk you through the steps and be a good point person as you work the program.
For me, I did not get "my life back." I did get something different, and better than any life I would have dreamed up for myself. First and foremost, I got sober. Even moreso, I got a faith and belief in a Higher Power of my understanding, I got true friends in the fellowship, I got self respect and self love. I learned how to live life in a healthy, productive way, how to be of service to others...and miraculously, I learned that this is exactly what I wanted and needed!
All it takes in the beginning is honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness. If you are done with the hell that you've been living in and through, and you're ready to have what we have achieved, you are most likely going to have to do what we have done. It is worth a shot! You can always go back out, no one is going to strap you down and make you stay. Your misery can always be refunded, 100%.
I'm going to tell you what I was told my first meeting, "You don't ever have to drink again. Even if you want to." Best wishes to you on your journey! I am very excited for you. Heather
Welcome Jessica! Many good suggestions here. Meetings are a great start. I was nervous to, but learned quickly that the Fellowship was understanding, compassionate and non-judgemental. They had all been in my shoes. They loved me until I could love myself. In Meetings you'll find, your wanted, needed and loved. Hope you give it a try.
I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that EVERYONE was nervous going to their first AA meeting. If the meeting you want to attend is "open" (it should say on the website or schedule) you might bring a friend, that's what I did. She's not an alcoholic but just a good friend who I invited to make sure I would actually go in!
Welcome...to the boards here and to a new way of living. :)
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I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
Welcome Jessica, hold on to your seat you are in for a ride! Early sobriety was very much like a roller coaster for me, and right now the best you can do is listen and hang on. Meetings are a very good start. It is suggested that newcomers hit 90 meetings in 90 days, and ask someone to be your sponsor. A sponsor will help walk you through the steps and be a good point person as you work the program.
For me, I did not get "my life back." I did get something different, and better than any life I would have dreamed up for myself. First and foremost, I got sober. Even moreso, I got a faith and belief in a Higher Power of my understanding, I got true friends in the fellowship, I got self respect and self love. I learned how to live life in a healthy, productive way, how to be of service to others...and miraculously, I learned that this is exactly what I wanted and needed!
All it takes in the beginning is honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness. If you are done with the hell that you've been living in and through, and you're ready to have what we have achieved, you are most likely going to have to do what we have done. It is worth a shot! You can always go back out, no one is going to strap you down and make you stay. Your misery can always be refunded, 100%.
I'm going to tell you what I was told my first meeting, "You don't ever have to drink again. Even if you want to." Best wishes to you on your journey! I am very excited for you. Heather
Well said Heather. I was told almost the exact same thing when I stumbled in and every single word has proved itself to be true. It is a wonderful thing, the gift of this program.
Best wishes , Jessica, and please keep coming back.
