Let me start by saying I have been sober now for 23 years and I am always looking for suggestions to help me and other members of AA. I went to a meeting this afternoon and found out two people had gone back out drinking. Of course they were hurting but the good news is they found their way back to the meeting the very next day. I am just visiting this meeting here since I am from out of town but have been here for about a month and these people have become very close to me as most AA members feel about each other. I talked to the person that will be chairing the meeting tonight and I suggested that we should have a meeting on slips. I am always amazed at what other people have to say and how much help they can be to me and others. I will also say that I have not had that slip even though I have come close a few times but I lack that deep despair a person must have when they do go back out. I only hope I keep listening and doing as I have been taught to help me avoid that pain. I would love any suggestions any of you might have that I could pass on tonight at the meeting. Thanks
SLIP = Sobriety Losing Its Priority. One of those fun Alconyms my grandsponsor sends me on my email daily. It is actually a good one as believe this to be the truth. Slips are insideous and they happen when we forget to put the program and recovery first.
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
My slips have all been when I assume control of my will and forget that alcohol has more control over my will than I do. My preventon is now to trust only God with my will, because I'm no good with the darned thing and if I give it to alcohol, alcohol tries to take eveything else from me, too.
Good for you Rocky...hope it goes well. For me on the subject of slips I listen most closely to what happens before the slip...How does it and when does it start...what does it sound like and how does it feel. I like to listen to those who share the "self talk" before a slip and the program/non-program behaviors.
Hey Rocky, ... Sorry I didn't check this forum earlier, not that what I have to say will make any difference, but I have some obsevations that may help ...
Of all the reasons I've heard over time, for a 'slip', 'relapse', whatever you prefer, ... 1st and foremost is the person stopped their daily prayers ... and 2nd, they slowly stopped going to meetings, ... and 3rd, they stopped calling their sponsor ... I've heard it said, and I have also asked every person I've known that had a 'slip'; Did you pray that morning for God's will to be done in your life for the day ahead? ... And I've never known a person to answer 'Yes' ...
You know we're taught in AA that we must continue to apply the principles of AA in all our affairs ... This especially means working steps 11 and 12 daily ... Alcohol is a subtle foe, and one day without God in it, is one day too many ... If we turn our backs on Him, then He'll turn His back on us and leave us to our own devices ...
I don't have to tell you it's a 'spiritual' program, and we learn to have faith in the only entity that can help us ... Many of us have 'self-help' books to help build up our self-esteem and self-confidence and ego and such ... My sponsor said, 'My God', go home and get rid of those books ... I asked why? ... He said you're trying to build up the very person you're trying to get rid of ...
So, until we get rid of our 'old' self and keep the 'new' one in AA, then we're walking a dangerous path ... Successful people remind themselves daily of the positive things that got them to where they are ... We must do the same ...
As Yoda said; Do or Do Not, there is no Try!
God Bless,
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
In my early days the oldtimers used to say it's not a slip, it's a landslide! thereby reinforcing the fact that choosing to drink is not a minor incident, and as I have seen not everyone makes it back. Sister Ignatius once commented, in regard to Doctors Bob's hospital based meetings, that the success rates were reduced when slipees were in the group, as opposed to the group being composed solely of first timers. So it seems those that are a bit unsteady can take someone elses slip in two ways, "that's what will happen to me If I don't work the steps" or "if he got away with it, why shouldn't I"? The explanations for slips can be found all the way through the big book. When boil it down the reason usually lies somewhere in the steps, often house cleaning and amends are skimped over or not even attempted. The answers are the same as for first timers, step work - ALL 12, and intensive work with other alcoholics. Meetings alone do not bring sobriety. Our fellowship here has a good number of slipees, they attend lots of meetings but the step work stops at 2 or 3. Some manage several years of white knuckle sobriety but get no better even attending 5 meetings a week for 5 years. They battle through each day trying to survive to the next meetings, and they say things regarding the steps like, it's not a race,. do one step a year, take out of it what you like and leave the rest, and some are fiercely independent, claiming to have their own program which is different to everyone elses, and bears no resemblence at all to the AA program which got me sober. Some quotes from the Big Book: " Half measures availed us nothing" "We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past" "...a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty" "If you have decided you ant what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps" "Our very lives as ex problem drinkers depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs" " The elimination of drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs". and on and on... If a member looks like they want help, I would generally ask one simple question - Are you willing to go to any lengths? and let their answer guide my actions.
I stopped believing I was really an alcoholic. Maybe my 1st time in A.A., I was just willing to say I was but didn't really believe it. I guess that boils down to never really 'working' the 1st step.
My 'slip' lasted 3 years and was more like falling flat on my face. Now, when I say I'm powerless over alcohol, I know its true since I proved it to myself.
My slip lasted six hours after 1 year of sobriety and commitment and love for the AA program. It astounded me. I am grateful to have been sober over a year since. It doesn't often happen that way, this disease is deadly serious. To sum: after much attention and thought, the best way I found to describe what happend to me was that I did get into negative, despair-like thinking without even realizing it. The phrase that was most poingnant in retrospect and still resonates with me is, "We have a daily reprieve based on the maintenence of our spiritual condition."
I believe my spiritual condition sucked at that time and I absolutely have to renew my commitment to sobriety and connection with a higher power every single day. I have to keep this effort front and center, or I could slip again. At that time I was going to lots of meetings, talking to sponsor, helping others, everything good, and I still drank.
Luckily, thank HP for real!, that saying was so true, a belly full of beer and a head full of AA don't mix so well. I was able to stay away from denial, at least that I was an alcoholic while I was consuming and knew that I'd not want to give up on AA. So I was back at a meeting first thing. Then with my sponsor's help renewed, redoubled efforts, mostly about relying on a HP and regarding a faith that works.
Thank you for the topic. I've been a little low for a few days, and don't want to go down that rabbit hole. I know I never need to drink again.
-- Edited by angelov8 on Thursday 3rd of November 2011 02:10:10 AM
-- Edited by angelov8 on Thursday 3rd of November 2011 02:12:15 AM
P.S. I had not finished step 9, and only a little work on nature of ten when I slipped. I can't say this was specifically to do with a cause. However, I think it's worth mentioning that I feel much more secure today having worked all the steps to the best of my ability. After reading through all the posts more carefully I would agree, that steps 2 and 3 are crucial. I can never forget to ask for guidance and that I do God's will for me to the best of my ability. It is not God's will that I drink. I am sure of that.
Thanks for the topic. I like what Mark said, especially when he talked about sobriety losing its priority. Sobriety, as far as I'm concerned, does not lose its luster in any way -like he said, but our lack of focus can. And our prioritizing has a lot to do with that.
When a person's "prioritizing" begins to change -which is evident by their demeanor, look out. What comes next is "the fall". The key here is of course "not" to fall. But if that does happen -which it could, than we have two options. We can continue the downward slide or give recovery a second chance. And I hope those who have...will pick the latter, for today.
So, I'll keep sobriety a priority myself for now, and the rest (as we all know) is etched in a "one day at a time" philosophy that can (with everyones help) keep "our" priorities straight, for today.
~God bless
-- Edited by Mr_David on Friday 4th of November 2011 02:38:54 AM
Glad to read such healthy discussions. I haven't slipped yet because it is my first day. I haven't wanted to admit I am an alcoholic but I am ready to finally say; "I am an alcoholic and need help to stay sober." I know I can make it through this day. But can I make it through the temptation tomorrow or over the holidays? This is where I become hopeless in my ability to quit drinking. I don't want to be sick and depressed anymore. I am powerless over alcohol. Thanks for listening.
Great topic, I know when I "slipped" many times before it was because I was not going to meetings, didnt have a sponsor or if I did was not calling him, and not praying, trying to handle it on my own. By the grace of God I will have 30 days this Thursday. I have been going to tons of meetings, working the steps, call my sponsor every night and pray constantly through each 24hrs. No desire or obsession to drink so far but I know my fatal disease is waiting around the corner so I keep doing the next right thing and work AA as its meant to be worked. My life has changed drastically this time around and I don't ever want to go "back out" but I know I must continue to work this program each day, the right way.
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
