We often don't see the changes in ourselves and they have to be pointed out to us.
I've just got back from a friends wedding in South Wales. His 1st wife died suddenly around 5 years ago. His new wife's 1st husband died suddenly around 4 years ago. The man, who I love as a brother, is a man I work with. This past few months, he (and some people in the fellowship), has been instrumental in saving my life, my sanity and my sobriety. God does the things for me I cannot do unaided. I still got to do the things I can and accept that the result is in the hands of God. God as I understand him, works in my life predominantly through the people he puts in my path.
I wondered why there were only some of his work colleagues invited to the wedding. His post wedding speech told all. Both he and his new wife invited, apart from family members, only those, who to use his words, 'who through their actions and their examples, stood up and were counted, stood up and carried either one or both of them at the time of their greatest need, stood up and regardless of the cost to themselves, said what needed saying, did what needed doing and asked for nothing in return and crucially, were honest at a time when their honesty could have cost them friendship'.
The friend from the fellowship who was my guest later said to me that I don't know how much I've changed until someone points it out to me.
I'm honoured to be counted in that company, grateful that my buddy wanted to recognise it and humbled that I thought I was doing all the taking and he saw me doing the giving.
Am I boasting? No. You don't and won't know what I or anyone else said or did or when we said or did it. I repeat this here particularly for you men and women just starting on the path of freedom. Your whole outlook on life will change*, you will become the person your dog thinks you are, but it takes time and it takes a caring friend to point out the progress you make.
*where have we heard THAT before?
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
Thanks Bill -- glad to come back and hear this from you. I still have my ups and downs in terms of change -- no, I'm not coming home drunk anymore, but I'm not yet the guy that my dog thinks I am (though truth be told, I don't have a dog).
I also was taught that in the program from the elders and sponsors...You really don't know and often that's best...keeps the ego out of HP's way. Thanks Bill.
SteveP - becoming the man your dog thinks you are is a target and a journey, not a destination. You don't have to have a dog, but next time you're out and about, look for the man and the dog and see how the dog looks at the man.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
Thanks for your testimony. I was inspired after reading your post, my friend, and for reasons you'll never know. For that, I say...thank you. You've given us a greater glimpse of the eternal bond that unites us all, in life and in marriage. And for that Bill, I applaud you. I wish you many more happy yet sober memories- one day at a time.
-- Edited by Mr_David on Monday 24th of October 2011 02:33:06 AM
What was really thoughtful and touching was the groom explained to the guests that there were two people present only in spirit - his late wife who he still loves and his bride's late husband, who she still loves and that bride and groom love each other. Really touching and I knew just what he was saying. They weren't replacements for each other's late partners, this was new. He borrowed the line, we're not shutting the door on the past, nor are we regretting the past. (He's not one of us by the way)
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
In recovery(recovered a day at a time) Lost dreams do awaken and new possibiliities arise!! Thanks for that message of hope and also the promise of freedom as we continue our daily reprieve, seeking that fit spiritual condition......Nice share Bill!
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Thanks for that Bill. Good ol' cynical me laughed inside when I was told this sort of stuff in rehab and then in early AA meetings. I still laugh but only at my old self. There is one constant in my life over the last year (aside from sobriety) and that is that the program has told me only the truth. Your share is just another example of that.
Would i want to become the person my cat thinks I am? I dunno. My cat, now departed, treated my home as a hotel, did what she wanted, when she wanted and really only looked at me as either her personal servant or her captor. Very occaisionally, she'd grace me with a sit on my lap, but only when i was in HER chair and other than that would regularly bring me mice and birds and was obviously disdainfl that i couldn't catch them myself. Oh, she also destroyed a leather settee, defecated on my guitar and my motorbike and regularly left me little piles of cat puke in the bathroom. Loved her to bits though.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
