Strive for clear thinking. Many of us have had our thinking clouded by denial. Some of us have even lost faith in ourselves because we've spent a degree of time in denial. But losing faith in our thinking isn't going to help us. What we need to lose faith in is denial.We didn't resort to denial - either of someone else's problem or our own - because we were deficient. Denial, the shock absorber for the soul, protects us until we are equipped to cope with reality.Clear thinking and recovery don't mean we will never resort to denial. Denial is the first step toward acceptance, and for most of our life, we will be striving to accept something.
#####ROSIE....i am trying to RELAX....let go....breathe deep...work my program and just *ride this energy out*...i nearly broke my shin this am, trying to get the cat up in the attick to catch the mouse/rat that has been chewing and doo doo'ing up there, and i fell back wards on the step ladder with frightened/ angry cat in my arms, i did a *back peddel* down, and scraped the s*** out of my shin....i blew my stack!!! i mean the anger over this last 10 days built up i guess and i *let er rip*......i haven't lost faith in me but i am just sick of the negativity being thrown at me....getting *handed* crap over which i have been pretty patient, i guess the *step ladder* thing was the last straw!!!!! so i may have old anger , still, trying to get out with the *current stimuli* BACK to the first 3 steps....detach....give over......i am not in denial i don't think, i mean i KNOW where this crap is comming from.....FEAR and its subordinates: frustration/ anger/ negative circumstances out of my control....at least i am AWARE....and i do ACCEPT....the ACTION???? work the heck out of the steps, and figure out REALLY how to give this up!!!!! release me from it!!!! i know before denial cushioned me from the most horrific exhistence as a child....it probably saved me...now??it is not my friend...and i am doing ok, not denying anything....i am having to face myself pretty deep here, i still have old anger...i still have fear.....i still feel scared when i am not in control......so i am not denying my fear and the anger that goes with it......
Clear thinking means we don't allow ourselves to become immersed in negativity or unrealistic expectations. We stay connected to other recovering people. We go to our meetings, where peace of mind and realistic support are available. We work the Steps, pray, and meditate.We keep our thinking on track by asking our Higher Power to help us think clearly - not by expecting Him, or someone else, to do our thinking for us.Today, I will strive for balanced, clear thought in all areas of my life.
######ROSIE....i am doing my program, doing my shares.....will go to meet tonight probably an AA meet because i abused alcohol B4 recovery and still get the urge to *escape* the BS .....i am working the program.....lots of contact with my HP, and i am not being very nice lately........i am trying to do my *gratitude* thing.....TODAY i am ok....maybe i can build off it by just hunkering down, and saying TODAY is a NEW day!!!! i will BEGIN AGAIN!!!! thank you DONE
