She's a shapely, voluptuous brunette with wavy tresses of dark hair literally gleaming with health and vigor. Her body is hypnotically appealing--feminine, luring, inviting. She loves to wear hip-hugger jeans and short blouses, and when her back is to me I can see the tattoo of a phoenix in the small of her back; it peeks at me just above her pantyline. And her scent: It's as fresh and as bright as the morning.
Yet this is no mere looker; when this woman smiles she lights up the room. Her disposition is as sunny as a warm spring day. She's quick to laugh, eager to inquire as to the current trials and tribulations of my life, and relaxed, confident, and self-assured in her demeanor. If not for the wedding band on her finger. . .if not for my own loving relationship with my better half. . .I would be sorely tempted to move our interaction beyond the realm of its current proprietary sphere.
But alas, she's the clerk at the corner liquor store--the very store I visited almost daily--the very store where I purchased substance that sent me on countless slobbering sprees. She hasn't seen my shadow darken her doorstep in weeks; I wonder if she misses me? Does she think about me, wonder where I am, or if I've moved, or if something has become of me? I wonder, and it makes me smile. And when I smile, I smile with an inner peace, courtesy of my Higher Power. This lady may wonder where I've gone, but I no longer wander without purpose or meaning.
Hey Mikel, She may wonder where you've gone, she sounds like a great person. The lady and her husband I always bought my vodka from were very sweet, kind people. As a matter of fact, she was one of the people who told me I might want to slow down on the gallons of vodka I was purchasing from her shop. So, I started going to another shop , just went to her's everyother day.
Anyway, I'd been sober for a few years when her daughter moved back to town to work in the store, the husband died. I had a gift shop in my town , met the daughter, we became friends. I was able to have a real friendship with my old liquor store friend. She told me how much she was concerned for me in those days I drank, and then how she and her daughter were really concerned about my husband , who is now in jail.
Anyway, I learned she was an alcoholic, she was put in a nursing home, gave up and died. I was one of only a hand full of people at her funeral. I'm still friends with her daughter, who by the way is married to an alcoholic, and the cycle goes on.
There are many times I think about the men and women I served all the years I was a bartender, I never once told them I was concerned about how much they were drinking. I refused to serve a few when they got too drunk, drove some home after closing time. Took a few home with me, I was usually on my way to being drunk by closing time. Took one home with me one night and then married him a year later, hmmmmm.A lot of my old customers are in jail or dead now.
Anyway, I guess you just sparked a memory,I know I sound like a rambling fool, but I truly believe God used that lady to help me get sober, she planted a seed.She cared, I wish I could have helped her.I wish I could help her daughter and son-in-law, I'm just here, just being an example of being sober and loving them both.
Well, there's that feminine side of yours again, Phil. You know, if it wouldn't be so off-topic, we could discuss cookware or your latest tuna casserole recipe. Oh, and I made a strawberry shortcake/chocolate mousse combination the other night that is to die for! By the way: bleach or peroxide? Only my hairdresser knows for sure.
You just nailed it in your post: You continue to be an example by staying sober. That's the best you can do, for yourself and others. What's in the past is in the past (hey, that's a hard one for me to deal with, too, but I'm trying). Looks like life has dealt you a few cards from the bottom of the deck, but it also looks like you continue to persevere. I appreciate all your contributions to this forum.
Gammy: There are many times I think about the men and women I served all the years I was a bartender, I never once told them I was concerned about how much they were drinking.
I did 10 years working in bars. One of the customers was that bad that we let him drink himself unconcious and then took him to the hospital and got him on a detox program.
4 years later, he's still alive and sober!
Had to be done.
Got to go.
Best wishes to everyone
Chris.
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"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989"
