As most of you have experienced, the wreckage of our past often crowds us very quickly in early sobriety. I am no exception. While on my spree which thankfully came to an end 2 weeks ago, I went and screwed up my finances.
My inclination was always to find someone to bail me out -- particularly my father. My other inclination was to be deceptive to obtain more money to rob Peter to pay Paul. I sought the advice from those in the program, and several messages were clear: a) this is MY responsibility - not my father's; b) honesty, honesty, honesty; and c) pray. I woke up this morning, and started scheming...but all the while, the "inner voice" told me that what I was doing was wrong. I must be honest that in at least one respect, God did for me what I couldn't do for myself in closing two avenues that I thought were potential solutions.
Ultimately, I faced the problem like an ADULT instead of my typical child-like reaction. First and foremost, I did not ask my father to "bail me out" as I have so many prior times. I went directly to the debtor and told them my situation. While they were not as flexible as I had hoped, they did work with me in limited respects -- enough that the problem will not be as great as I thought it would be.
So I am continuing to do things differently -- my thoughts aren't that much different, but what I am DOING is different...
So help me do something else if you will through some accountability...Today is Sept. 27...my goal is to ask someone to be my sponsor within the next two weeks...hold me to it...by Oct. 11, I am going to ask someone to sponsor me. I am going to start sharing in meetings about this and my fears/desires...I am going to be open and honest about it, and hopefully God will put the right person in front of me and grant me the courage to ask them for help.
-- Edited by voyager7429 on Tuesday 27th of September 2011 10:16:06 PM
Nice share Voyager. I am responsible, is without a doubt a learned trait, my friend, and you have adapted rather quickly -may I say, so be proud of that. We welcome you into the fold of recovery services Voyager, as you take the first of many steps towards achieving what we call "lasting sobriety", one day at a time. We hope you can find a sponsor worthy of your best, and are finally able to enjoy all the benefits this wonderful fellowship has to offer, now and forever. I hope you can, starting today.
~God bless~
-- Edited by Mr_David on Friday 30th of September 2011 02:36:11 PM
What Mr David said! I seem to remember having a similar attitude when I came to the fellowship, summed up in three words, honesty, open mindedness and willingness. Your post demonstrates these three indispensible characterisics admirably. It bodes well for your future.
Voyager, I sure do appreciate you sharing this. Your decision to be responsible about the money problem helped me today with a financial problem Im dealing with too. So, thankyou!
I do hope your search for a sponsor is fruitful. And if you pray about it, God will put the right person in your path that will guide you thru the 12 steps.
Thanks all for the replies! Happycamper -- such experiences certainly give a new meaning to the phrase "the truth will set you free" don't they? The way of faith is truly easier I'm beginning to understand...
