Through this last post where I stated my grand idea of getting drunk and turning myself to prison in TN, I have realized that I was holding on to control. Even control that leads to my own demise. As I begin to allow God to have complete control of my life, I every once and a while get the feeling of being spaced out and kinda lost. Grabbing an old idea and romancing it used to be a way I could get at least some temporary peace of mind. Not anymore. I must practice the mind set that God is everything and in charge of everything in my life. As I practice this I feel the knot releasing from my gut and worry dissapating from my mind. Learning to care about my life in a healthy way without trying to manage it is a balancing act that I need alot of practice at. Thank all you for shooting straight with me. You are helping saving my life and I am glad I am sober today!
You still have to manage your life. The step says your life HAD become unmanageable due to your alcoholism. It doesn't say stop managing your life and wait for God to drive you on autopilot. You still have to do the footwork, be responsible and manage all the challenges you face while trying to be in accordance with God's will for you. All this means is that you live by spiritual principles but your daily decisions and choices still have to be made by you.
I got it all twisted at first and thought I should be receiving daily reports from God on his will for me and I should do nothing unless I was sure that was what God wanted. It doesn't work that way. Do the best you can David. God is guiding you through this but God acts through your sponsor, peers in AA, people on this site, your family....You will learn to make sound spiritually based decisions with more time and practice and as a culmination of doing the steps.
At least that is how I see it.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
