I had a pretty devastating day at work yesterday. To make a very long story short, I had an opportunity to speak in a conference as part of my job. This is something that I have worked very hard for - I went back to school to get my masters and to bust my ass trying to become more knowledgable in my field - and it has been about eight years in the making. I accepted to speak, I was extremely excited and I knew that this was going to be an amazing opportunity for me, my company, and my project.
Yesterday, my boss pulled me aside and told me that he "did not feel comfortable" letting me go to speak. Not because I was technially incapable, but as a "punishment" for having been late on deadlines during grad school (although I was only working part time at the office - I was also working full time as a research assistant and going to school full time). The shitty part is that everything is on track now, and it has been for a month.
God must have given me incredible patience because I listened, and when he was done, I smiled and politely said "Thank you", and walked away.
I grabbed my purse and hit the closest bar. I sat in my car and chain smoked and I just could not leave the car. And something happened - I picked up the phone and called my sponsor. The rest is a blur as I was sobbing uncontrollably and just telling her "help me, I don't know what to do". In the end, she was able to calm me down and I met her at AA half an hour later.
My sponsor told me she was very proud of me, and that even though I am still working through the first three steps, I just passed Step 3: In my time of desperation, I turned my will over to God and he took care of me.
Today, I am proud to say that I am 52 days sober. I claimed victory over alcohol, through the help of my HP and my sponsor. It works, it really does. The program worked. If I did not have AA in my life, it would have been so easy for me to walk into the bar, order a beer and tell myself "It's ok. God will forgive you". But the difference is AA.
So for my brothers and sisters in sobriety, just remember that we are all in this together. And I thank every single one of you because whether you know it or not, you all help me stay sober. This program has helped me stay sober. My God has helped me stay sober.
Thank you for letting me share. Have an awesome weekend!
Excellent BlueBee,great message of hope and promise as we work ,daily,relying on the God of our understanding "working: a program to the best of our ability and giving back what we were so freely given. It is through God's grace and mercy that we were able to show up to grow up and find that new way to live through our program and its "life saving" solutions. 52 days is that awesome or what!!!!
__________________
Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Well done! You have just proven that in any kind of stressful situation our program works. I consider yours to be of a very serious nature, because we are sensitive people. I probably would have relapsed. I pray that you will keep growing & sharing with others.
Great Blue!! yes it does work...just like that when you work it and you worked it and it worked so there...enjoy!! and thanks for bringing that back here to give us hope. ((((hugs))))
Thanks for sharing Blubee. That was a great example of the program working. You found a great sponsor to take you through the steps and you haven't been wasting any time. In my experience God always looks after those who are honestly, openmindedly, and willing doing their best to live this program. Keep up that step work and it will get even better. Well done.
