im 7yrs sober but just had a major hysterectomy&have been very deppressed.ive been with filled with self pity&every other character defect.ive been feeling like my first 2yrs.after 2 weeks of feeling sorry for myself&being miserable i finally slowly to give my will back to god.even though i pray every day&was begging him to make me feel not crazy,i forgot "prayer then action".i just started getting honest&humbling myself with my sponsor&in meetings.i had to bring up gratitude&fought the not to with my sponsor.im now back to bringing topics alot&remmembering every day to pray then do the action,stay honest with my sponsor&to get out of the drivers seat&let God take the wheel again.im not great yet,but i know with Gods grace "this to shall pass".
Welcome to "MIP". Thanks, first of all for your honesty. It's something to be admired, that's for sure. I too, had some very trying circumstances to overcome in sobriety as well, which can feel a bit overwhelming at times. How we choose to respond can make us or break us, so they say. Something, you know all too well. You responded with a "this too shall pass" attitude, which will benefit you in the long run. Guaranteed...
I hope you find a seed of greater purpose at the end of that rainbow we call victory. A seed of success not just victory, far beyond the realms of recovery services and "AA". Call it, a greater glimpse of a more vibrant and fulfilling sober life -ODAAT. Something, I'll pray for from this point on. I Promise.
Oh... one last thing. My sponsor once said, and I'm quoting here: "In every adversity, there is a seed of equal or greater benefit just waiting to be had". "A seed, that the sower can eventually cultivate into fertile ground, God willing". I hope that seed blooms a beautiful flower just for you.
~God bless~
-- Edited by Mr_David on Wednesday 10th of August 2011 02:55:47 AM
Thanks for your great sharing Natalie. I am sorry to hear of your medical problems but I admire your courage in getting through them. I would be the biggest baby of all time when it comes to operations and the like, even going to the dentist is a big deal for me. But I have been sober quite a while and been through a few of those trying events that life throws up from time to time and each time I have got through, and each time my faith gets a little stronger. I get through by doing just what you are doing - living in the solution - prayer, sharing with my close AA friends one to one, and living the steps to the best of my ability. Mr sponsor also had a saying like Mr David's. "Through adversity we grow" It will pass, it will get better, and ditto everything Mr David wrote. God Bless, Mike.
Thanks Natalie! We learn how to identify the problem and then seek the solution.Seeing ourselves coming is truly a blessing of continued work, that little pinch that hits us when "life on life's terms continue to show up.We are human and will have ups and downs but we have learned and are learning daily,how to continually get back up!!Thanks for "How it works" ,yes it does .......We transfer our prayers and meditations to how we can serve our God best and seek God's will. More is always revealed....
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
I've had to deal with three major medical issues in the past 12 months, two of which involved having to take pain pills for a short while. The first two were not unexpected and were dealt with fairly straight forward with some procedures. The most recent was totally unexpected and it messed with my life for 5 weeks. I still have a few follow up tests but it's still kind of a mystery how it happened, even though it's gone for now. It seems like it's all a sneak preview of getting older. My mom - who is 27 years older than me - recently joked that she's not retired, she's a full time patient now. And she has a whole slew of doctors to see and meds to take, yet she's more or less healthy at 81 and doesn't have any currently life-threatening conditions. But all of what she went through and what I went through can be depressing if I think about it too much. I'm just happy to be back to abby-normal for now. Being sick is weird... your life is disrupted, but you become accustomed to being cared for... all you want is to be back to normal then you miss the attention, or the down time... or the pain pills LOL.
Body and mind are totally intertwined. And this is barely understood by science... but certainly one can affect the other profoundly. Just a small example: if I get pissed when I'm driving, I actually have a pain hit me in the low back *before* I have done any reaction at all. Light changes, driver in front of me doesn't move, I get a zap of back pain, and THEN I yell GO dammit!!. I've tried to change this with some success but I've found that once I experience the pain, the reaction MUST happen in some form. I've occasionally managed to suppress the back pain, but that involves altering my expectations consciously. I hope with enough practice, I won't have to be as vigilant and will have fewer failures, because the truth is, if I can skip that bit with the back pain, I can skip the rest of being an asshole too.
Thanks for the share Natalie..."this too shall pass" was and is a biggie slogan for me and was the foundation stone along with "Don't React" and "When in doubt don't" for me to be still...very still and just listen, learn, practice. "This too shall pass" is also hooked right up to "Let go and Let God" and "Easy does it". Great slogan and practice you will and are getting thru it. Keep coming back. ((((hugs))))
Heya Natalie. Thanks for sharing. Don't forget "Easy does it" Hormones contribute MAJORLY to your mood and this can explain some of the problems with depression. I am not a doctor, but I suggest talking to yours about your mood as it is something that might be directly related to the operation and treatable with some kind of or a different kind of Hormone Replacement Therapy.
Of course, I have not much to add to what you already know about weathering storms using AA tools. You have been doing it 2 x longer than me and it sounds like you already have a good plan.
In support,
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I am glad to see that you decided against making the pity pot your permanent residence. I tried it many years ago and did not like it so I CHOOSE not to go there anymore. The good news is you too can have a choice. You can choose whether to sit on the pity pot, all the good this usually does is to leave a ring around our butt. Your other choice is how long to stay there should you chooses to take up residence.
For me total acceptance of God's will for me was the key to a life that is happy, joyous and free.
Keep sharing, it will set you free.
Larry H,
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"In order to recover, one must know the difference in having faith in God, and actually trusting God."
