"For us, to use or drink or lose ourselves is to die, often in more ways than one."Basic Text, p.78As newcomers, many of us came to our first meeting with only a small spark of life remaining. That spark, our spirit, wants to survive. recovery nurtures that spirit. The love of the fellowship quickly fans that spark into a flame. With the Twelve Steps and the love of other recovering addicts, we begin to blossom into that whole, vital human being our Higher Power intended us to be. We begin to enjoy life, finding purpose in our existence. Each day we choose to stay clean, or maintain our emotional sobriety our spirit is revitalized and our relationship with our God grows. Our spirit becomes stronger each day we choose life by staying clean.
#######ROSIE...literally , i was half dead when i got here....i was in the MIDDLE of my next suicide when my friend who became my sponser for a while, caught me and talked me into trying recovery.....i as defeated....i had HAD it!!!! but i guess i still had a small spark of life remaining cuz i said "ok, i'll give it a try" i did not expect anything.....i didn't expect ANY thing anymore.....to me expectations misplaced are premeditated resentments......i didn't want any more to do with it......really i was so separated from my God that to send him an email would be out of reach!!!! we were on opposite poles.....my abuser even had taken away my God........when i stumbled into recovery, all that changed!! but it was slow....finding people who would love me/ accept me/ not judge me/ could relate to me brought me slowly back to life.....i began to open up to and be willing for a higher power of my understanding...i had to *fuddle duddle* around, taking a piece of that and a snip of this, but i finally *pieced* together what my HP is to me......so my spark began to glow under the breath this program breathed upon me......each day i work my program, stay loyal to me/ and my program, i am emotionally sober........my spirit is comming back....my health is getting better.....i am getting better.......
Despite the fact that our new life in recovery is rewarding, the urge to use/ or drink or go back to old coda patterns can sometimes be overwhelming. When everything in our lives seems to go wrong, a return to using/drinking/ coda crazies can seem like the only way out. But we know what the consequence will be if we use - the loss of our carefully nurtured spirituality. We have traveled too far along the spiritual path to dishonor our spirit by using or drinking or old separation from self..... Snuffing the spiritual flame we have worked so hard to restore in our recovery is too dear a price to pay for getting high.Just for today: I am grateful that my spirit is strong and vital. Today, I will honor that spirit by staying clean.
#######ROSIE.....the urge to get back into old patterns can sometimes be horrible....i have to really hunker down and work the steps/ the basics of the program with prayer and surrendering it......i came TOO far worked TOO hard put in TOO much time for the darkness to mess up my program NOW!!!!! i will give it all i got and pray MORE......give it up MORE.....my favorite sayings are *what i permit....i promote* *what i do not resist, shall persist*........i know i have to fight the enemy!!! with the power of my HP working THROUGH my open and willing soul---- we CAN---we WILL----we ARE....thank you DONE......
