Today marks 16 days of sobriety! I'm still hanging on!
I'd like to share something I went through this weekend.
My family came into town, along with my "crazy ass" cousins - these are the cousins I party with, and I mean drink-until-you-can't-get-up party. I knew it was going to be tough for me this weekend as I am dead set on my sobriety, yet this was going to be the first time that I would be around a group of people drinking.
The plan was - we would get started at a concert (Katy Perry), then head downtown for bar hopping and drinking. Now, thank my HP that he was able to give me the strength to know what my limits are, because I decided that I would drop them off downtown and pick them up after the bars close. I wasn't sure if I could stay sober at bars, but I decided that I didn't want to take the risk. So I decided to be their DD - and that I did.
Prior to the concert, I told one of my closest cousins that I was no longer drinking and I am a recovering alcoholic (much to her surprise!) During the concert, she kept asking me if I'd like something to drink (water, soda, etc) and I politely said no. However, she kept drinking her beer and I just got...SAD!! So SAD! I couldn't understand why my mood had changed! So I asked my HP to please help me stay sober and ten minutes later, I found myself outside the stadium, smoking a cigarette and talking to my sponsor. We talked for a good ten minutes, then I went back in. I was very happy the rest of the night.
My sponsor brought up a good point about why I may have gotten sad - she said it is just a tranisition period where I am letting go of a "best friend" - alcohol has been with me in almost every instance where I was partying or being social. I can't remember the last time I did something social and stayed sober. I always had a drink in my hand. The beginning is tough - she said - but she was very happy that I called her. The way I see it, alcohol is like a very violent ex-boyfriend that keeps promising that this time "will be better" but I know I will end up bloody and covered in bruises.
And let me tell ya - being the sober one amongst a bunch of drunks is EXTREMELY INSIGHTFUL! I prayed the entire time I was driving the group of drunks to my HP for patience - it was hilarious but nerve-racking!
You wrote "The way I see it, alcohol is like a very violent ex-boyfriend that keeps promising that this time "will be better" but I know I will end up bloody and covered in bruises."
That resonates with me, having "been there-done that", with the insanity of not going and staying gone until hitting a bottom finally resulting in freedom, much like the dreadful bottom it often takes to help us keep the insanity of this disease at bay long enough to get past the early stage of being pulled back, weakened by the seduction of thinking we can handle what we usually can not and should not even be playing with. It's great that you called your sponsor when you did!
And this would be a great example of making use of tools that AA has to offer. I really love that you called your sponsor during than tense moment. You are showing other people who are just starting this journey how it is done. Way to make use of the program! Keep it up.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
And this would be a great example of making use of tools that AA has to offer. I really love that you called your sponsor during than tense moment. You are showing other people who are just starting this journey how it is done. Way to make use of the program! Keep it up.
Amen...great job. Remember, you're amoungst friends. Need I say more.
-- Edited by Mr_David on Friday 5th of August 2011 02:44:14 AM
Yeah, good choices made. No point going to bars to drink soda and watch your cousins party till they puke? Mind you, in time, you'll let the buggers find their own way home. Good that you called your sponsor too. I was always told in early sobriety to stay away from boozers (both people and places where ddrink is sold) unless i had a damn good reason to be there. going to a bar to drink soda water isn't a good reason. Socialising with friends or colleagues - for a while - can be. as for drunkards flapping their jaws - I can live without it, it's like early onset alzheimers, where everything gets reeated ona 20 minutes cycle and it's usually a load of old tut anyway. you done good.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
I get tied up in that sad state of emotion and this helps me realize that I too mourn for my constant companion-alcohol. Though always betrayed by it, Alcohol has been the one that was always by my side. Just under 60 days and the barrage of feelings are most of the time not relevant to the present time. Grieving loss though it be the ultimate betrayer, alcohol. I miss the familiar even as painful as it was. Thanks, bluebee for helping unlock a new awareness in me.
Awesome courage and awareness BlueB...That is how it works before and during and after 16 days of recovery. I learned from that with the exception of doing the DD thingy. I was told to stay away from everything alcoholic and just did it that way without daring "one more chance". I was done...toast. Thanks for bringing the success here.
