I am about 50 days new....AGAIN! I have been staying in halfway houses for three years and put together a year then out for two weeks. Then 9 months and out again for a week. Anyway, I have been at one this last 50 days and was asked if I wanted to move to a nice house as a roommate. The guy is 23 years sober and I thought it was a good idea so 4 days ago I moved in and gave him the agreed $600 for the month. Well yesterday my sponsor ripped in on me and said I was on my way to another relapse and needed to stay in a structured environment. I rationlized and debated and gave all the "yea but's" and somehow he got through to me. So I moved back to the halfway house and am so glad I did. I can see the pattern in hindsight and it scares me how quick I can get lost! Thank God my sponsor doesn't sugar coat anything and thank god my ears opened! Today I am convinced that my life run on self will is doomed. I am in God's grace today!!
In that situation, for me, I would talk with my sponsor before I was contemplating any major change in my life, especially if I have history with relapse. I am not saying that you can't turn the light on without calling but even today with many cups of coffee behind me, I find .for me, speaking with my sponsor about any major changes in my life is beneficial. Sometimes we get the blinders on and it is always good to talk with our support group.Congrats on 50 days and I can only suggest if you want the next 50 keep working,applying and staying in the "solution".We are told that we do recover but it is based on that "fit" spiritual condition,the daily reprieve brought about by application of our principles in our lives and actions of,, because there ain't always gonna be someone around, except of course your Higher Power and getting there first is always our goal......Glad you showed up here,continue working and applying and eventually "you'll see your own self coming'!!!Peace Keep coming back okay!!!
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
