Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we need to maintain. The quality of that relationship will determine the quality of our other relationships.When we can tell ourselves how we feel, and accept our feelings, we can tell others.When we can accept what we want and need, we will be ready to have our wants and needs met.When we can accept what we think and believe, and accept what's important to us, we can relay this to others.When we learn to take ourselves seriously, others will too.When we learn to chuckle at ourselves, we will be ready to laugh with others.
#####ROSIE.....i always have said that *love is an inside job* andi truly believe it......and as far as honesty with me??? hell i was so numb on alcohol and denial, i was my *biggest bulls****er*....so how , really , could i spread honesty to the world???? i couldn't!!! not really.....i could never tell another soul how much i hurt--becuz i numbed it!!! i could never tell another soul that i needed a hug--becuz i felt i didn't deserve life!!! i couldn't tell another soul i wanted to die----becuz i felt noone gave a damn!!! ...so how were my needs to be met???? they didn't get met......not until i got into recovery......SOMEthing wanted me to live!!! and so i found myself here in recovery....the first few days into the program, felt like a *home comming* for me....i found souls who not only felt love/compassion for me, but who *knew how i felt*....i was not afraid to *let it all hang out* and as i did, sharing with others, listening to their shares, i realized that "hey i am NOT alone--not dirty--not diferent---not unique" i realized that i WAS worth saving after all.......step #4, was a *hay maker* for me!!! but you know??? even on the first *go around* i saw good!!!! i saw that i had GOOD stuff about me too!!!! i was SO hungry to heal......God was not gonna let me die so i HAD to make this life work!!!!! so i got HUNGRY!!! *hungry as a wolf*..i tore into this program like a shark on a feeding frenzy!!!!! and it was OK to be honest!!! it was OK to bare my soul, becuz i was not alone!!!! it was OK to admit/ accept that i was *perfectly imperfect*......the more i did this (steps ) the more i wanted to REvisit the steps....i WANTED to know me!!! the REAL me!!! the ME before i was attacked!!!!! and what i saw, i liked!!! and now i am learning to love!!!!! i am no longer afraid to say "i messed up"!! the sky is not going to fall in on me becuz i goofed!!!!! .
When we have learned to trust ourselves, we will be trustworthy and ready to trust.When we can be grateful for who we are, we will have achieved self-love.When we have achieved self-love and accepting our wants and needs, we will be ready to give and receive love.When we've learned to stand on our own two feet, we're ready to stand next to someone.Today, I will focus on having a good relationship with myself.
3######ROSIE...people tell me ALL the time "rosie you are SO diferent---NOTHING like you used to be" my sister kay "walked through this crap with me" she would nag and plead with me to want to live/ to surrender to God!!!! and she was right!!! but i had to FIRST, work through my intense pain/grief first......and as i do....as i become friends with *step #4*....i become more aware of the REAL me....the " i am of me"....not the poor tortured little creature i once was!!!!! i love me....i accept me....JUST the way i am....and if others don't????? its ok!!!! as long as my thoughts and deeds are NOT taking away from another creature, i am OK with me!!!! my prayer TODAY is-----"Great Spirit of the universe...Creator of all things good...make me a conduit of your good.....allow me and my fellows to realize and share the good square of life which is health/abundence/love and self expression....i thank you for today and i go free to glorify YOU"!!!!! thank you, DONE
